Invitations, Intention, and a Little Adventure: A Conversation with Adventure Mom

SPEAKER_02 0:05

Welcome back, everybody, to the podcast Kinda Preachy. I'm your host, Casey Bryant, along with my co-host. I'm Steph Moore. And so we always like to start off the podcast with how our weeks went. And we've decided that we're going to keep it with crappy and happy. Give me the crappy and give me the happy. So you're going to start it off this week. What was crappy and happy about your week?

SPEAKER_03 0:28

Okay. So the crappy is we my son had his first car accident.

SPEAKER_02 0:37

I know. That's when we need video because you can't see my my reaction.

SPEAKER_03 0:43

I know.

SPEAKER_02 0:44

But when you say car accident, are we talking total? Are we talking the car is okay? One, is your son okay? That's that's the biggest question I have.

SPEAKER_03 0:51

My son and his girlfriend are okay.

SPEAKER_02 0:52

Oh, the girlfriend would be a good one. Oh, that's a whole nother layer.

SPEAKER_03 0:56

I know. They got T-boned. Um, but thankfully it was in a parking lot, they weren't going very fast, but it was a jeep that had tow hooks and it kind of put a hole right in his passenger side. Like the driver's the passenger side door and the backseat. So if we were to turn this into insurance, would they total it? I think so. Really?

SPEAKER_02 1:16

But it is still drivable, and I think it is every new driver's rite of passage to have to drive a car with some dings and scrapes and my Isabel, who's 21, is still driving the same car she got at 16 that still has a very large dent in the door. And she keeps asking us to fix it, and I'm like, uh nope.

SPEAKER_03 1:36

I mean, this would be a real, you know, you cannot open the passenger side door.

SPEAKER_02 1:40

So this the you might need to fix this one.

SPEAKER_03 1:42

Uh it's significant.

SPEAKER_02 1:44

I mean that's safety issues, because how are you gonna get out of the car if you can't open it up?

SPEAKER_03 1:48

You're not gonna you're not gonna have a passenger on that side. He will be driving Miss Daisy if you have anybody in your car. It'll be Sam's chauffeur service of but to be honest, he's you know, he's in the end. I think these things make these kids better drivers. I I truly believe he will pay better attention. It was while it was his fault, it was circumstances. I'm just gonna ask you if it was his fault or not. It was foggy. I don't know if in northern Kentucky, Cincinnati, we had a lot of fog over the weekend. We had some some rain, and um, the person who was driving the other car did not have their headlights on. He truly did not see them. Doesn't make it, you know, it is what it is. It was just a sad situation.

SPEAKER_02 2:24

Clearly, he doesn't have a car that has the backup system that beeps when there's a car near. It is a 2001 Honda 7. I love that so much.

SPEAKER_03 2:33

And it's okay, you know. Um he loves it. Love that. He's sad. We're recovering. He had to pay for the damages to the other car. Um, so he has learned a very hard lesson, and I truly believe in the end it will be better than this. Um, do you want to do your crappy or my happy first? You you just keep going. Let Okay. What's your happy? Okay, so my happy it's going to be the feedback that we got on last week. Um, more specifically about my upbringing in Utah.

SPEAKER_02 3:05

I've had lots of questions. So lots of questions about this.

SPEAKER_03 3:09

I'm not gonna say any more about that word. I apologize. It was not meant to be offensive in any way if you took it that way, because I do know my mom's friends listened.

SPEAKER_02 3:18

Oh, from from Utah? No, here. Oh, from here okay.

SPEAKER_03 3:22

From here. And they said, Yeah, well, you know, um, I think this might hit a younger demographic than what we are. And my mom, who has not listened, um, maybe she'll listen by now. Uh mom, I promise not to embarrass the family name. But I am so thrilled that people are listening and you're feeling like you get to engage with us. And even if you're just sending us texts and you're not, you know, do engaging on the socials, we get it. We get it. Um, but the fact that people are willing to text us dead emojis, um we got that one together. Join one, just straight up laughter. You know, I I did have a conversation with my mom yesterday, and she was we she was kind of talking about the approach of you know what the podcast is gonna take. And I said, you know what? I want to be the same person I am on here that I am if you were to go out to lunch with me. And when I say something mildly inappropriate on accident, probably that's that's me, that's who I am. And in the end, um, all this is about Jesus, but we're setting a table for you to come to, and we want to be people that you feel comfortable hanging out with, and maybe sometimes slightly uncomfortable, but isn't that what friendship is really all about?

SPEAKER_02 4:31

Oh, a hundred percent. And what and when it's slightly uncomfortable is when it's the best.

SPEAKER_03 4:36

So yeah, uh so I mean, is it crappy, happy, maybe a little bit of both? Of both. Uh so tell me, give me your crappy and happy girlfriend.

SPEAKER_02 4:44

My crappy is I got a text message at 12 47 in the morning, Sunday morning, from my son who's in college, that says, Are you awake?

SPEAKER_03 4:55

Oh no.

SPEAKER_02 4:56

And when you get that, you you start to freak out. And I'm like, Yes, I'm awake. I am now. I 100%. I was not, but I for some reason I don't I think it's a mom thing. Like I can hear the slightest noise and I wake up from from a child, like if they're rolling over or anything. So my phone dings and and I get that. He proceeds to tell me that he was doing laundry. Why at midnight on a Sunday or Monday morning, and there was a pen, an ink pen in the dryer. I don't know if it was his, I don't know if it was a f another college student who left it in there, but there was an ink pen and all of his clothes have ink all over it, and he's like, What do I need to do? So I am trying to figure out searching, googling, like how do you get ink pen? And there it's all like it doesn't come out. Good luck.

SPEAKER_03 5:57

Also, can I just say the fact that he called his mom at 1230 with this emergency and there's gonna be so many other things, but he knows Yes, that I will respond and answer.

SPEAKER_02 6:06

Yeah, and of course, my response was um, I guess we can go to Walmart and Goodwill and buy you new clothes. Because it was like his favorite clothing too. Like his white Nike sweatshirt that he loves now has ink stains. So what ended up happening is then I get a text on Wednesday from our daughter who's also in college there, and she lives in a house with girls, other girls, so she has her own laundry, and she said, Torn better, our son's name is Torn. Um, she said, Torn better get me a very good Christmas present because she had all of his laundry and was trying to figure out how to get the stains out. Now I have not heard what happened. I don't know, I don't have the end of the story, so I don't know if all the stains come out came out or not.

SPEAKER_03 6:52

Listen, I know this is crappy, but I there's so much happiness that your kids are calling each other.

SPEAKER_02 6:57

They do they I they do hang out. I I I get they FaceTime from them all together all the time that they're going to dinner or they're going to lunch, or Torrin's coming over to cook dinner for them, or or Torin will be doing his laundry there from now. He will be doing his laundry there from from now on, depending. Or he's going to Goodwill to buy himself a whole entire new wardrobe.

SPEAKER_03 7:19

All right. Well, that was semi-crappy. Give me your happy then.

SPEAKER_02 7:23

My happy is it's like feast or famine when it comes to jobs, but I have three job interviews this week. I'm very excited about it. I'm very excited to actually because I I believe I have sent out anywhere between 60, 50, 60 resumes within the last four months. And so sometimes I don't hear anything, but this week I've had three interviews. I have no idea where they're gonna go if they go anywhere, but I'm just excited to finally be talking to people.

SPEAKER_03 7:49

Yeah, and can I just say to whoever future um hiring managers who might be hiring Casey Bryant. Oh, yes. I have worked alongside her. I have worked on the city. Oh my gosh, you're gonna pitch for me. I am telling you that she is a gem. Oh. And um these people who have not responded or have passed on or moved in other directions, you do not know what you are missing. Oh, that makes me cry.

SPEAKER_02 8:15

And so true.

SPEAKER_03 8:16

Yeah, so true. I'm just telling you, I I just she has drive and passion and uh good ideas and an infectious excitement that she will bring to any workplace, and that is why you should hire Casey Bryant. Oh my gosh, thank you. Five stars. Five stars.

SPEAKER_02 8:32

Ah, thank you. I appreciate that. That's my official, yeah. I well, I don't even know how to move on from that. But I am excited about today's episode because today's episode is the first time that we have a guest.

SPEAKER_03 8:44

We do. And you know what? You know, we've put the hard pitch out here that we want to hear people's stories. And to tell a story for the very first time, it takes a very brave person to come onto this podcast with us being, I have no idea how this is gonna go. So they have to put a lot of trust in us, so that can only be done by one of a good a good friend.

SPEAKER_02 9:04

Oh, absolutely. And one of your good friends.

SPEAKER_03 9:07

It is one of my good friends. So I am so excited to introduce our very first guest ever. It's Neidra McDaniel. Hello, Neidra. Hello. Okay, so let me just give a brief um introduction of who Nidra is, and then I'll kind of let her introduce herself. Nidra is a I'm not a blogger would be an insult just to say blogger. She is a travel writer, influencer.

SPEAKER_02 9:34

I was gonna say she's an influencer. Come on, that's that's who she really is.

SPEAKER_03 9:38

An influencer is like just not even enough. I mean, I have been friends with Nidra for probably going on 12 years now, I think.

SPEAKER_01 9:46

Probably.

SPEAKER_03 9:47

Probably 12 years. Um, way back in the day when I was doing the blogging, you know, influencer thing before that was even a word. Uh, we were hustling, um, working with brands and you know, going around Cincinnati doing all the things. And she, I'll just say when I met her, this is a really funny story. So I had had my first thing go viral, and I was a newer, very new blogger, and something goes viral. I woke up one day and had 27,000 like shares, and I was like, Oh, what do we do with this? And I was getting all sorts of like attention, I didn't know what to do. So we there was this blogger network here in Cincinnati, and they said There is oh yes, there is.

SPEAKER_02 10:28

Oh, I had no idea.

SPEAKER_03 10:29

So they invite me to one of their gatherings, and it's all brand sponsored, okay? And in this brand sponsorship, I don't know anything that's happening because no brand at this point has ever sponsored me. I've I'm going in here blind. And I I look around the room, and there is this girl. She's dressed so cool. She's got a headscarf. She is this bohemian like beauty over there, and I'm like, I just had a baby and feeling like absolute garbage about myself, and she is dressed the cutest I've ever seen anyone dress. I'm like, I can't pull that off to save my life. But you said I must meet her. Well, then she goes, and my name's Nidra. I was like, Oh, she even has a cool name. Well, and that is, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:15

I didn't love my name as a kid. Oh, but what? Yeah, that's probably for later. But yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:20

Yes. Well, I mean, but now that I have had the chance to be around her for a dozen, you know, years and traveled all around with her.

SPEAKER_02 11:27

Because you're you're a travel influencer, correct? Ish. Am I saying that right?

SPEAKER_01 11:33

I would say content creator is where I feel probably the most comfortable, only because influencer has a lot of stigmas. Like when you hear that word, it's a little cringy. Like because I've met a lot of people who act on the negative side of that, but then on the PR side of things, it means you get paid. So I like to get paid, but it's a catch-22.

SPEAKER_03 11:53

And you were doing all this before the word influencer was even a thing.

SPEAKER_01 11:56

I'm like a dinosaur.

SPEAKER_02 11:57

Because how long have you been doing this?

SPEAKER_01 11:58

Since 2011.

SPEAKER_02 11:59

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_01 12:00

So it's been a minute.

SPEAKER_02 12:01

And and travel, right? Travel.

SPEAKER_01 12:04

Travel and adventure has always been my favorite.

SPEAKER_02 12:05

And so what uh what I am hearing with this is that Stephanie has been going on vacations with you.

SPEAKER_01 12:13

Work trips, my work, her perk.

SPEAKER_03 12:17

And Casey has been left out. I also offer plenty of perks of being just being my friend. I'm a great wingwoman when it comes to business.

SPEAKER_01 12:25

She is. She is.

SPEAKER_02 12:26

Okay, well, I I'm feeling a little left out on the room.

SPEAKER_01 12:28

We might have to, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:30

Well, we can do a three, like we can do a trio trip. I'm totally on down for it.

SPEAKER_01 12:34

Here's the most dangerous thing you can tell me is to tell me what's on your list because then all of a sudden I've had Stephanie do random stuff. Like she's done the trapeze, she's done.

SPEAKER_02 12:42

Wait, you were on a trapeze, both of you?

SPEAKER_01 12:44

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:45

How did it go?

SPEAKER_01 12:46

It didn't go up.

SPEAKER_02 12:46

Did you do a flip? Did you did anyone flip?

SPEAKER_01 12:49

Not that time because I was chubby than I was the last time I did the trapeze. The last time I the time before I done the trapeze, I was like in better shape. And so I could actually.

SPEAKER_02 12:58

But where do you do a trapeze?

SPEAKER_01 13:00

So Cincinnati Circus had it set up at this point.

SPEAKER_03 13:03

I forgot about Cincinnati Circus.

SPEAKER_01 13:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:06

Can I just tell you the core strength it takes to even like even like lift your lower half while you were like using you think it's arm strength? It is whole body strength, and no, neither one of us flipped that day. We did go back and we took Elena and she was able to, she was able to to flip. Um the rest of us were not.

SPEAKER_01 13:23

Yeah, I wasn't in flipping body mode.

SPEAKER_03 13:26

But it was fun. It was still fun, and it is one of those trust adventure things. But yes, she and I have done all of the things.

SPEAKER_02 13:33

So what is the cr so can I ask you guys together, like what's the craziest experience you've had on one of your trips?

SPEAKER_01 13:44

Oh, together.

SPEAKER_03 13:45

Um, I'm gonna defer to you of which one I'm allowed to share.

SPEAKER_01 13:50

Oh. I mean, I would say you for you it would probably be falconry or doing the um I'm gonna say it wrong. I feel like I say it wrong every time. Via Ferrata. I think I right, is that the way you say it? Via Ferrata.

SPEAKER_03 14:02

Yes, yes, because we were saying it wrong.

unknown 14:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:04

I feel like I it's basically like you're on the side of a cliff and you have these iron rungs that are mounted into the side of the cliff, and then you go um horizontal across the the giant mountain suspended in the air with harness and yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:20

Did you pee your pants? Because that's what I would have done.

SPEAKER_03 14:23

Wow, that's funny you should say that.

SPEAKER_02 14:25

Oh, I was kidding. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 14:27

Oh, you're serious. Oh, let me just tell you. So via Ferrata, Ferrata? No, I'm saying it's a however you're supposed to say it's a makeup early. So you were completely harnessed, and you they have these iron um things into the the cliff side.

SPEAKER_02 14:44

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 14:44

And you basically you have one hook on at all times, and then you know, then you're basically just hooking and unhooking and you're climbing in that way. And so we do like this little test section, and the guy was like, You guys are great, like go for it. And we start climbing and we're going horizontally, great. We go up one, it's great. We go horizontal, and then there's a stretch we're probably going up maybe 12 to 15 feet. I'm not saying it's a massive uh climb at this point, it was going much higher. And Nidra is in front of me, so uh straight up. Straight like a straight up. And I am like right underneath her butt, and she's moving up, and she is also can I say she is like maybe six to eight weeks post-knee surgery.

SPEAKER_02 15:31

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 15:32

Maybe ten weeks.

SPEAKER_02 15:33

What are you doing climbing a mountain post?

SPEAKER_01 15:36

Because it was like, well, it was your first trip to the gorge, and it was really so Red River Gorge.

SPEAKER_02 15:41

Yes. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 15:43

And uh for me not to be active is like painful. So like I don't like missing out on things.

SPEAKER_03 15:48

But at any rate, this was like her first like big like going to the thing. She was testing that she was feeling really good. And so she's just kind of pushing, she's pushing herself, and I'm I'm also pushing myself, but I'm telling you, clip unclip, clip, unclip, and I'm watching her, and I see she's holding on, and her clip does not clip.

SPEAKER_01 16:08

But I didn't know.

SPEAKER_03 16:09

She does not know.

SPEAKER_01 16:10

But are you screaming way up on the side of the screen?

SPEAKER_03 16:13

Because I'm having this like, we are when I tell you we're on the side of a mountain, we are on the side of a mountain. We are harnessed, but not, I mean, like, she would still fall, like significantly.

SPEAKER_01 16:22

And probably on top of her.

SPEAKER_03 16:23

And probably on top of me. So I am like, okay. All she needs to do is clip to the next thing, and she will be clipped. But there is like, but you have to take these really methodical things of where am I gonna put my foot?

SPEAKER_02 16:38

Like, it's not a this feels like it's very much like the rock climbing peop people that you see, like that have nothing like these little ledges that they're trying to scurry up a mountain.

SPEAKER_03 16:49

So she so she's not clipped in, and I'm like, okay, if I say something that could freak her out, she could fall. Oh, okay. Or I just give it a moment, pray as hard as I can that she is going to clip in and going to be fine. So she ends up clipping and she's great. And I have a full-blown panic attack. I do. I have had only a few in my entire life, and that was one of them. I sat on a rock and fetal position and pretty much cried while she finished it because it was just And I had no idea. And she had no idea because I wanted her to finish it. This was a really a challenge for herself, and this was a dream. She's been talking about this for years. So I knew this was important to her, but also knowing how easily it was to not clip in, I was freaked out.

SPEAKER_02 17:41

So when you saw her panicking on this, you just were like, Did you say screw it?

SPEAKER_01 17:45

I'm just gonna keep going, or did you No, because I was like checking to make sure because I didn't know if it was a height thing or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 17:52

So she was a good friend. You you know, I didn't ditch you.

SPEAKER_01 17:55

She did. Oh no, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_03 17:57

We also had a guide. Yeah, we had a guide. Okay. So no, she did not ditch me. There was no part of that. She's an excellent friend. I didn't she truly didn't know what was wrong with me because honestly, I don't think I've ever bailed on an adventure before.

SPEAKER_02 18:09

So when did you finally say to Nijra, like, hey, by the way, you weren't clipped in. Like you were like at the cabin, probably.

SPEAKER_03 18:15

On the cabin, we got fully back to the cabin, and I was we were so sore. Yeah. Oh my gosh, we were so sore. And I can't imagine how much sore, much more sore. I don't think that sounded right. You know what I'm saying. Yeah, grammar. Well because she went a whole lot further than I did. But I could well the next morning I could barely move. And she was like, Okay, but now we have to hike the gorge. This is what we're doing.

SPEAKER_01 18:43

I wanted her to see naturally grace.

SPEAKER_02 18:45

Okay. I didn't even see it. But that's not the trip that I really want to go on. Like, I want to go on a spa. Give me give me my some spas.

SPEAKER_03 18:53

There's there's not many adventures. We're not, there's not an element of full adventure that you guys have not tried.

SPEAKER_01 19:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:01

I think I love that for you guys.

SPEAKER_01 19:03

There's a lot of randomness too. Like, so I just feel like there's a lot of randomness in the next two. We meet just random people. Like one time we were in Columbus, we met people in for like a Comic-Con convention, and we met all kinds of fun people in our hotel.

SPEAKER_03 19:17

I bet that would be fun people. We went for a women's conference, we ended up hanging out with furries. Yes. I don't know how it happened.

SPEAKER_02 19:23

At that point in time, you're like, Do I do I fully embrace Comic-Con and dress up too?

SPEAKER_03 19:29

We didn't.

unknown 19:30

No.

SPEAKER_03 19:31

We didn't have the opportunity. But they were really, we were all singing at that same hotel. And we are like, if we meet somebody interesting, we're talking about it. It's just fun. It's just fun. Oh, absolutely. Um, so at any rate, uh we could tell a million stories, but what I will tell you is her handle is Adventure Mom. Her blog is adventure mom.com. And she is so much more than just a mom who goes on adventures.

SPEAKER_02 19:56

Because I want to know who who are you, Nidra? Besides just being an adventure mom and traveler. Are you married? Do you have children? Are you from this air? Like, are you from Kentucky, Ohio? Where what give us give us a scoop? Who are you?

SPEAKER_01 20:09

Gosh, that's a lot to I know.

SPEAKER_02 20:10

You gotta narrow it down in like three minutes just to scream.

SPEAKER_01 20:13

Give us your elevator pitch. So I've been I'm so kidding.

SPEAKER_03 20:16

I knew that was gonna trigger her.

SPEAKER_01 20:18

I make adventure attainable in every season of life. Oh that's my goal. Because if I can try it scared or stupid, I hope that you'll get inspired that you can do it too. So that's kind of my thing because I grew up like I was more of a wimp growing up, but I guess we'll get into that in a little bit. But first thing, I'm married. I've been married for oh now you're gonna have me do math. I want to say maybe 27 years, and I have two boys, um, 23 and 19.

SPEAKER_02 20:43

Okay. You're the same same, you're in the same boat as all of us. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:46

So I grew up in this area, and then I've lived in the house.

SPEAKER_02 20:49

And this area is the northern Kentucky.

SPEAKER_01 20:51

Yes, and then I've lived in Michigan multiple times and then boomeranged back here. So now back in this area for plenty of people.

SPEAKER_02 20:58

Do you prefer Michigan or this area?

SPEAKER_01 21:01

I like Michigan summer. Michigan winter is rough. Yeah, so Michigan winter is rough, but Michigan summer is glorious, and that's why people get amnesia about when it's so beautiful in the summer. Yeah, Michigan summer is great.

SPEAKER_03 21:17

Okay, so what you need to know is that at the very inception of the idea of this podcast, that Nidra has known everything. She has been a confidant, she has been an encourager, she has given ideas, and one of the things I said, you know, when we wanted to do this, like years ago, I said, I would love you to be on. And one of the topics that I think that I was most interested that she could share is what has inspired her to be an adventurer. And she has a blog post that she shares, you know, once a year around this time, because November, well, she will say November November's for her. And so we're gonna get a little bit into what November looks like for her and why. And I'm excited about it.

SPEAKER_02 22:08

Especially hearing that you were a wimp growing up. And from hearing you saying that you were a wimp growing up to now you're hanging off of a cliff and you have no idea that you're you're not even hooked in. You're just yeah. Spider-Manning along a wall.

SPEAKER_01 22:23

Right.

SPEAKER_02 22:23

Like it's cute. So how did how did this happen?

SPEAKER_01 22:26

So growing up, I only had one sibling, my older sibling, and he had cerebral palsy. So he was medically fragile, feeding tube, um, couldn't walk, couldn't, um, couldn't talk, you know, like just um, and he so growing up, like my only sibling was like I, you know, I grew up a very unique way, I guess, in that way, when you have a brother who has who's medically fragile with special needs. And so I didn't have like that older sibling harassing me to like be bold, you know, like I feel like when I even see my boys, like they will they'll do more things because they're pushing each other.

SPEAKER_02 23:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:03

So I think I approached a lot of things timidly because that's how I mean I was like scared to go down the slides in kindergarten, like stupid stuff, you know, but again, not having just stuff to push me. So it wasn't until later, and then over the years, I had um some different families actually. One family would take me on trips to the gorge and have me repel off the sides of cliffs and things, so I'd get more confident in that. But it was just one thing.

SPEAKER_02 23:29

Like family friends, or like your friends would you're Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:33

So like family friends from like our church growing up.

SPEAKER_02 23:36

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 23:36

And you know, there'd be different seasons where my brother would be in the hospital for different stays because of having cerebral palsy, and he would get pneumonia or something, and so he'd be an extended. So I would stay with different families for a period of time while my mom was in the hospital. So it was just a very um different, I guess, type of experience growing up when you have a special needs sibling. Um, so at the end of my sixth grade year, my brother passed away. So they he went in, had pneumonia, and so he had had pneumonia many times before, but that was the one that just kind of did it. And it was um when he was in the hospital, it was even so quick that like my dad didn't even make it from work in time. Like he drove and didn't even make it to the hospital in time. Um, my mom was there. Oh, my mom was there. Um so it was just a unique experience, I would even say, as a middle schooler. I was in sixth grade. So, like processing all of those, all of it by myself, you know. I didn't have another sibling to be like we shared this experience together. We just lost our sibling. It was like I was processing, so it was kind of like sink or swim. And not that my parents weren't supportive, but it's just different.

SPEAKER_03 24:46

They're also going through their own. That's very different.

SPEAKER_01 24:49

So uh grief is very much a part of my story and why I'm so passionate about like living to the fullest, not wasting days. So um, so in sixth grade, like coming back to school, and you have kids in middle school who don't know what to do because they know your brother just died. So they either ignore you because it's like awkward and uncomfortable, or they like say the wrong thing, just trying, you know. So even those, like, oh, I just cringe even thinking about my sixth grade self going to school that day. It was just so hard.

SPEAKER_03 25:18

And sixth grade is just one of the most awkward experiences ever. So you're going through all of the things at the exact same time. And it's just middle school is hard. So to be dealing with grief on top of that, and wow, yeah, that's that's tough. That's heavy.

SPEAKER_01 25:34

Yeah, so part of Novembering is my brother's birthday is in November. Okay. My mom's birthday is in November, and her death date's in November, which was just a few days ago. So my mom um took care of my brother for all those years, then she took care of all of my grandparents when they were sick, and then she detected late for breast cancer. So she um didn't know if she would live to for my wedding, but she did. Um, but they didn't know if she would live until my wedding. And then she went to remission for a little bit, and then she was my youngest, or my oldest son was two years old when she passed.

SPEAKER_02 26:10

So your mom was was pretty much was she a caretaker for pretty much her life? Pretty much, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:18

And she had she was creative, she had so much life in her, and it makes me sad because I feel like a lot of the circumstances were just like just really hard, you know, that she experienced. But she also like even while she was sick, like people would come to visit her and she'd be the one like praying for people, like, what can I do for you from her, like, you know, from the hospital bed. So she was just that type of. So it's been a different type of grief. I feel like the grieving the absence of her, because it's like now it's been, it's been 21 years since I've been without a my mom, like, but it's like she's missed so much. And so November is always extra triggering because it's like Thanksgiving's coming up. And so that's a time where you're gathering with all your family members and you're remembering the people who aren't at your table and you're remembering all the moments they've missed out, like for decades now, which is weird. And you don't want to forget those like little things about them. I don't want to forget, and like she we didn't have digital cameras and all the footage that now someone would have of their parents in the same way, you know, back then. So it's like I wish I had more things of her talking and her voice and that kind of stuff. So yeah, that's why I'm really passionate about not wasting days and living to the fullest because I know time and health aren't guaranteed for anybody and it goes can go so quick.

SPEAKER_02 27:43

So, how did that turn into Adventure Mom?

SPEAKER_01 27:49

And that was kind of like what fueled me. We lived in Grand Rapids at the time, and when we had moved there, we had moved for a job, and so I didn't I had moved from like a really good group of friends, and so I came there and I was just kind of like lonely. So I was like, well, I'm just gonna figure out what there is to do here. So I had my aha moment. This is so random, but a friend had invited me to go fencing, like a fencing class, like shape. Yes, you kind of look like a you're in a straight jacket, yes, and like a yeah. So we were in a fencing class, and so I have my aha moment on the drive because I was like, God, what am I supposed to do? And so my aha was like to just finance my family's fun for free. Like that was gonna be my goal. Which I mean, I did it as a hobby for years and years, and then it eventually evolved. But I was just more open to well, because even just living in a different city where you don't have your buffer of friends, like you're pushed out of your comfort zone all the time. So it was like I almost had to like live with being out of my comfort zone and be like, okay, I'm gonna just make it make almost like my enemy my friend. Like no one likes to feel uncomfortable, but like pushing yourself to continually make that a rhythm and like a muscle that you're using all exercising all the time. And so that's what I've done. And it's been a wild ride because I keep on pushing myself. It's like things I wouldn't naturally do, but you get more confidence for the next thing.

SPEAKER_03 29:09

So you mentioned that you kind of grew up as a wimp and now you're pushing yourself out of your comfort zone on things. And I happen to know because I know a lot of these stories and I know you as a person, that during this season your family was pursuing ministry. How did a lot of that fold over, had that crossover? How did working with alongsided ministry and trying to push yourself into new goals and really put yourself out there? How did those things work together?

SPEAKER_01 29:40

Well, they were different seasons. So we weren't in ministry anymore when I started my site. So that season had ended. But that was also a different type of grief because I think we got we worked with students, we went through a lot of transition and got really burnt out. And I think my husband was like ready to be done more than sooner than I was because I was like, you just want to see so many things that you hadn't.

SPEAKER_02 30:06

Because you and your husband were in ministry together.

SPEAKER_01 30:08

We were a tag team for yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:11

And what and and so for our audience, explain what it means when you s when about you guys were in ministry together. Can you explain more in detail what that meant?

SPEAKER_01 30:20

Yeah, so we were just like especially working with students. So it's like if you for me at least back in our era of doing it, it was highly relational. And so you we were be we would be going to like the concerts and the games and the you know, inviting students out for coffee.

SPEAKER_02 30:36

So something's gonna want like a young life.

SPEAKER_01 30:38

Maybe and it like so doing stuff with it. I it wouldn't be appropriate for my husband to hang out with the girls, so of course I was hanging out with the girl.

SPEAKER_02 30:44

It would not be it would not be appropriate.

SPEAKER_01 30:45

He would hang out with the guy. So it was like organizing all of those kind of things, and I think it was also hard for him because my personality is like I can't shut it off. So even on our off days, I was so horrible to him because I would be thinking of things like how can we improve? How can we do this? And it's like he just needed a break. But I just that's just kind of like my nature is to always be thinking like that way. So I think, yeah. So then you ended your ministry and said, Okay, we're going to pursue other paths, other careers, or so he he was ready to just he didn't know what he wanted to do, and so I think took a period of kind of just like transitioning roles and then took a sales job, and then we got laid off a month and a half later, and then took another sales job, and got laid off like two months later, and then came back here. So, like we had a lot of transition and a lot of a lot of stuff that way, which is tricky.

SPEAKER_03 31:42

In your story, I mean it sounds like there, I mean, there's definitely grief in family things, but grief of opportunities, grief of positions, grief of, you know, moving on maybe before you're ready or somebody's not ready, or you know, a layoff is you're probably definitely not ready. Your finances are probably definitely not ready. So grief has really fueled a lot of where you are now. So when we talk about November, and you say November is Novembering, I think your story, although super unique, uh going into the holidays without a loved one is unfortunately not a unique situation. So as you are kind of prepping into the holiday season now and your heart is Novembering, as you call it, um how would you encourage somebody in a similar boat of maybe going into their first or newly going into the holidays in this state season of grief?

SPEAKER_01 32:36

Yeah, so I talk about, I have a few articles about it be just because I've I've found that over the years people have found articles about like missing my mom as a way of how, you know, they're just Googling it and then they just need an outlet to be able to talk to you about it. But I talk about the year of first because, you know, for most people, like if you're friends with somebody and they lose someone and you're like, okay, I went to the funeral, I did the thing, but that person is experiencing their first birthdays, their first holidays, their first like it doesn't end at the funeral. Right.

SPEAKER_02 33:06

It ends for the people attending the funeral, but for the person who who it affects directly who lost that person, it it never ends.

SPEAKER_01 33:15

Right. And so I think it's great, I guess, if you can, if you have a friend you know who has that, acknowledging that, like, you know, like I know this is coming up, I know this is hard. Also, like it's so awkward. Like, don't like say you're in a family gathering and you just something comes up and you just need a moment. As someone who's observing that, like sometimes it can almost people can create more drama. Like they see someone maybe tear up and then they create this whole thing and they don't want it to be a spectacle. They don't want to, they're just trying to process it and don't want it to be a whole nother thing because then it makes it even more awkward. They just wanna. So I think knowing when you need some you need to give yourself a timeout. I think allowing yourself to still mourn, still grieve, and figure out ways to honor that person in a way that feels um feels special to you, like figuring out what that looks like, but also recognizing that it's just you know, those first moments are hard that especially they're especially tender the first year, but then it's a different type of grief as you add more years to it because I feel like the fear sets in and you're like, I just don't want to forget. I don't want to forget the the voice, all those things.

SPEAKER_03 34:30

So now you mentioned that your mom was a creative person and a caretaker and doing all the things. Now, are there adventures that she wanted that you still want to fulfill?

SPEAKER_01 34:42

Yes. So Hawaii is one, only because and that was also kind of a spark for me for the site. Um, so about two weeks before she died, she could not like she needed help going across the hallway to the bathroom. Um, but I remember asking her, I was like, is there anything left you still want to do? And she just said, you know, it's too late. Um I'd always wanted to go to Hawaii, but it's like too late because she was too frail. And um, so that's one that I would like to eventually get to, just in her her honor to like do that, you know.

SPEAKER_02 35:15

But was she able to exp she I mean, as a full-time caretaker of your brother and then parents, great her her parents or her her husband's parents. Was she actually able to go on anything? Was she able to do adventures and go on vacations?

SPEAKER_01 35:32

I feel like just like the seasons in between, there weren't enough windows, or you you also don't know what you don't know. So you don't know like when one parent is finally recovering that the next one's gonna be ill or whatever. But I'm I mean she did have great moments in between, but I just think like some of those bucket lists, or like we we did do a youth trip one time where we went to the gorge and she got to go repelling. And so that was just like she had so much fun with it. And even though her because later her cancer came back in her bones and on her arm, and so um, but just you know, the pictures that I have of her just like she's having a great time, just flying down the side of a cliff. So I think she had I think she had a lot of an adventurous spirit in her, but she just didn't unfortunately get all the opportunities to be able to really pursue.

SPEAKER_02 36:20

You did not have the adventurous spirit at all. Not so much. But it feels like you're almost doing this for your mom. Like you're living out these adventures for the ones that she couldn't do.

SPEAKER_01 36:30

Well, and just I I feel um my favorite thing is to share first-time experiences with other people because you really you bond with that person when you do something together for the first time. And so I in my love language is definitely quality time. So I think if I can also help other people to be like make a memory, like and figure out creative ways to do that. And even though it might be scary or it's unnamed, like that's the best part. Like that's why my husband and I try to go to new places together because we've been married 27 years. Like, we can't go to the same places over and over again. Like, we gotta have new experiences together because that makes it more interesting.

SPEAKER_02 37:11

So, our audience, because we always talk about like, you know, we're we're an audience of a certain age with you know, maybe experiencing some hot flashes. By the way, I don't that your office is hot. Maybe I'm wearing a sweater, but my gosh, I am like sweating in here, which is where we record our podcast.

SPEAKER_03 37:28

She is she's currently clothed, but I don't know for how long.

SPEAKER_02 37:31

I don't I do have a tank top on, so uh you might be watching me strip down to a tank top.

SPEAKER_03 37:36

Um we did not record this for video.

SPEAKER_02 37:40

Not yet. Um Nidra, what would you say to to us, to to women who are late 40s, 50s, 60s, who are who maybe think, it is it too late for me to to be adventurous? Is it too late for me to step out of my comfort zone or you know, or we're just doing the same thing over and over again and just don't know how to step out?

SPEAKER_01 38:03

Yeah, that was also another big motivator because when I was trying to find like other people who still wanted to do cool stuff, I couldn't find a lot of sites way back in the day to be like, I still want to do stuff even though I'm up despite being a mom, I still want to have fun and do stuff. So I think it's just it's the the power of the invitation. So like most people, I I mean, the first time I did Trapees, I think I got like, I don't know, 15 people, 15 women. I didn't know all of them super well, but I was like, let's go do the trapeze. Now, would someone have gone on their own to do the trapeze? No. But because it was like, oh, we're gonna do it as a group, it was like a collected thing, so we all did it together. So I think there's an invitation. If there's something we want to do, invite someone else to do it. They just probably wouldn't normally do it on their own. So just start to think that way all the time. Like, who can you invite and bring into an adventure with, which is so much fun.

SPEAKER_03 38:57

So would you say the power invent of invitation? Invitation? Words are hard today. Words are hard. Words are hard. Um, the power of invitation, would you say that increases boldness for others?

SPEAKER_01 39:08

Oh, definitely. I think they just because I mean, even if they yeah, because if they show up and it's like, especially if it's something that's out of their comfort zone, they're gonna be nervous. They're gonna but on the other side of it, it's like we all experienced it together, you know. So it's just like a fun bonding thing that you look back on.

SPEAKER_02 39:25

I I remember we did that very recently. Well, last year when it snowed, well, of course it was snowing during winter when we went to um tubing. We went tubing for and I went tubing for the very first time. That was my very first time tubing ever.

SPEAKER_01 39:38

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_02 39:40

Where did we go? Why can't we Perfect North Perfect North? Yes, I can't even think of the name. And we crashed so hard. Uh epic crash. Like people on top of me crash, bruise on my face.

SPEAKER_01 39:53

Yes, but I mean that's a good story. Like great. If you're gonna do it, you gotta have a good story.

SPEAKER_02 39:58

But it it was just simply an invitation, and I even remember saying I didn't even want to go. And that that night I didn't want to go, but because I had already said yes, and I didn't want to be the person to back out last minute and be like, oh, I don't I I went anyway. Man, I was so happy.

SPEAKER_01 40:14

Well, and I think that's a common thread too, is women, like we make up a lot of excuses. We can use our kids as excuses for why we don't do it, we can you you know, and we can be legitimately tired, but it also after a while, it's a lot easier to say no than to say yes, you know, and so that's true.

SPEAKER_03 40:31

If you have had someone who you are trying to encourage to take some sort of adventure, and I would also say you don't need to be adventure mom to invite someone to do something new or to join you on something, you don't have to have the years of experience of craziness that this woman has gone through. Um, anybody can do this. But let's say you have invited someone and they and you are getting the, well, I don't know, the kids, or I gotta, you know, I gotta take care of this, I gotta take care of that. If you know that somebody could use this some sort of time out of their norm, break out of their mold, and you're getting the excuses. How do you keep encouraging someone to step out of that comfort zone when you know as their friend, or even just sort of divine appointment of a stranger, like they could really use this?

SPEAKER_01 41:20

I think baby steps, like it could be as simple as try a new restaurant. Like both go to a restaurant that you've never been to before together, so you don't know what to anticipate. And you don't know what's on the menu, but that's not like a super, I mean it's not gonna end tragically. Like you're just gonna hopefully.

SPEAKER_03 41:35

Unless there's gluten on the menu for you.

SPEAKER_01 41:36

Right.

SPEAKER_03 41:37

Oh, that's true. I know I've become much more unfun.

SPEAKER_01 41:40

But I mean, you could do some baby step, like nothing, it doesn't have to be extreme. It's just something that's not in your normal orbit every single week. So it's it's just trying to, you know, you might have to invite someone a lot. And also, it can be hard because if you're inviting people a lot and they reject you a lot, I get it. Because it's like it can sometimes after a while you feel like, gosh, I don't know if I like this rejection after a while. So you can just continue to just, you know, continue to try, but also, you know, you sometimes you can give them a hard time and be like, hey, you always say no to me. What would you say yes to or what's on your list?

SPEAKER_02 42:13

I'm gonna be honest, I'm always the no person.

SPEAKER_01 42:16

So they have to convince you yes.

SPEAKER_02 42:18

Because man, there is something about when I walk in the door and I'm home where I want to take off my bra is the first thing I do, right? Take off my bra, put my sweatpants on, sweatshirt on, and then I'm I'm done. I'm I'm in. Like it I am the person who and my my friends who I've I've had good friends that I've been friends with since grade school, and some of them since preschool, that they will say, like, Casey's the one who backs out or always says no or doesn't respond. And we've been talking about for a while now, like we need to go on a girl's trip because we need to go on a girl's trip.

SPEAKER_01 42:51

We but we say it a lot and we never you have to have like an organizer in your group. You have to have one person who's like the person who's like, we're going on this date. Give me your money, we're gonna be here on this time, and like here's what's gonna happen.

SPEAKER_02 43:04

And one that did happen, I don't know if you guys know have you seen like the strings concert, strings and candles. Oh yeah. Oh, I've seen a lot of people posting about that. They're really cool. They are so cool. We went to the the hip hop one with Snoop Dogg and I've been to that one. It's it was so but it was the same thing. My my um my friend, she just went ahead and said, I bought these tickets, who's coming? And we just been to her money and we went. And it was so much fun. So that's your person.

SPEAKER_01 43:28

Okay, you already know. Yeah that's your organizer. That person is the person who's like, just give her your money and she's gonna make you do fun things, and it's good.

SPEAKER_02 43:37

So you have to have that.

SPEAKER_03 43:38

But also as a non organizer.

SPEAKER_02 43:43

You just like tell me, I'll show up. You just tell me when wear and I'll show up and I'll give you the money.

SPEAKER_03 43:48

So this is a really valid point because one of the things that you know I have I feel bad because Nidra will of often say when she talks about our adventures that, you know, I just get to abide by her perks. Yes. I feel guilty every time she says it. Like, oh don't feel guilty. No, no, no, no. It's but it's it's just the me thing of like, oh, well, what do I bring to the friendship if I don't bring, you know, these kinds of perks? So as someone who I'm not saying everybody is in the same boat that you are, but if let's say you are the outgoing person, you're trying to get somebody out, and you're you're pushing somebody out of their comfort zone, they're getting there, they're starting to say yes, because you have made me so much more of a yes person. And I am so grateful for you teaching me that spontaneity is even possible as a mom, a wife, just busy random schedules. She has had me out of my pajamas and downtown, like dressed to the nines within 45 minutes on last-minute invitations. Um But what could what would as the inviter, the encourager, what could I do to be a help you to feel like you're not the one bearing all the burden of all the details? What is somebody like me who's just coming along for the ride, how can we make that better for you, who's the encourager, to kind of balance that out?

SPEAKER_01 45:04

Well, I think a big part of it's just saying yes, like because you want to share the experiences with others. So I think having a yes person is always easier than uh convincing somebody.

SPEAKER_02 45:15

Because you you probably and maybe I'm wrong, but people who are organizers like they thrive and love uh planning and organizing, and that is something that fills them and they just want somebody to come along and enjoy.

SPEAKER_01 45:28

But I also have a spontaneous side. So honestly, if things are too far in advance, like because I have this also this FOMO thing of like, if I lock in this thing, what if something else comes up? Because the nature of what I do, a lot of times random things come up and then you're like, oh no, I'm conflicted. But I think yeah, you just wanna it's it's just with intention. I think it's like you have to decide to make an effort, even though it's hard. And like the and again, it's a muscle you're using. So the more you're pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, the more you're gonna be able to be open to say yes to the next thing.

SPEAKER_03 46:06

So the lesson for the person who may be the no person is when somebody is inviting you, say yes, you are not burdening them. They are excited, they want you to be a part of it, and there is joy gonna be on the other side of that scary yes.

SPEAKER_01 46:20

And no, they can only take so much rejection. So if you say no every single time, or you at the last minute you no-show on them, yeah, and they've already made the plans, then it's like, well, who are you gonna find at the 11th hour to fill that spot? Which is also frustrating.

SPEAKER_02 46:34

And I will say every time that I said yes and and did go at the end of it, I'm like, man, that was so worth it.

SPEAKER_01 46:42

Right. And that and that's the thing, you have to kind of go like this is what I need. I don't want to do it in this moment, but it's probably something I need. And they see it. They they see that in me that I need to do that on the other side of it.

SPEAKER_02 46:53

So are your are your boys adventurous too?

SPEAKER_01 46:57

Uh they I they've done, I mean, my youngest did the trapeze when he was like four years old. So like I've had him do crazy adventures like The Louge and um, I don't know, like ziplining a ton. So they I would say my youngest one is probably more of a traveler. My oldest one, once he gets to wherever we're going, but it's not like I feel like my younger one is more open to saying yes right away.

SPEAKER_02 47:21

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 47:22

And then my and then once I convince my oldest one, I'm like, this is gonna be amazing, you don't know what you don't know, and we get him there. Then he's like, Oh yeah, that's cool.

SPEAKER_03 47:29

Also, can I just say that they have grown up with this person who's provided these incredible, amazing opportunities that they probably didn't know were not normal. So I I would say that um they may even look back one day of things that they have passed over or want to try in the future when they have their own households and families and being like, wow, my mom was a hustler.

SPEAKER_01 47:54

I don't think they realize how expensive stuff is. So I have said like, or they might mean they probably want me to do the grandma edition, like once they have kids, so that way I can just keep on. Keep on keeping on. Yeah. You get to take you get to take the leave.

SPEAKER_03 48:06

Okay, well, you know, adventure mom, adventure grandma someday, way, way in the future.

SPEAKER_01 48:11

Yeah, way, way. We're gonna keep that one off.

SPEAKER_03 48:14

So in our show notes, we are going to link uh Nidra's site along with the specific articles that she mentioned about dealing with grief. And thank you for being an incredible first guest. And also I love your story.

unknown 48:27

Thanks.

SPEAKER_03 48:28

Just an incredible friend. I am a better person being your friend. Um, you have taught me, like I said, when I say being a yes person, she's pulled me so far out of my comfort zone that I don't even think you could stick me back to that person I used to be.

SPEAKER_02 48:41

I'm just really excited to be asked to go on these adventures so I can say yes.

SPEAKER_01 48:46

Trio adventure coming up, so we'll figure out. And it's exciting for me because I get to see your god dream, like knowing behind the scenes for years, like when you know someone when you know something, someone's god dream, and then you're you get to see it and well now be a part of it. It's really exciting. It is. And now you're gonna have to tell us what's on your list because then we're gonna have to case.

SPEAKER_02 49:08

I have to think about I have to think about my list. I am such a beach girl, like that's where I always I always go to the beach, but m my youngest and actually I think all of my children are now want to they want to go to um camping. They want they want to go out west. And which I think sounds horrendous and amazing at the same time, but I would never be able to plan that. That's like so much on me to plan. So I would have to find someone to help me plan like how to do all of those things. But I don't know yet. I have to think I would have to think on that.

SPEAKER_03 49:42

I have to think on that one. Well, um, we are gonna take your suggestions of where Casey should go next. What can we pull her so far out of her comfort zone? She's giving me the look. I've got some ideas. So she's got ideas. Stay tuned. Thanks for joining us. Absolutely, thank you. All right, have a great week. Do they eat in front of you? You put it on the glove, and then the falcon's like. What if it's legal?

SPEAKER_02 50:16

How do you keep a live mic on your own?

SPEAKER_03 50:19

I don't know, but what you need to know about me is I am terrified of rodents, like all of them. Which I did not know when I took her on the city. And this isn't something I would like like share right away, you know. I I mean I'm definitely, definitely afraid. Why would you be around me? Why would I think someone had a satcha full of rats? Okay. No, maybe not rats, mice. I don't know. It's definitely rodent. None of them were alive. We didn't know, but we didn't know. So it was like little bones. So I think we just found our blooper guy. At any rate, you know, a dead chick is just as disturbing to me as a dead mouse.