This Is Kinda Preachy: Serious Faith, Unserious Women

SPEAKER_01 0:05

Hello and welcome to Kind of Preachy season three. Season three part two because we actually recorded last week.

SPEAKER_00 0:13

Actually, yeah, it was last week. It was last week. It was last Labor Day. So we were attempting to come back last week. We we did.

SPEAKER_01 0:21

We gave it a good effort. We did. We gave it the good college try. And then we're like, hey, maybe we were not our our best. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 0:28

Well, one, it was 35 minutes long, which is not like us.

SPEAKER_01 0:35

No, no, no, no. No, no, it was not, it was not a normal. Yeah, it was not a normal. I to be fair, and you guys will see this now. We have a new logo. We do. We took some promo pictures, and by mean we took promo pictures, I mean we took promo pictures of ourselves.

SPEAKER_00 0:50

It was stuff with a little remote. Yes, yes. And so out of the hundreds of pictures that you took, with multiple outfits, I mean we came prepared. That we did. There is probably a handful. Our outfits were prepared, our faces were not. But I think you might have to show some people like the worst shots. Or I mean I'm not gonna call them the worst. I just money.

SPEAKER_02 1:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:13

Well, the the best part was she was like, okay, she's trying to direct me, and I'm the one holding the remote.

SPEAKER_00 1:19

And I'm like, my mind, I know how to do it. Truly, truly spherical.

SPEAKER_01 1:23

And she's like, I'm looking at you because you are supposed to be taking the picture. I was like, um, I'm just engaging with her. And she's like, Are you taking a picture? Like, no, I'm just talking to you. Anyway, you're gonna see some of them. Um, but overall, you will see the best one.

SPEAKER_00 1:35

Yes, we have we have one out, which is my five. It's good, it's great. But I also love the one where my head my heavens are.

SPEAKER_01 1:42

You're gonna see all of them eventually. Maybe not all of them, but I mean you'll see a good bulk of them. But at any rate, if this is your first time that you have checked in with us, my name is Steph. I'm Casey Bryant. So if this is your very first time tuning in to us for season three, the smallest of introductions, I being Steph, I've got three kids ranging from eighth grade to college grad. My oldest is getting married in December. And I've been married for 24 years, I believe. Very exciting. Yeah, very exciting. So exciting times happening around my house. And by the way, the wedding is in December. Oh, I'm super excited. Yeah. Six month engagement. So we are I like the short engagement. I'm I'm a fan of it. We are full speed ahead on things. So that is like the tip of the iceberg with my family. And as always, if you're brand new and you're like, what the heck is kind of preachy? It is because both Casey and I come from a ministry background. We served in different churches in different times and worked at different worked together, we volunteered together. Well, well, I volunteered under her leadership. Yes. I've worked in other churches. And now we both kind of came at a point in our lives where one of these things that clicked on us was that ministry doesn't always have to be inside the building.

SPEAKER_00 3:01

It does not. I'm actually finding out more that it's happening outside the building. Yeah. So, Casey, quick in charge of who you are. Casey married for maybe 24 years this October. Three kids, seventh grade, two in college. Once seniors are getting ready to graduate, she is actually interviewing for UK's University of Kentucky's dental school today. And tomorrow she's got a two-day, two-day interview. Very excited. She's very nervous, or we're praying hard for her. And that it goes well. And my my son is a sophomore, and then of course, our seventh grader. Sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 3:39

Yes. So, I mean, I think one of the things that connected Casey and I really quick to one another is that we had a similar spread of children.

SPEAKER_00 3:48

We do, which is kind of crazy. Yeah, we've got two girls and a boy.

SPEAKER_01 3:53

Yeah. And so our babies are girls, our oldest are both girls. We have these middle sons, and we both have a huge heart for Jesus. Alongside that, we have a huge heart for people. Correct. And one of the massive reasons that we wanted this podcast to exist is because we were both in, we've both been in, or when we started, we're in kind of weird transitional seasons. Now here's what we have learned these transition seasons just transition to new transition seasons.

SPEAKER_00 4:22

I know it's really never, you think you're in a finally like, okay, I'm settled, everything's great, and here comes transition again.

unknown 4:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:30

And that's more so happening for you, possibly, Chris.

SPEAKER_01 4:33

I well, I mean, this is just the way these things happen. But, you know, I wanted to give just kind of that small intro to kind of who we are, what we stand for. Because if you start at season one, you probably knew us from the beginning. Yes. And you probably knew us personally. A lot of people who are finding us now, they don't know who we are. So just a short recap. So you could start here and then you can get to know us in old episodes if you want to. I personally think they're all great. But there are some better than those. Some that are you can tell when we were in our fields. And I'm not promising we won't be in our fields again.

SPEAKER_00 5:07

Oh, the the first season I think got cried almost every single episode. Transitions. It happens.

SPEAKER_01 5:12

It happens. That's part of life. But I think one of the things that we touch on a lot is understanding that in these transitions, sometimes they are caused by feeling like you don't know your place. Feeling rejected. Yeah. Lots of things. You don't know your place in life. You don't know your place in the church. You don't know your where you are in your faith. There are lots of things, and I can be fully confident my faith in one day, and something can absolutely shake me. Yeah, rock and roll. And then I and then I start to falter. So what we are saying is that we understand all these places. We've been all these places. It's not the first time, it's not the last time. So no matter where you are in this, this is a welcome seat for you. We want to consider ourselves to you an extension of this kind of like faith bestie. Oh, I like how you said that. Because I I don't know if you have the right people in your life to ask these questions to, or if you feel like are we talking like hard questions? I'm I'll talk about art questions. Or just questions general. Okay. I mean, I know what's the purpose of our friendship that I could text you at any given time in the last 10 years and say, I love Jesus, but today sucks and I'm really mad at him. Of course. And that would be something that generally I don't know if there was a ton of people in my life that I could say, dang, I I'm sad and I don't get it. And I know there's a purpose and there's a plan, but I'm not feeling it today.

SPEAKER_00 6:43

I think somebody who can just sit with you, not try to solve the problem, not try to pray it away, which of course all the things we should pray, but someone who's willing to sit in the mud and be like, okay, I feel you.

SPEAKER_01 6:55

I love you.

unknown 6:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:57

And yeah, so wherever you are in that journey, if you are brand new, if you've been at forever, if you are in a season of not necessarily fitting into the church or have experience and church hurt, all of these things can coexist. And you can still love and you can still love Jesus. And so our major takeaway that we want from you every single week is we can sit down, we can have fun, we can be a little self-deprecating. Which we are sometimes to a fault, but but where we meet you is in a place of a lot of humor, but no shame. Ever. 100%. And sometimes we repeat words like 100% freaking.

SPEAKER_00 7:35

It's the first time I've said it. I know. First time I said it. I know. You had to point it out, stuff. Oh well, it's regrettable.

SPEAKER_01 7:44

I have got my Costco cup of Diet Coke today.

SPEAKER_00 7:48

You did. You said you might go into church and you it really happened. What how are you drinking that without a straw?

SPEAKER_01 7:55

Because the straws are not by the actual drinks. It's I don't know if you're a Costco's or like this, but they have switched to Coke products, which I am in full support of. Yes. I caught myself. I know, I know. So don't make that a drinking game, friends.

SPEAKER_00 8:11

I hate okay, I don't want to say hate. That is such a bad word. But if I'm at a restaurant and I say, Can I have a Diet Coke? and someone says Diet Pepsi, I say, I'll take a water.

SPEAKER_01 8:22

Yes. There is no other option. There is no other option. I'm very clearly on the the coke side of things. However, would you like to sponsor us?

SPEAKER_00 8:32

Wouldn't it be amazing to get just truckloads of Diet Coke?

SPEAKER_02 8:37

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 8:38

I would why I would wear Diet Coke merch.

SPEAKER_01 8:42

I I do have Diet Coke merch. Oh no, you don't. I do. I have a hat. I have a hat that says Diet Coke. I love Diet Coke. And then I wear it proudly. As you should wear it proudly. Yeah. Yeah. Badge of honor, it's what I stand for. I love Jesus and Diet Coke.

SPEAKER_00 8:56

In that order.

SPEAKER_01 8:58

And then our families. I'm just kidding, families. Now Diet Coke helps me run, and I just don't feel like there's shame in that. It really does. I mean, whatever you need. Whatever you need. So, okay, let's uh small recap of like we had did a few summer episodes, as in like two, where we kind of gave you some brief updates where we told you about the wedding, what's going on? What kind of like touched on, you know, things that were, you know, happening. Where are we at now? Before we get into all the things, like I know that Faith broke her finger.

SPEAKER_00 9:31

Faith broke her finger at a football game. Yeah. We're we're so close to having the cast off, only three weeks. Only it was only a cast on for three weeks. So we're we're a little over halfway done. Okay, perfect.

SPEAKER_01 9:43

And do you want to admit to our friends?

SPEAKER_00 9:46

Yes, I told her to suck it up because I said that your finger wasn't broken, and everyone yelled at me. And I ended up going to the orthopedic, and they confirmed it was broken. She glacked, she proudly tells everyone that her mom made her cheer on it for two days. Second child I've done that with you, by the way.

SPEAKER_01 10:08

You're not alone. I mean, my mom did it with me. I broke my wrist when I was a sophomore in high school. And I I it never swelled, it never bruised, but was in a lot of pain. I tell her the next morning I go to wash my hair, and I'm like, I can't wash my hair. Uh like it hurts that bad. So I'm like, I think you need to take me to the hospital. Like, I think it's broken. And she's looking at it, she's like, it's not broken. And to which she said, if I take you to the ER, it better be. If it's not already broken, I will break it myself. Well, because it's so expensive and I know, and I and as a mom, I totally get that now. Now I understand. That's why I'm like, I'm not gonna do it. Totally get it. That being said, they come, they do the x-rays and that kind of stuff. They're like, okay, it's broken. And like, see, mom, you don't have to break it for me now. Oh she is mortified, beyond mortified. She was like, Do you want CPS online games? No. She is looking and the doctor looks at her and she's like, She's kidding.

SPEAKER_00 11:10

I will say the uh because I posted the picture and saying, whoops, you know, kind of a kind of a social media post. The amount of moms and dads who said, Oh, I did the same thing. And my favorite was one of somebody who was a few years older than me, who I who I grew up with, her dad was a doctor. I think he might have been an orthopedic, I can't remember exactly. And she had a broken bone for weeks. Oh no. And finally, and he said she was fine, she was fine. I'm like, that makes me feel so much better about myself. But sometimes, you know, medical field, we are people in the medical field, because my sister's also a nurse practitioner, will say that you're fine. Rub some dirt on it. Well, also, it's I think it's our generation.

SPEAKER_01 11:54

Uh yeah. Well, okay, so my husband had major shoulder surgery back in June. Yeah. And it was they reattached his bicep. They reattached it in a new place. They fixed his labrum, and when they went in there, they also found out he had a tear in his rotator cuff. Did not know that prior. Did not know it prior in the middle of surgery. Yes. Now his pain level would have told you that something else was going on. It was just suck it up. Well, the doctor was kind of like, I guess we can do the surgery. Like, I'm not necessarily seeing, like, we could probably wait on this, we can try some physical therapy. And he was like, My arm is like hanging out of my socket. I don't know what, I don't know what to tell you. Like, this needs to be fixed. In fact, insurance even denied it based on the original. Yeah. So we kind of went back and forth. And so then his doctor was like, Okay, like if you're telling me you're in this much pain, we need to push for the surgery, which they did, and we were so blessed to be able to have the original surgery date. Also being said, surgery, he's in surgery, and like they said, Oh, it should probably like take 45 to 50 minutes. And they didn't come out for almost 90. So at that point, I knew, like, okay, this might be a little more uh-huh intense than what it was. When the doctor came out and he was like, now his pain level makes sense to me and what we could see when we went in. Okay. So he was just not whining to be whiny. He was not whining to be whiny. The humorous part of this is he gets all healed up. I have two coworkers, like work in a very small office. Yes. One had a knee surgery, and then a week later, my my next coworker, there's only three of us in this department, had emergency gallbladder surgery. Oh, wow. And so they were both out. I was kind of running solo for a little bit. I made a joke to my boss of that I was jealous of their time off. Be careful what you say. Listen to this. I, in my jokester mood, go in there and say, hey, just FYI. They're all gonna be back towards the end of September, which is great because my surgery is not scheduled until first week of October. He puts his hands in his head and he's like, Oh my gosh, what is wrong with you now? And I was like, nothing. I just want to see your face. Like I'm funny. And so then he starts, he's, you know, he's laughing, we're all laughing. I kid you not. That weekend, I started having intense shoulder pain that has not stopped.

SPEAKER_00 14:24

So have you figured out what it is?

SPEAKER_01 14:27

I'm under the working chat GPT theory that I have.

SPEAKER_00 14:30

Because Chat GPT is definitely it's I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 14:34

It's better than WebMD. I mean, I don't think I it's true. I am on the working theory that I might have frozen shoulder. Okay. Which apparently is a very perimenopausal common issue, which I know it sounds like it wouldn't, but there's I know my face just made a really weird face.

SPEAKER_00 14:50

I've never heard that yet.

SPEAKER_01 14:53

I don't know. I am to the point, but I But I mean if Chat GPT said it. I don't, I'm not listening I don't consider it the boss. But then I looked up frozen shoulder and all these other things. And it does look like it could be. Yeah. But here are a list of things that I can no longer do without excruciating pain.

SPEAKER_00 15:12

How long has this been going on? One can I ask?

SPEAKER_01 15:14

A month.

SPEAKER_00 15:15

Oh my gosh. Okay, why can't you do it?

SPEAKER_01 15:18

So put a bra on. Hooking, unhooking, major issue. I naturally will find, I don't know if uh what kind of a sleeper you are, but I like to put my hand above my head. I don't I don't start out that way, just that's how I wake up. That's just kind of like I kind of get in frog position. And this should uh like I kind of like sit like cross-legged when you sleep on your back?

SPEAKER_00 15:48

Freak of nature. I don't know. That is not a normal position to sleep in. Okay, maybe I don't I feel like you're taking up a ton of space.

SPEAKER_01 15:58

Not as much as my husband. But we did get a king-sized bed, so maybe I am taking a ton of space. Oh no. Yes, we've king-sized bed in our household is necessary. Yes. Well, I also like sometimes like go to my side. Anyway, at any purpose, but I yeah, I got one of those two. That's really more of the division, like to my husband. Like, don't touch me while I sleep. He loves it. No, he doesn't. He's like slides, he's like, I'd like to touch you. All that things said. I I cannot put my seatbelt on. Oh, I don't, I mean, I'm normally a grab behind me and grab the seatbelt.

SPEAKER_00 16:35

So when you're a passenger, you're fine.

SPEAKER_01 16:38

Passenger, you're fine. So now it's like I'm trying to put my seatbelt on by like reaching. I also have a very bad habit of like I have pulled out of my driveway before I put my seatbelt on. And so then I'm like, I can't do it. I do the same thing. And I don't know why. I do not know why I do that. And then I hear the beeping and I'm like, oh yeah. Whoops, go. I can get it on before my my car beeps violently if I go too far without it. That being said, I am almost to the point where I feel like I need medical intervention.

SPEAKER_00 17:08

If it's been a month, it's time.

SPEAKER_01 17:10

I know.

SPEAKER_00 17:10

It's time. At least go see a physical therapist at the very right. But I guess you should probably go see the orthopedia first and just see what they say. I know. And they're gonna take a picture and and an x-ray is gonna do nothing because most likely it's muscle, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:26

Well, the truth is, is I need a battery of doctors' visits. Oh. There are certain visits of certain doctors I have been avoiding neglecting for a bit.

SPEAKER_00 17:40

I have to I I made my appointment. I go in October. So next month I go to the OB.

SPEAKER_01 17:45

Oh, so yeah, that's that's that's that'd be the one I'm I have not, I'm behind. I'm behind. But I know it's important.

SPEAKER_00 17:53

So again, we do. It is very important, especially when we're in this this stage of our life. And to find the right one.

unknown 18:01

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 18:01

To find the right one who's going to listen, who's going to understand, you know, what perimenopause, what are hormones, all of that, what's going on.

SPEAKER_01 18:08

So you'll have to tell me if you like your doctor because I need to find a new one.

SPEAKER_00 18:13

This is I switched, it's all their same practice, multiple doctors, and for a while I was seeing the male doctors, and then I somehow I she came, I saw her once and I loved her.

SPEAKER_01 18:26

I'm not anti-male doctor, but I kind of feel like they need to know. Now I'm like, I just feel like somebody who has kind of walked through this because I'm not in the like having baby stages anymore.

SPEAKER_00 18:39

No. And that's why like the first time I went to the OB post-children, like I'm not going, I felt kind of weird. Yeah. Because I'm like, I'm not here for babies anymore. I'm just here for just normal checkups. And you're like, should I still be going for?

SPEAKER_01 18:54

We know that we should. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 18:55

We know that we should, but it I think it is easier of but like the once a year thing that you always did is now like once because they don't come every two years ago.

SPEAKER_01 19:05

They don't cover the pap smears as often because it used to be they cover them every year and now they don't. But now we're of the age we should be getting mammograms every year, which I do. Which I am a year behind on that too. Uh but you could my regular doctor was able to say that.

SPEAKER_00 19:21

Mines come back always fine. Other than it says I have dense tissue. Okay. Which means that you should probably go get another scan. I don't. I don't. It's fine. Do as we say, not as we do. And listen, if you're coming there for medical advice, that's not recommended. It doesn't say you have to. So yeah. Because I know it's gonna cost me money. Like it was a recommendation.

unknown 19:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:45

I know it's gonna cost me money, so I'm not gonna do it.

SPEAKER_01 19:48

Yeah. Well, at any rate, I'm of the I know I need to go do it. Go and do it. But in the meantime, I'm just trying to when we started this podcast a year ago, I we have both lost a tremendous amount of weight.

SPEAKER_00 20:06

I'm 46 pounds for me.

SPEAKER_01 20:07

I'm at 80, around 80. So freaking amazing. And the first thing I said to Casey when she walked in is what kind of industrial underwear and jeans she had on because she looks so good. I'm like, So if we're sitting down, I'm like, how are you holding that in?

SPEAKER_00 20:25

Not not because not because we we both have the same issue where we have I don't want to, there's so many names for it. The overhang, the muffin top, the apron. Apron, yeah. Like there's so and I'm sure you guys can tell us other names that people call it for. And when I'm like looking in the mirror and I'm looking straight on, I'm fine. It's the minute that I turn to the side and I and then I see it. And then I think I hate it. I know. Like to the point where I'm debating, is it worth going in debt for plastic surgery? Because that's how much I hate it. Oh. And it's not. It's not. It's not. Do I want to do it? Yes, so badly. But I just want to do it.

SPEAKER_01 21:08

My husband still here keeps saying my husband still loves me. Just send me your links of industrial underwear because I am going in debt over a wedding and plastic surgery is not on the rise end.

SPEAKER_00 21:17

And I I do not like spanx because spangs are not comfortable for me to wear at all. And every time, like they roll at the top. So like sitting, like if you're standing, they're great. You know, if you're standing and walking, they're great. The minute you try to sit down or it's not a good thing.

SPEAKER_01 21:42

Because you're not wearing Spanx every day to the office, right? Correct. You're not wearing Spanx like out with like if you're having coffee. You know what I mean? You're wearing Spanx when you are like, I need to look good and these things need to be smoothed out. Yes. And there's nothing worse than sitting down and all of a sudden you feel and it's like the roll. Down, it's like, I'm sorry, did my muffin top just muffin top? Did my can of biscuits explode?

SPEAKER_00 22:05

Or you have the whole one big chunk just stick out where it looks like you just all of a sudden you sat down and now you're nine months pregnant.

SPEAKER_01 22:13

Oh, it's yeah, it's the worst. So I'm gonna need someone to invent something that is very comfortable, is comfortable, breathable. Um if I could be like really picky, could you make it so I don't have to break a sweat to get in them?

SPEAKER_00 22:29

Yes, and for them to be cute and not like the grandma undies.

SPEAKER_01 22:34

Oh, that would be it would be nice if they're cute. I wasn't even thinking about that. But I would like if we're getting ready, like I don't know about you, but if when I get into Spanx, I send my husband out of the room. Oh, yes. You don't need to see that. You don't need to see the architecture that it takes to get on because I am breaking a sweat. I am breaking it. You're on my back in my bed.

SPEAKER_00 22:58

Do you do that? Do you like lay down and you're like, oh my gosh, I'm getting them up and you're like, okay, got them on. And then I gotta go buy the air conditioner because we have we don't have central air upstairs, so we have window units, and turn it on and just sit there, like, okay, I gotta fan myself. Oh, that'll be rough. Because it is, oh, it is rough. It is definitely rough. Oh goodness. I didn't even think about that first world problem, but that's rough. It's a first world problem. And spanks are not breathable. So the minute you start sweating, you're done. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:29

You're done. I get it. So I'm gonna be one of you inventors, and I you know what, I do believe that somebody listen here is smart enough to figure that out.

SPEAKER_00 23:36

I believe the product is probably out there, we just don't know about it. Or we can't afford it. Or we can't we can't afford it. I mean, that very well may be the case. So I I'm I'm leaning on jeans that fit better. Even though these jeans that I'm wearing that you complimented me on are actually too big on me, because we've talked about that. Yeah, I'm just not ready to buy. I get it. I don't want to buy new clothes yet.

SPEAKER_01 24:01

I think I'm uh all in the done phase of it. So you're ready to purchase. I some stuff still fits, it's just not quite as flattering. And I have bought smaller things, to which I'm like, it does make me feel like more.

SPEAKER_02 24:15

Yes, you can.

SPEAKER_01 24:17

But I gotta tell you, I don't know if I should admit this, but I did buy a pair of jeans. And when I was in Marshalls, I was like, these look so good on me. Oh, and I'm like, Marshalls? Man, this is I'm I'm feeling quite foxy in the moment. I literally even took pictures in the dressing room. No, you did not. Yes, I did because I was like, I feel incredible. I wear them to work, and I was convinced all day that I had the world's biggest camel toe from them. I was like, what happened in between Friday when I rock these and Monday when I wore them? But I'm like, what grew here? Because this is not how I felt in the dressing room.

SPEAKER_00 25:00

That's with me and leggings, especially, especially when I'm working out. I'm like, what? Jesus peats.

SPEAKER_01 25:06

Admittedly, my daughter, Elena, works with me. And so she's in another department, but we're in a small building. I walked over there and I was like, how bad is it? Just just laying on, how bad is this? And she's like, I don't see it at all. I'm like, but I can feel it. I can feel it creeping up. I mean, what it should have. I have not worn them since. Um it's a bummer. I well, I just I feel like maybe like maybe I was maybe I just should have sized up one. Maybe you like because it's not about a number. You get excited about fitting in a number. Yes. And it should never be about a number. It should be about what you feel good in.

SPEAKER_00 25:42

True, because these are size 14, the pants that I'm wearing, which I'm not a size 14 anymore.

SPEAKER_01 25:47

And I can tell you that I can fit into, depending on the things, yeah, what they are, I can fit anywhere between an extra small and an extra, extra large, still.

SPEAKER_00 26:00

Still. It honestly depends on the clothing, the brand, all of it. Yeah. And and when we say, when you hear women say, you know, don't look at size, look how does it make you feel? You're oh no, no, no. I'm like, no, it really is. Oh, 100%.

SPEAKER_01 26:16

It's 100%. Uh this shirt is a this is a this is a small. It looks huge on me. Looks huge on me. And these pants are a large. See? So it doesn't matter. Wear what makes you feel good. And that's that. The problem is when you have to shop online and you have to declare a size. Oh, I know.

SPEAKER_00 26:32

And it just it's But don't you look at the reviews to seeing I always look at reviews to see does this run small, does it run big? How close is it to the actual size?

SPEAKER_01 26:42

Yeah, and then I was shopping at something, it was like, put your put your measurements in, and I and I really confused it. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:52

You did not account for that's going on here. I think that's the biggest issue, is is it's it's the apron because once you get up to my my stump mic where my belly where my waist is, that is small, but everything else, because of that apron, it just makes it hard to find clothing that fits well.

SPEAKER_01 27:13

Well, I we just went through the find the mother of the bride dress, and I probably went through maybe like 20 different dresses before I found the one.

SPEAKER_00 27:23

And what made me feel better was more fitted up top, but having some flow from down, you know, from the bus down, because I was like, And as someone who's seen she sent me a picture, Steph sent me a picture of it. Stunning. You look so good in that dress.

SPEAKER_01 27:44

Truly, I had put some options of things I tried on, some that were never going to be an option, some where I was actually considering. I put them in my Instagram stories, and people came in hot. They came in hot with the opinions. Yeah. And so when I thought you asked people for their I know they're going to give it. And so when I thought I found the one, I sent it to Elena because it mattered to me what she thought. And I actually was shopping. This was the first time I just shopped with my husband because he had way more opinions than we've talked. If you go back and listen to our the end of last season, we talked about how my husband's big wedding opinions. He sure does. But did not forgive him. I came out in this dress and he was like, that's the one. I sent it to Elena, I sent it to my mom, which didn't answer because she was on a cruise at the time. She came back and she chimed in. And so I bought it, and then I was like, I need to know what my people think. Yeah. And I have, there's probably six opinions that I was like, there are my family and maybe four women that I'm like, they will tell me the truth. And I cared about what they thought. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:54

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 28:54

And all four women outside of my family came back and said, that's the one. Oh, a hundred percent. So I was like, okay. I had not in all the pictures that I posted, there was not anything close to a uniqueness.

SPEAKER_00 29:09

And I don't want to share anything because I it should be a not a reveal to the bride reveal, but it is still something that you should be able to hold back in. I yes. But man, I can't wait till after the wedding and you should and the pictures come out.

SPEAKER_01 29:24

Yeah, it is what it is. You have to share. You're gonna have to share the pics. I know. I thought about sharing some of the other ones, but then people have big opinions.

SPEAKER_00 29:32

Yeah, there are there are real big opinions. They're real in People have big opinions also when you when you posted your your suit.

unknown 29:40

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00 29:41

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 29:42

A couple weeks ago, or earlier the summer, we're gonna be able to do that.

SPEAKER_00 29:44

When I say suit, I mean a bathing suit, which was very bold and great of you to post a picture of you.

SPEAKER_01 29:51

Yeah, so the creepy men on Facebook found that real so quickly. And it just became blocking dudes until Inappropriate it stopped. Inappropriate comments that were made. It's okay. Document, you can't see them now because we we blocked them pretty fast. But I was like, And I could not believe how quickly I know it's it, you know, it's funny is because sometimes I view like the podcasts and the socials for the podcast as like our secret circle. True. And so we say things on here that uh I think the majority of the problem wouldn't say or post.

SPEAKER_00 30:23

Yeah. And not thinking that creepy old men are gonna.

SPEAKER_01 30:26

I know, I just think this is our this is our creepy.

SPEAKER_00 30:27

I don't know if they're old men, but in my mind I always just say creepy old men. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:31

It is what it is. It's I think it's an old thing to think that you can get away with saying that kind of garbage. So maybe you're not old in age, but it's like you can't get away with talking like that anymore.

SPEAKER_00 30:42

No, you really can't. As you should have never have been able to, but you're talking about what they said to you about you on or maybe calling people creepy old men.

SPEAKER_01 30:51

Oh, the creepy old men.

SPEAKER_00 30:52

I mean, they should have never been able to say anything. No, they should not. But they they they do not care. Should we talk about creepy men for just a minute? Oh, oh.

SPEAKER_01 31:01

I know. I know where you're going with this. Okay. Did you all watch The Death of the Pastor's Wife?

SPEAKER_00 31:08

Well, I did after you told me about it. Well, you posted about it on our social.

SPEAKER_01 31:12

Oh, on our social. I watched it on a Friday, and then I stewed. I absolutely stewed about it.

SPEAKER_00 31:19

I knew you were stewing when all of a sudden I popped up new post, and it is you wrote. It's me. I wrote a which a novella.

SPEAKER_01 31:28

A small novel. All of the things I was mad about. You can go back and look at it if you watched it and you watched numbers.

SPEAKER_00 31:36

And then Steph goes, I hope you don't mind that I did this. I know.

SPEAKER_01 31:39

I I never mind. And I didn't. I was like, I didn't ask for permission.

SPEAKER_00 31:43

I was like, most post now. I'm like, okay, well, now I need to watch it. And it is so, it's so bingeable because it's only three episodes. They're very they go by so, so quick. And each episode you get more and more furious. Like, I like my blood was boiling. I I cannot even begin to express how angry I am at this man who he's saying he's a he's a pastor, which is no, there is no way. So, yeah, yeah, even though he might be ordained or whatever, he might have the degree, I the you know, he might have a theology degree.

SPEAKER_01 32:28

I I don't think I'm not gonna go into all the things that he did wrong. So because there were so many, but there was something that irritated me even more than just who he was as a man, and it was just the church response of them locally, and how he led his church, yeah, and and just blindly following, which I understand how people get into that.

SPEAKER_00 32:58

I guess when you believe your leader so much, when you have faith in them, and and let's be honest, there is nobody in this world who is perfect. So everybody makes mistakes. How you own up to your mistakes and how you grow and learn is is in my mind, are you a person who is truly following Jesus? Are you not? And this man is not following Jesus.

SPEAKER_01 33:22

And one of the things that he did was he would kind of sneak things into he would use scripture to twist he would twist scripture into things where it did not belong. And really the and I know that we saw tiny portions of it. Yeah, but when But to justify his own sin. Yes. And if you have not watched it, it was justifying his kind of deviant sexual needs. Yes. Or what he perceived us as needs.

SPEAKER_00 33:53

To to say to multiple times, even saying it once in in a sermon in a message is bad enough. But hearing that multiple times, he said, Wives, if you're not pleasing your husband, then don't be shocked if he strays.

SPEAKER_01 34:10

Well, yeah, and he equated It's on it's on the wife with withholding sex at any time for any reason was sin. And, you know, to the point where she I'm not gonna go in all the things that they made her, he made her do, or the things that she felt she had to do, not just to stay in line in her marriage, but as a representative of the church. Because that was the biggest threat he held over her was you can't serve. You don't have money, you don't have access to people. These are my people, these are not your people. This is, you know, people will leave the church if you are not taking care of me the way that I need my needs met. Paraphrasing some of this stuff. But saying it's biblically sound. Uh saying it's biblically sound, also convincing her that she had oh, psychosis, psychiatric issues. Now, I won't get I don't I'm not a medical professional. This is just what was on the on the doc on the documentary. But some of the things of all that. So let me just because I could not, and if you want to know where Casey and I stand biblically, it's not hard to figure that one out. It is not hard, but I will say this. I'm gonna read it so I don't like mess it up. Okay. So scripture is a weapon, but people are not the enemy. It scripture is powerful, it corrects us, directs us, convicts us. It exposes darkness and equips us to stand against evil, but it was never intended to be weaponized against the very people who we are called to love. And we should never use scripture to shame someone into silence, excuse abuse, or convince someone that enduring harm is evidence of greater faithfulness to God. And submission should never mean surrendering your safety. And on top of that, we cannot demand submission from a wife or a congregation while ignoring whether that person is submitting themselves to the Lord. So that was my biggest takeaway of whether you are in wherever you are in life, I'm hoping that nobody's in the situation, but you very well may be in a place that isn't safe. I know what the Bible says about submission, and I know that is a something that makes you kind of like yeah, you know, you kind of want sometimes because you are an independent woman, you want to look away, is a weapon towards women. It is used as a weapon. Well, let me be clear. What we are being asked to submit to is somebody who is submitting themselves to the Lord. Because that's what the verse says.

SPEAKER_00 36:50

Why submit why submit to your husbands as husbands submit to the Lord?

SPEAKER_01 36:56

Yes. So if you if they are not doing that, if they are adding in their own spin on things, like that's it's not blind, so it's not blind. It's it's just not that. And because I know that many people who listen to this are involved, have been involved, or have experienced a tremendous amount of church hurt and haven't found their place because church has been a place maybe of a place of pain for them. Let me just say this as far as the health of the church goes, of what it should be. It should be the safest place to tell the truth because that is why we're there to hear the truth. Okay. But when someone says, I'm afraid, I'm being controlled, I'm being hurt, I'm not safe. Which is what she was saying. Which is what she was saying. And listen, and if I could just digress slightly off of not just Micah Miller, I'm talking about anybody who comes in and says, I I I'm not in a good place. Yeah. If the only thing they do is say, Well, let's pray about it. I that's I'm not saying you shouldn't pray because you should. You should pray, you should seek wisdom, but you should turn to scripture and we should also walk alongside of them with truth and grace. But we should act. Non-negotiable. If someone tells you they're being hurt, we need to believe them. We shouldn't submit them to well, what part of your life is sinful that you are experiencing this. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:34

Because I think that was a frustrating part too, was where was the church in all of this when she was when this was happening? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:41

So listen, safety should not be the last resort after every other spiritual option is exhausted. And I I believe if we look at scripture and we look at specifically Jesus, when he saw hurt, he looked how to act.

SPEAKER_00 39:01

He looked how to heal. And mainly women. That's who Jesus did. That's who he advocated for a lot and came to help women.

SPEAKER_01 39:17

There's so many interactions with women in the New Testament. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 39:22

The women who who would who would be shamed without Jesus. Yeah. Because I think, you know, the woman who too the woman who touched his his when she was bleaking non-stop. And she would have been outcast to the tent because she was unclean. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:40

I'm just saying he honored women, he listened, he taught, and he defended them. Um and the greatest news that we have was his resurrection and what that did for us. Yeah. He shared that with a woman first. I know. So yeah, I'm not gonna get into all of that.

SPEAKER_00 39:59

I'm just saying it's really very, very frustrated memory. Stir my pot. Oh yeah. And he's still freedom preaching. I know. I'm like, who is going to this church? Now, granted, small people, maybe 20 people are going to it, but I'm like, who are you? I don't know. Have you read the Bible?

SPEAKER_01 40:18

But so one of the things that irritated me even beyond it is because then, you know, if you get on social media, you just start kind of seeing this stuff. And algorithms. The algorithms of I really Facebook is where I saw most of this. And I think I saw it a little bit on TikTok of people's response to this. And so many responses were this is things like this is why I've left the church. This is why I deconstructed. This is why I'm okay with not this. I can be a moral person without having faith. Because if faith means this, I want no part of it. Now, let me tell you, the reason I wrote all of that stuff is because this is the response that I was seeing. And it breaks my heart on a way that I can't even begin to tell you when people walk away from faith because they've been hurt. And the thing that I feel like so many people missed in the documentary, and like I said, this is about the documentary, but this is like so much other stuff. In this particular one, Micah did not give up her faith.

SPEAKER_00 41:24

Never. It actually, which I think people when when you have a strong faith and you're going through trials, sometimes your faith becomes stronger.

unknown 41:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:35

At as you're trying to get, and I don't want to say trials because that's not the right word. I mean what she went through is it was living hell. I mean, let's be honest. Yeah. No one, no woman, nobody should have ever gone through what she went through. And to still have that strong a conviction of faith blew my mind. Yeah. Because 99% of the people would have deconstructive, would have said there is no God. Because how how can there be a God when I'm going through this? I know. I just especially when it's a man saying that he's a he's a man of God. He's a man who believes in Jesus. Which I I screenshotted a picture of you and sent it to Stephanie because there's this there was this one screenshot of this preacher, and when I looked at it, like it looked like a demon to me. Like I just, I'm like, oh, this is it, like gave me like that whole sick feeling of like, oh my gosh, there's something wrong with him. Just by looking at a picture.

SPEAKER_01 42:34

Yeah. I I guess I wanna I I wanted to intro a little bit of kind of like where we started because if you go back to, you know, other episodes you've been following for a long time, you know we can be silly and goofy and we can talk about, you know. Aprons. We can talk about apron b bellies and saggy boobs and complain about perimetopause and all valid.

SPEAKER_00 43:01

All valid.

SPEAKER_01 43:02

And also but we can also get our panties in a real bunch about I hate that you use all the panties.

SPEAKER_00 43:07

I did it. It's all right, keep going.

SPEAKER_01 43:13

I can be irate. That the thing that I love most in the world is the thing that's being used to hurt people. Yeah. So that all these things can be true. So what you will find here is women who will defend Jesus constantly. But I also get why you're in a position to feel like church maybe hasn't been the safest place. Yeah. And I can tell you that I have experienced and I will probably never get into all of the things that I've been through in my time of being part of the church. But I will say it's never stopped me from going to church.

SPEAKER_00 43:53

Yeah. And it doesn't matter what church you go to, at some point in time it's going to disappoint you, upset you, because that's just the way. That it is. It's moved by humans. Humans are broken.

SPEAKER_01 44:03

And I do think it's okay to call humans out when they're not doing the right thing. I get it. As you should. I don't know the the way that people are doing it nowadays is necessarily the right way to do it in all times. I get it. But I there should be accountability. And if you ever hear anything from us that is something that is like, oh, you guys were off base. Yes. We welcome accountability.

SPEAKER_00 44:30

Sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 44:31

No, we we do. We absolutely do.

SPEAKER_00 44:33

I mean, there is a fear of doing something wrong, and then all of a sudden you're getting doxxed on the internet. Yeah. And that happened to me this week. Uh-oh. I know. I have driven the same way to take my children to school for 16 plus years. Yeah. I don't know what was going on on a Friday, this past Friday, but I zoned out. I we were running a little late, but the poor man in the crosswalk tried to stop me and I just flew right by him.

unknown 45:02

Oh no.

SPEAKER_00 45:04

And never done that before, ever. Totally my fault. I totally admit that I did it. Yeah. In my mind, because he was screaming at me.

SPEAKER_02 45:12

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 45:12

And I cussed really loudly and face like, what? I'm like, I just blew that. I wasn't, I was in my own head. I don't know. I I have no excuse. And then I could not go on social media because I was so fearful that it was going to be, oh, this woman in blah blah blah car drove right through. How dare her, you know. And I'm like, it was, and it's so easy to do.

SPEAKER_01 45:35

And even if you would have got on and said, you know what, I did it. I handled it poorly. I I'm sorry. I'm so sorry in the moment I was in my head, and that there's nothing that I can say that justifies it because there is no justification of what I did.

SPEAKER_00 45:49

It wouldn't matter because they would still go through it. They would still like it in that that's the that is the biggest fear with social media. Yeah. Is that you can have a bad day. And then I'm saying, and it can ruin your life. Oh, I know. And there's a difference between running a stop sign and and doing what this. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:15

I'm not gonna give that man any more attention. No, we're gonna just just saying.

SPEAKER_00 46:18

So that was that was my brain fog last week. And then I thought about it all day because that's how you do. You just ruminate. When you make a mistake, you just ruminate and just think about it, and it just becomes like that's all I can think about. And then of course I had to tell everybody.

SPEAKER_01 46:35

Oh, okay. So you have that same disease that I do, is that when you make a mistake, you must publicly confess it?

SPEAKER_00 46:41

Not say yes, all the time. Because I feel like if I can if I can self-deprecate myself before anybody else, then it's fine. Then I don't have to worry about it because I I'm beating you to the punch. I get it. You can't make fun of me because I already made fun of myself.

SPEAKER_01 46:58

Do you also have the disease of where you say something and it just it was out of order, out of turn, or just like it landed wrong? Do you think about it like months later? Yes.

SPEAKER_00 47:13

Or I or it's I'm in a heated, not a heated debate, but I'm in a discussion where I know I have the right answer, but I cannot articulate the answer correctly. Yeah.

unknown 47:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 47:24

And and I'll go back and finally, I'll be like, oh, this is what I should have said. But you can't go back and say, well, this is really what I meant because everybody else has moved on. Now I haven't. Okay. Can I tell you, oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 47:36

So my father-in-law's birthday is a few weeks ago, and we get together and go out to a restaurant, we're celebrating. And uh they go there a lot, so they're very known at this place. This is their this is their cheers, for lack of better terms. You know, where everyone knows your name. Almost started singing it. So the busboy comes up and says, Happy birthday. And my father-in-law looks at him and goes, Happy birthday to you. To me. He said happy birthday back to him. Except for he was like, he caught himself. You know, it's not like it was like a instead of saying, Hey, how are you? Good, how are you? You know, it was like he just like kind of auto-responded it back to him and he was like, It was not this dude's birthday. Is this the first time I've ever seen my father-in-law embarrassed? Ever. Because normally he just stands by whatever he says or thinks, regardless of whether or not I think he should be embarrassed. This is the first time I saw him embarrassed, and I could not stop laughing. And I thought, and I have still like even I didn't even do this. I have secondhand embarrassment. I'm still thinking about it. I have secondhand embarrassment too. So I have secondhand embarrassment of that. So we have said too, like when she's watching shows and something's embarrassing, she she makes us turn it off. She can't she can't handle it. So Abby's birthday was last week. She's turned 14. That's my youngest. Although I heard someone say, Oh gosh, what did they say? She said, Oh crap, I can't remember. It was really gonna be funny. You're just gonna have to trust that because it's yeah, brain fog. It's got it's out there somewhere. Somewhere. All that being said, is someone said, Happy birthday to you. And Abby goes, Happy birthday to me. Yes, she repeated it back, and I was like, that was excellent comedic timing because we all witnessed this. And yes, absolutely hilarious. Another fun fact about that birthday dinner is my mother-in-law showed me her dress for the wedding.

SPEAKER_00 49:35

And it's the same freaking color as mine. Oh I know. Did she know what your color was? Yes. Oh, did she listen to this podcast? I don't think so. Sure hope not. We'll see. They look very different, but they're the same color. I mean, that's a great wedding etiquette. What is the correct etiquette?

SPEAKER_01 50:00

I don't know. I will say the the other than don't wear white. Like we all know that. Broom's mom waited to get her dress until I got my dress. My mom was waiting until I picked out mine, and my mother-in-law said she was waiting until I picked out mine until she picked out hers. And she says that it is not the same color as mine.

SPEAKER_00 50:17

I beg to differ. I mean, was she very different styles though? Yes, but was she thinking, well, okay, I'm on theme, and therefore I don't know. She goes, We probably won't have any pictures together. And I'm like, Yeah, you will.

unknown 50:32

Pretty sure we will.

SPEAKER_00 50:34

There's the there's the parent picture. No, no, just the family. The family picture, the big family picture, just the parent picture where you have both sides. We're just gonna have to stand, like not close to each other.

SPEAKER_01 50:44

It'll be all work out. Anyway, I got a big chuckle out of it. That uh honestly, I needed the happy birthday to you, me. You know, that I needed that to like break up the internal struggle that I was having at that moment because that's exactly when I'd just seen that. So uh listen.

SPEAKER_00 51:03

Welcome back. Welcome back. Happy what season three. I was gonna get there.

SPEAKER_01 51:10

You were well, you know, it's gonna take us a few weeks to get in our full rhythm, I believe. And that's okay. But we'll get there. But some housekeeping notes. As always, when you wherever you listen to us or watch us, well, I'd say wherever you listen to us, you're gonna see something that says send us fan mail. No, I can't freaking change those words. Oh, that's so it's so bad. I did not choose those. I cannot change those. It's just part of how it imports in. But I will say, if you do click it, you can send us an email or a text and it will send it to us directly on our website. You can leave us a voicemail if there's anything you ever want to weigh in on. And you can do that by just saying, Hey, I just want to tell you something and we will hear it or see it. Or if you ever have something you're like, I want to say something and I want it to be heard publicly, we will say it. You can do that too. We have some exciting guests coming up in the next few months. Very excited. So that is very exciting. Also, if you look on the website, there is some merch.

SPEAKER_00 52:13

What? We are just stepping up, killing it. Love it. That was you because new logo, new us.

SPEAKER_01 52:23

New logo, new us. Still stuff trying to do things on a shoe stream project. So some things have not changed whatsoever. Whatsoever. So we are so happy to be back. As always, we will do our best to get this out every Monday. Give us grace if you don't see us till Tuesday.

SPEAKER_00 52:42

And I I I will say, if you enjoy the episode, if you enjoy listening to us, we would love for you to share it with your friends, like our, you know, like it, all of the things because it just helps us get out there. And not that we're doing this for the number of years we're doing this because we believe that there are other people and women out there who would enjoy listening to this and and kind of feel the same.

SPEAKER_01 53:07

And we're like, oh yeah, that's me too. Yeah, as of now, this doesn't bring in a single penny. And that's okay because we do view this as much fun as we're having. Yes. The amount of people who reach out to us, we know that there's ministry happening. And it may not look like what your average ministry looks like in the walls of a church, but we do know that when we speak to each other and we speak to you guys, that something is clicking for the right people. So when you like, when you share, when you do those things, or even if you just want to treat this as a secret society and you want to share it via text, be like, hey, I think you might like this one. Yeah. Or this reminds me of us. It does mean the world to us because whether or not we ever make a penny off of this. We don't care. We don't care. If you buy a hat off of us, it might help us cut because there's a cost to making it. Oh, yeah. But like I said, we love doing this and we love you guys. So here's season three. Yeah. All right, see you guys next week. Bye.

SPEAKER_00 54:11

Much better.

SPEAKER_01 54:12

That was fifty five minutes, friends. What? That was fifty five minutes.

SPEAKER_00 54:17

Look at us go.