Hormones, Storm Prep, and Intrusive Thoughts

SPEAKER_03 0:01

Hey guys, welcome to Catapreachie. This is a very special episode because Casey and I went completely unhinged. So you were either in for a massive treat, or this is gonna be a real turnoff for you. I don't know which one it's gonna be. We are so happy that you are here. You maybe snowed in this week. So we encourage you to stick your earbuds in, your headphones on, and escape real life for an hour with us.

SPEAKER_00 0:26

Yeah, this is definitely TMI kind of an episode.

SPEAKER_03 0:28

It's yeah, a little bit, yeah, it's a little bit of TMI. It's a little bit on hand.

SPEAKER_00 0:31

Dealing with perimenopause.

SPEAKER_03 0:32

So may you know, maybe that if you normally listen to us in the car, you know, with your kids, this might be a might be a good headphone. Learn some things. Oh my god. All right, buckle up, kids. Here we go. Welcome to Kind of Preachy. I'm Steph Moore. I am with Casey Bryant. And we are here preparing for Snow Mageddon.

SPEAKER_00 1:03

Yes, we are. Did you go buy your eggs, your bread, your milk? I toilet paper. Alcohol.

SPEAKER_03 1:11

Cigarettes. I'm just I'm just kidding. Yes. I feel like we are as stocked up as we can be. I went to I went to the grocery last night and it wasn't, it wasn't so bad. We have a new little grocery store. We have Publix is new to our area.

SPEAKER_00 1:26

I know. They're building one by us too.

SPEAKER_03 1:28

We have one that's right next to us, and I don't feel like that was nearly as like wiped out as everything else.

SPEAKER_00 1:35

So whenever this happens, we have to go to the store to buy eggs because we're out of eggs. And I always want to like scream at people. I'm like, I'm not one of those crazy people. We just didn't have any eggs. Like, legit, we didn't have any eggs or bread or milk. Oh my gosh, I'm so embarrassed. But yeah, we we had Doug had to go buy eggs, and I'm like, have fun.

SPEAKER_03 1:57

Well, mine is milk because you know, Abby's food groups are macaroni and cheese, chicken nuggets, and Cheerios. Oh. Cereal. I mean, mostly Cheerios, yeah. But it is a it is a staple. And she doesn't she doesn't veer far away from those things. So like she would starve if we did not have the you know the ability to make these things. So that's the kind of stuff that I stuck. Did you did you have a meal that you were like, we're all gonna be home, we're gonna be cozy, like this is the meal we have planned.

SPEAKER_00 2:31

No, I have not. I need actually when I get home talk to Doug and be like, what do we have planned? We have a trillion competition. Faith has her last one tomorrow morning, and they keep moving it earlier and earlier. So I think we now have a 7:30 a.m. start and ending at 11, and they've combined everybody. So middle school, high school, you name it, everyone's there's no more two sessions. It's all just one session now, so we can get it done.

SPEAKER_03 3:00

Well, that's good because sometimes they take they take way too long anyways.

SPEAKER_00 3:03

Yeah, well, and we're all hoping because you know, depending on which weatherman is right and what time the snow starts.

SPEAKER_03 3:09

Oh well, we I took my old well, my I almost was gonna say my oldest son. I only have one son. That was a weird way to put that. Well, what I can say is that when Sam and I republics, he's newly gluten-free, and we just found gluten-free chicken noodle soup. Oh. We are both very excited. For me, it's been like five years since I've had chicken noodle soup. So this is like it's a big thing. Only like a month for him. But you know, we're kind of excited to get snowed in for a day, and we're gonna be over that in exactly one day.

SPEAKER_00 3:36

Absolutely. This the my best, my favorite part about this whole thing is the family group text. And not just my like my whole entire family, all 18 of us in a very large group text where everyone's like 12 inches, 14 inches, and then I'm like, I want to write something inappropriate, but I'm not going to because all children are in here. And then my nephew was like, I was waiting for somebody to do it because I wanted to too. And then, of course, my husband's like, There are young children who are on this text thread. But that's the best part, is the is the text thread from the family.

SPEAKER_03 4:09

Well, you know, being unfiltered, that feels like a good segue into our topic for today. Yes. So we thought if you're getting ready to be snowed in, because by the time this comes out, we will be snowed in. At least if you are in anywhere in the eastern to southern region, yes, I think you are expecting either snow, ice, or bitter cold. So let's bundle up, cozy up, and we're gonna give you a little perimenopausal life hormones, all the things overwhelmed. Let's just get into it.

SPEAKER_00 4:41

Great.

SPEAKER_03 4:42

Okay. So uh yeah, if you're overwhelmed, hormonal, annoyed for no clear reason. I'm raising my hand.

SPEAKER_00 4:50

Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 4:52

So let's, you know, let's just chat a little bit. Since we are going to be home with our families, I thought maybe this would be a really good time to like just let it all out. Let's just get all of our stuff out so we can we can be more tolerable to our families.

SPEAKER_00 5:03

Let's be honest. That's not gonna happen. That's not gonna happen. By the time Monday night rolls around, they're gonna my they're gonna drive me nuts.

SPEAKER_03 5:12

Oh my gosh. So yeah. So let's let's talk about some of the things that annoyed us this week. Let's just see if you have any on deck.

SPEAKER_00 5:23

Things that are annoying to me. Well, can I go TMI? Because I'm gonna go TMI right away. Okay, so I my periods are out of control. And I was not supposed to start, but now I just now start at random times at random. Like there is no rhyme or reason to it, and they're the most horrific periods that I've ever experienced in in my life. I know, they're horrible. It's it's I can't I things that are coming out of my body, I'm like, what is this?

SPEAKER_03 5:56

And you are not my only friend in the stage of life who I've had this almost exact conversation with this week.

SPEAKER_00 6:03

I I it is it's gotten worse, and then I'm like, okay, at what point in time what point in time is it going to be done? Because that's that's that's what I'm waiting for. Like, and I went to the to the OB about this. I'm like, my periods are horrible. Like, I I I can't like three days, I'm ruining clothing, underwear, you name it, I'm ruining everything. And I'm like, hey, let's let's ablation. Oh, yes. I'm ready for this. And she's like, let's try birth control. I haven't been on birth control since my 20s.

SPEAKER_03 6:34

Now, did that has it done anything? Or had did you do it?

SPEAKER_00 6:37

I did birth control for three months. I gained 15 pounds and I said, and I emailed her back and I said, I took myself off of this, I am not taking it anymore. And she's like, You need to come back in the office. I'm like, okay, I'll come back later. But no. So I I don't I I'm just living through it, just hoping that it's going to be done eventually. I am uh well, I don't know what is wrong with my brain. Brain fog is a real thing. So you no no issues, your periods are fine.

SPEAKER_03 7:11

I okay. Let me just tell you, yeah, okay, let's just get into the TMI of it. I I have shared on here that I've been on a GLP one. Yeah. That has helped my cycle. What? I'm on semaglutide. I mean, it's not compound. I mean it's not one of the name brand ones. It has tremendously helped my cycle. Okay. Where I was bleeding like anywhere between 14 to 17 days a month. And like the the equivalent of, you know, it would either be one long one or I would have two periods a month. And now I am pretty much every 28 days lasting four to five days.

SPEAKER_00 7:51

I'm so jealous because that what like that's the other issue is the the pre-like the like you start bleeding, spotting five days prior to a what?

SPEAKER_03 8:01

Yeah. So this month was a little on the funky side, but just it it lasted longer. But I mean, like, not nearly as long as what I've been. So that tells me that my hormones are out of whack if something here is messing with it.

SPEAKER_00 8:14

So for me, it's brain fog, huh?

SPEAKER_03 8:17

Oh my gosh. So can I just play the sound that my family hears more than anything? And we'll see if anybody knows what this is. Ready? Are you looking for your phone? I'm looking for my phone. Do you know how many times it's in my lap?

SPEAKER_00 8:40

I was looking for my keys today and they were in my hand.

SPEAKER_02 8:43

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_03 8:44

I it's like I I used to make fun of like people who you're like, I'm looking for my glasses and they're on my head. You were all in perimetopause. Like that is what it was happening, and I just didn't know. I was thinking, you guys are just old and senile. No. No, no, something happens to your brain, and I walk into a room and I'm like, I don't know what I was doing. I can get up to go to the bathroom. I'm like, why did I come in the bathroom? No, people go to the bathroom in the bathroom, but I'm like, why am I in here?

SPEAKER_00 9:10

Because I don't remember. I do that too. Like I'll get up and walk into another room. I'm like, why did I walk in this room? I knew for a very specific reason that I came in here, but I cannot remember.

SPEAKER_03 9:21

Cannot remember. Now, what tops off everything to me that I am like, what the heck did I just do? I went, I started making a meal. Yeah. I got distracted.

SPEAKER_00 9:29

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 9:30

Walked out of the room, came back in and started making a completely different meal. Well, did you have two dinners that night?

SPEAKER_02 9:39

Or what'd you do? What am I doing? I started defrosting something. I came back in, started making a totally different thing.

SPEAKER_03 9:49

My brain, I'm like, I swear, I'm an intelligent person.

SPEAKER_00 9:53

Yeah, I I know that.

SPEAKER_03 9:55

And my brain right now has made me feel like I am an idiot. And my kids just make fun. They hear this sound and they're like, it's to the point now where they see my phone link. Some of them are like, Mom, I'm gonna put it here. Do you see? Like, and they'll hold it up and they'll announce where they're putting it. Like, I am just like you're a three-year-old. Yes, toddler. Yeah, so I I'm very much not enjoying this brain fog. I would say I'm I'm I'm doing okay on the hot flashes.

SPEAKER_00 10:24

Hot flashes, I'm just I just get hot. Like I haven't had like the full-on sweat, sweat, sweat, but I am hotter than I used to be, where I used to always have to bundle up. I'm like, oh no, I can't I don't have to be that new as much.

SPEAKER_03 10:39

Extreme hot or extreme cold. Yeah. There is no like right now, feel my hands. I feel freezing.

SPEAKER_00 10:46

You are cold.

SPEAKER_03 10:46

I feel freezing. And so what I will do is I will put the blankets on, I will turn my heater on, all these things. And then I saw your post. And then 10 minutes later, I will want to take my top off. Because it it's witness. It is one extreme or the other. But it's not like what I was experiencing prior. Like I said, I do think this medicine is helping some of these things, but not my brain. It is not helping my brain in any way, shape, or form.

SPEAKER_00 11:13

It's like, do you get migraines? Like out, I don't not necessarily migraines, but severe headaches like will come out of the blue out of nowhere. And I'm like, what? Then I'm like, is this is this a temperature change? And then I'm like, oh, that is also a sign of perimet loss. Is I used to get crazy. I think so.

SPEAKER_03 11:29

I used to get crazy headaches, but I since I've been gluten-free, yeah, I don't get nearly as many. Like I I get them rarely. In fact, I'm a real baby about them now. I used to suffer from migraines. Not I have family members who suffer way, way more. Yeah. Like chronic migraines. But I would get, you know, two to three a month. And I don't know the last time I've had a migraine. No. It's been years. That's amazing. That was going gluten-free. Yes. Um, so it's clear, like I said, like w what I eat definitely played a role in a lot of my stuff. But some of the stuff like brain fog got better when I went gluten-free.

SPEAKER_00 12:12

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 12:13

That's how I know this is hormonal now that I 100% believe it's hormonal. Because it's all that stuff is is back. Which it's hard because I'm trying to make decisions every single day. Yeah. And there's two things. Either A, I can't remember what what I'm doing, or B, I'm so irritated at having to make the decision. And they're not even big decisions. There's not one single big decision that I've been like, I don't want to make that. But when I see someone in my family who's incapable of making a decision, and that's like, what do you want for dinner?

SPEAKER_00 12:44

Oh, I hate that question.

SPEAKER_03 12:45

What do you want to eat? I'm like, come up with a freaking plan by yourself.

SPEAKER_00 12:49

I know. I can only do so much. And then I'm and then I'm done. And I hate trying to when I have a great week, it's when I plan on Sunday, and that very rarely happens. And so when you ask me like, what do you guys gotta have this weekend? I'm like, oh, that'd been smart if we would have planned for Snow Mageddon and all the meals, but I have not, and I don't want to. There, I just don't want to make decisions.

SPEAKER_03 13:11

No, and truthfully, only the gluten people in my house are gonna have like food because that's what I thought. You said I don't care about anybody else. I don't care. I don't care about anybody else. I do care. I do care. Actually, my husband went to the grocery store the other day and he buys food for the gluten people. Oh, nice. Isn't this weird that this is like the pattern that we've landed on? Uh-huh. Because I can't eat what they eat. So my brain doesn't think about like, oh, this sounds good. This would sound good for you.

SPEAKER_00 13:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:37

Your glasses just I just lost my glasses.

SPEAKER_00 13:39

They're gone. It's fine. I'll find them eventually. They went to Narnia. That's just that's just the way that things are going.

SPEAKER_03 13:46

Oh my goodness. So, yes, we are um Yeah, it's the little decisions of, you know, it it's they're not massive decisions, but like the idea that I have to make one more decision for somebody else. It fills me with a rage that should not be happening.

SPEAKER_00 14:04

I am very my patience for my youngest is very shorter than it was for my older ones. And especially like I can go off, not meaning to. And I don't and I, you know, like you can feel it coming on, and you're like, don't, don't do it, don't, don't, don't go off, don't raise your voice. And then next thing you know, you're uh you're out of control. Like that's happened more times with her than than I would like to admit. And it's just because I have I have zero patience. I like I have no idea what happened to my patience. And and and risk frustrated of like how many times I have to tell you to do this. And with the other ones, I feel like I had more patience, but they'll probably tell you differently.

SPEAKER_03 14:49

So do you feel like your youngest is similar to you in like personality at all?

SPEAKER_00 14:53

Oh, 100% she's me made over. Okay. Which is which is part of the problem because my that's my biggest fear with her is knowing she's gonna have a chance to pick a path, and I don't want her to choose my path because even though you know I redeemed and all that fun stuff, it was it was a hard, yeah, hard for many, many years. And I don't wish that upon her.

SPEAKER_03 15:18

Yeah. So my youngest, I would say she is very similar to me. Yeah. But I am a let me think of the most polite way to say this. If Abby has a thought or a feeling, everybody knows it. Oh, okay. I don't necessarily show it right away. I like to think on it. Yeah. I will say this. So I got irritated at work this week. And I just shut my door and I was like, you know what? I don't feel great. I was feeling like the sinus pressure behind my eyes, like my teeth were starting to hurt, and I was like feeling drainage. And I was like, especially when I don't feel good, my tolerance is even lower for people. And so my coworker knocks on my door at this at the end of the day, and she was like, Are you okay? And I'm like, I'm fine. She goes, Are you sure? And I'm like, No, actually, I'm not. I mean, I gave you a moment. I I I tried to give you the option to walk away, but you did, but you chose not to. You chose to engage. Be prepared. You poked the bear.

SPEAKER_00 16:16

Be prepared.

SPEAKER_03 16:17

No, I'm gonna go off for a half hour.

unknown 16:20

Oh no.

SPEAKER_00 16:22

And it's it's don't mean to, but that's just I feel like this is like everything irritation, tolerance, also because I don't I don't sleep well. Oh if I sleep for four hours straight, I get really excited because I just I wake up all the time throughout the night. So I my sleeping just sucks too.

SPEAKER_03 16:42

Well, I can't blame my hormones for that. I blame my dog for not letting me sleep, who is like a newborn baby again. He's like 11 and a half years old. And he's a tiny, he's a little dog. Yeah, he's like a newborn baby. I mean, twice a night. The last two weeks. Waking you up. Oh, yeah, to go usually like around one or two and then around five.

SPEAKER_00 17:01

I was so happy when we passed that stage.

SPEAKER_03 17:04

Uh with the post-es, but now we're like senior dogs. I know, you're going right back to it. We're right back to it. Yeah. So he slept till five o'clock this morning, and I was like, this is amazing. This is great. But I got to work from home this morning, so I didn't like get up and like get out the door. So I found myself being a little slow this morning. So I was by the time I was getting ready to start work, I'm like, oh, I'm really tired again. Like by eight, by 8 a.m., I was already exhausted. Yeah. Like completely, utterly exhausted. I'm like, I haven't even started my day. So I work till noon today, which is great. Love having a half day on Fridays. And then I'm chatting with Elena for a little bit, and she goes off to a workout, comes back. She's getting in the shower. I'm like, just wake your mom up in a half hour. I'm gonna have a little siesta. She's like, you gotta get ready. I just take in a shower. I look like absolute like death. I look like death before I got in the shower. I thought maybe shower helped. Nope. It it did not help. But I'm like, there I don't know if I'm gonna come back from this. Like I my body looks decrepit. Like I don't know what is happening. Like I I just wanted to curl up in a ball and I'm I want to sleep all the time.

SPEAKER_00 18:17

I am so wanted to sleep. And it if I don't force myself to go work out, I would I would never work out ever again. But because I work out with, you know, some awesome people who always check in with me and be like, Where were you? Because I I accidentally slept in on I turned off my alarm on Monday morning and sounded like you needed it. And that was very sweet. And that's what she said to me. My my awesome person who owns a gym is a trainer. She said, Are you okay? You never miss. I'm like, turned off my alarm, didn't realize it. She's like, apparently you needed to sleep. I'm like, I did. But I also want to work out and I work out to see no no progress. That's the other thing that well, we talked about that before you went on. Your GL, what is it, whatever the shot is. Gosh. Say it's for my brain. I that's that's been most frustrating is working out. I'm watching watch tracking what I eat, keeping down my calories, and still can't lose weight. I mean, I have, I've lost finally, I'm down officially 20 pounds, but it's taken me six months of hard Yeah, you have worked really hard. Really, really hard work. And it doesn't even feel like I, you know, I look in the mirror thinking, like, oh my gosh, 20 pounds. I'm gonna see all the no, I I I don't see any change yet. So it that part is so frustrating, and especially where I hold my my weight, because I hold my weight right now in my stomach.

SPEAKER_03 19:52

Yeah, I also hold it in my stomach and I I lost my boobs. Isn't that the worst? That's the first thing we know.

SPEAKER_00 20:00

No, I'm like, seriously, seriously, I lost my butt.

SPEAKER_03 20:06

Oh my gosh, I've also lost my butt and it is embarrassing because it is. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 20:13

I have you've gotten that ad like on TikTok for the like the the the ones that you're like move your butt, like it's like it makes it look like I'm like, maybe that's what I need, like my sagging skin can look like a butt.

SPEAKER_00 20:24

I know I I have started looking and I will never do it because I can't afford it, like plastic surgeons for tummy tuck because of my C-section, and like it I can't stand the the skin anymore. And I just want to see, I just want to see a drastic change for all of my work that I'm doing, and I'm not seeing a drastic change. And I know part of it, it's it's it is there's it's just not working out and eating right. Part of it is perimenopause and going in the hormones, and your hormones are just not working well with you to say, let's lose the weight. They're like, no, we want to keep this weight on to make you feel like shit. Sorry. And where is this in the Bible too? That's what I want to go back to, which we haven't even talked about.

SPEAKER_03 21:11

Well, gluttony. I mean, they talk about gluttony. So I mean, clearly some people had issues. Um, no, but you're right. I there's something that happens to your body that makes it out of control. So everything. I honestly, when I was younger, I would see these older people who were like, I would like call like the little biddies, you know? Yeah. And and I thought this is what I'll be like. I did not see myself not being when I look at God rest their souls, my my grandmothers.

SPEAKER_02 21:40

I should have known it was not what I was going to look like.

SPEAKER_00 21:44

But no, no one our moms did not talk about this. No one talks about this part of your life. They talk about your periods. They talk about maybe, maybe they talk about your periods. Maybe they forewarn you about that, maybe they talk about sex.

SPEAKER_03 22:00

if you're if you're lucky or and and labor and delivery and all that like your birth but they don't my mom never said well then again my mom I don't think went through menopause because she had cancer went through chemo I don't well in the last probably five years I've heard my mom talk about like the weight is just not as easy like the things that she has done but you know she is 21 21 years older than I am 20 yeah my mom was my mom was a baby when she had me 21 22 okay something like that she was she was very much a baby and so I I mean I've kind of watched her struggle a little bit but also her struggle is like that would be on me on my best day I look at my mom and I'm like she looks so good. Yes I just and you know what was funny so um my daughter and her friend had dinner with my mom and dad the other night they're getting ready to go on vacation they're taking Elena on like her kind of like graduation trip and they're going to Hawaii. Oh I know super jealous yes yeah well her so she she was able to invite a friend to go with her and her friend looks at Elena as they leave and they're like your mom and your Nana are the same person. Oh and I I just don't really ever hear anybody ever say that. Like I don't people don't generally say like you're a lot like your mom. I mean there's things that we do but in this quest to take care of our bodies and like like I'm constantly trying to close my rings and get all my steps in. Yeah. So if I'm cooking if I'm cleaning if I'm just sitting there talking to you I'm probably marching in place. I am making ever I make everybody in my house nervous because I'm constantly moving thinking like well if you're sitting down you're not that's not helping you.

SPEAKER_00 23:52

So until I've closed my rings I am moving moving moving moving that that just brings me anxiety and stress.

SPEAKER_03 24:00

Yeah asked my husband about it he he can't stand it. Yes I'm like well what do you want me to do? I don't have time to go to a gym right now although I am going to you are Pilates next Wednesday at 6 a.m if we are not snowed in which I'm kind of maybe like saying I'm okay with the snow just kidding.

SPEAKER_00 24:20

You want to do the once you get into a routine of getting up and going working out at 5 30 or whatever 6 a.m it is I am not a morning person but when it's done I'm like yes I feel so accomplished even though I'm not seeing any changes in my body even though she would say differently but you know because we all want to see the I want to see well you've had a drastic change and part of it is you can you can say that I I I I know this I know this I'm aware I and I'm all jealous people have you anybody who is who is dra like I'm 100% jealous of officer I've lost around 50 pounds.

SPEAKER_03 25:01

I know that's my that's I am because we started at the same time I know it's because I pace constantly I just can't that's my issue I'm trying to I'm trying to take naps in your picture take naps no that's okay I admit I like I told you I basically took two naps I slept I slept between eight and eight thirty today yes because I couldn't bear the thought of my workday because I'm like I'm too exhausted and then I did again between two and two thirty because showering took it out of me.

SPEAKER_00 25:32

Well I now that I I have an office I I kept thinking I need a couch and so I can shut the door and take power naps.

SPEAKER_03 25:41

Oh yeah I I do have a couch in my office and I do use it for power naps. If you call me between 12 and 1 and I don't answer it's because I'm sleeping. Man that's a real thing? Oh for sure. Oh I did I okay oh a hundred percent I stick my my earbuds on I set an alarm I put my phone on do not disturb for an hour and I clot turn the lights out and everybody knows like if it's lunchtime and my door is shut I'm probably napping.

SPEAKER_00 26:06

It is a thing I do not think that that was etiquette wise I guess work etiquette wise or you just don't care. You just don't give a shit I I gotta stop cussing. You just don't care anymore.

SPEAKER_03 26:18

I I don't think I care anymore. Yeah I I don't know if I would have done that anywhere else.

SPEAKER_00 26:23

True.

SPEAKER_03 26:23

But this stage of my life when I started this job like going back into I I hate to use the word corporate because what I do does not feel corporate. I work in a very small office it's a very real job but it's a small office and it's it's casual I'm blessed with a nice big office and and I use it to its full potential. It just means daily naps.

SPEAKER_00 26:45

I so coming out of ministry and going into a a different job I have realized that I don't know if I ever want to go back to a job where I'd have to be on 247 or where I where I can't shut it off because there is nothing more amazing than at four o'clock when I walk out that door I leave everything behind I don't think about it don't care the weekends I don't I don't think about it don't don't care. Well you know it's a horrible thing to say but when I'm working I'm working but when I think it's horrible but when I'm home and that has not been the case for me ever. Yeah I've always brought work home I've always continued because I've always strived to try to be better or try to get to a next position or a higher position. And now after all of this I'm like I don't care.

SPEAKER_03 27:37

Even when I left vocational ministry and I was an entrepreneur worked for myself so I was still working crazy amounts of hours but I was also still volunteering crazy amounts of hours. So yeah I never stopped any of yes that and like I said I've admitted many times I'm an all in person. I'm a workaholic all that being said I'm at a stage in my life in my body where it's like you can't do that anymore. Yeah I can't I used to be I would say it was a night owl I I cannot do it. At 1015 every night I'm like ready it's it's bedtime.

SPEAKER_00 28:09

I'm I'm 930.

SPEAKER_03 28:11

It's bedtime like by 1030 if I'm not sleeping with my sleep headphones hear my husband snoring I I took a recording of that too this week because he didn't believe me.

SPEAKER_00 28:23

Oh I will not play that I would like you to make a recording I saw a woman with a little airplane and her husband every time her husband snored she moved the airplane oh my gosh it was so bad the other night I I I did like the gentle like just the gentle nudge because he was lying on his back and I'm like just get him to roll over that did not happen.

SPEAKER_03 28:45

He stopped for a few moments and then he went right back to his back and I thought okay we're gonna we're gonna try again so nudged a little harder and that worked for a little bit longer and then just as I started to fall asleep and it was like a new one it was like uh I was like what is this is happening and that irritat's that's it is irritation. It was a lot so then I took like we have like a body pillow that separates us because I'm a no touchy when I'm ready to sleep. Yeah don't don't touch there is a great divide you know there is a time for snuggling and when I went ready to sleep that is not then I'm not I'm an I'm I'm a no touch zone while I'm sleeping so I took the body pillow and I just rammed it into Did I wake him up yeah he was pissed and he's what are you doing? And then he fell right back asleep and I'm like I'm so glad you're sleeping but that and then he'll every time I tell him he snore he goes I do not snore and then I will play the evidence for him and he was like you doctored that oh okay I he knows but he likes to he likes to joke but I will say rest is biblical yes it is it is very biblical the the Sabbath is very very important which is taking a day of not working. So it's important that burnout is not biblical. Burnout is not and I you don't I don't think you realize you're in burnout until you step away from it like I didn't realize how burnout I was how tired I was from my previous role until it was gone and that is one thing that I said like I never want to do well I think it's often you know in the church world yes that you see like your higher ups taking sabbaticals or they'll take periods of time off. Yes but your I don't want to say this in any sort of derogatory way so I don't think that's but your worker bees the people who are making the stuff happen yes do not do not get sabbaticals. They do not get sabbaticals. No they barely get vacation no life no they tell you to take time off and this this is shoot uh we represent working at multiple different churches yes but uh it's you get time off but it doesn't it's not and it shoot it's it's even similar to like what the what what my husband works his job it's it's dictated by the school calendar. Yes the same way your vacations are dictated by oh I sometimes I'm too churchy for my own self and I'm gonna say the ecumenical calendar and that's so many people are not gonna know what I just meant. Church calendar the church calendar yeah so if you know you're gearing up for seasons yeah you you're in prep mode and it's I don't know it's hard. So I I 100% understand like it is a feeling of relief to not have to feel like you are not only constantly on the clock but constantly being watched.

SPEAKER_00 31:53

Yes and and not just you know at my old but most of my jobs actually all of my jobs that I've worked at I've always strived to do the next thing learn more teach me more I want to learn more so I can grow you know go to the next level or the next position. I'm always striving to to do that. And now that has always been me too I don't care I don't want to I don't want more responsibility okay so you know what to do I want less responsibility. I want a full like we talked about this I want a full time job where I get paid my normal salary where I have less responsibility and I can work hybrid and have days off when I want to so tell me that job I don't think I have ever told the story of how I got the job that I have now.

SPEAKER_03 32:38

Okay so it was Easter several years two years ago. Okay. We're coming up on two years. Yeah and I had let's just see it that Easter happened in early April that year in early March so just a month before was when like the final doors were closed like you are not going back into ministry. Yes. Okay so not a very short period of time and that is when I was like I'd closed down my business I didn't let me be clear I did not close down my personal business to go into that it was God said it was time. So you did it. So in my mind in my mind I was like okay you're closing down because he's opening this new door for you. Yes he is and it was not the door you thought it wasn't okay so several weeks later and then so I'm like okay I've I've closed my business I literally have nothing I closed down my blog I closed down like every opportunity I had to make money on my own I'm like I don't have in here I'm just like I had this idea for a podcast but I guess I'm not gonna do it by myself now. I'm like I don't know so I'm trying to make sense of this in my head and I'm at church and I run into a couple who I knew from I knew they came to the my current church yeah but I knew them better from when I worked at another church they were there. I was the children's pastor for their kids. So I knew them well in that season. I knew the wife better than the husband but you know I hope so I knew well she worked with me too she she worked with me there so I had a I had you know I knew who he was but not that I had no idea what he did. And she owned a gym and she said you should come join me at my gym. Now she wasn't saying that as in like I think you're a fat person. Let me be clear it was just like an invitation you know to come. Uh-huh and I said well I probably need to find a job before I start joining a gym and he looks at me and he goes what kind of a job do you want? And I'm like well I want a job that pays me full time that I can work sometimes from home that I never work any nights and I don't work any weekends. Yep yep and I have time to do ministry and I don't want to worry or stress about it. And he's like I could do that. Oh I was like what this is Easter okay yes so then I I I ruminate on this thought of what does this what does this mean? Yeah like whatever I didn't even have his contact information so then I go and I try and Google him and Facebook him like all these things and like trying to figure out what he does. I can't find anything I can't figure out at all. Yeah but I still but I do have his email I email him on Monday morning and I said you know you said that and I don't know what you do but I'm open to talking about it. And we had an interview two days later and to which I still didn't understand what he did. But he hired me anyways and he was like how about you work Monday through Thursday it was like 8 30 to 5. Yeah it's a half day on Friday where you can work from home. We've become even more hybrid since then and he was like you really can't make any mistakes at this job that we can't fix. It's an industry I'll teach you how to do it. And you don't have to think about it when you go home. I love it. And this is what I'm gonna pay you and I'm like Okay. So that's how I ended up getting this job and it wasn't like I had this, you know, for all this time and working of like 17 months of trying to get back into what I was you know yeah back into this thing that I thought like I was being led into and then so somebody randomly just offers me a job out of the blue and I'm like what what what is this? What is this like because I felt like I had been inner I mean I had I wasn't like fully interviewing for 17 months, but it felt like 17 months of going through the process or of like we're building towards this or this might become open like wink wink you know I'm still looking out for things you know like you know like things like those conversations kept you know taking place so like your hopes just kept getting up and it was like wait a minute you're just gonna drop it you know anyways so I I do a the the job kind of fell into my lap and it was like okay great this is what I'm gonna do. When that happened he is getting an entirely different work kind of person than I've ever been before. He's getting an extremely hard worker because I can't stop myself.

SPEAKER_00 37:12

Same.

SPEAKER_03 37:13

I mean when I'm when I'm on I'm on but the minute I'm done I'm done I had always been afraid to talk back to people like you know oh our filters are so my filters way less done it's done.

SPEAKER_00 37:30

Yeah I or my filter is way less but also at the same time I just don't say anything. Like I I have now realized that I just hold my tongue because it's just not worth it. Oh I just I am like is this a battle I really want to fight? Uh no it's not a battle that I I really want to fight. Are you thinking of like in just relationships or just at work? I honestly in general even even work or family or you know because I I say this all the time like my family's love language is gossip and and you know and where we rally each other up and you know even today there is a there's multiple competitions happening throughout the city and one competition is happening all day and it has not been canceled and it's one my sister is going to and she's freaking out and which I totally get and I'm like dude there's nothing you can do about it until someone decides you know why I'm gonna call this person like why it's not we're it's not our decision to make and getting upset and angry which I get I'd be frustrated but like that kind like that kind of stuff I'm like I just don't care like I I don't I don't need it in in my life. Not love my sisters and I I just don't care and she knows I that I say that I'm like who cares?

SPEAKER_03 39:03

You know what's funny is there's some details and of things that I will overanalyze to absolute death.

SPEAKER_02 39:08

Yeah and then there's other things on my I don't care I think that's and I don't even know what I can't even differentiate why I care about some things and why I don't care about others.

SPEAKER_00 39:17

I think that has been part of what has because I put so much effort into what how I'm perceived, what people think about me, trying to be you know a good a good leader, a good all all all of these things and it just didn't go the way that I thought it would and I'm like that why did I put so much effort when well I don't think that you're I don't think what you're doing now is lacking effort.

SPEAKER_03 39:47

I think we are now in a stage of we are looking at what makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 39:53

Yes and and part of it is because as as we get we we've taught well as we get older I think as women especially we feel like we become obsolete because they're always looking for the younger version you know like and you can see that across any TV commercial movie you name it you know the the we're we're placed in the mom old mom you know roles now and so you you just have this fear of as I get w older as a woman do I become obsolete do do I do people still value me and then when you have brain fog and you have you know you're gaining weight and you have all of these self-issues because of perimenopause or menopause whatever you're going through it just drills in your brain that um maybe I am you know obsolete maybe maybe the younger version of is is what people are looking for. So it's it's the battle of trying not to be obsolete and then and going okay if I am then screw it I don't care.

SPEAKER_03 41:02

Hmm well because I'm far enough removed I don't I don't know if anybody was looking to replace me to be younger or but I compare myself with a younger version of myself. I'm still looking for a younger version of I don't think anybody else is looking for that out of me but I'm looking for that energy level that I had I'm looking for the fire that I had for certain things. I'm looking for there's still times in my life I'm 45 freaking years old and I'm like what am I gonna be when I grow up same because when I look at I'm like okay are you is this is this what I'm gonna do for the rest of my life which sounds like I don't know it sounds crazy. I think and I said this to you last week you kind of said something as we were we were leaving and we weren't recording. Yes you just said something of the nature of like you weren't exactly where you wanted to be yeah and I had we've talked about this privately when you have the opportunity to do something that you absolutely love. Yeah that you thought you were making impact in that just man like called all the things you felt called to all the things it is weird to go to a place where you don't feel that anymore. And I think a lot of the things that we've talked about like when you're taken out of a situation and you're thrust into something new I feel like when you change jobs, when you change friends, when gosh would you just change life stages things just all of a sudden look different. And and gosh the perfect storm of all that happened.

SPEAKER_00 42:50

Yeah well I love what you said to me because what you said to me when when I was because you're like how's it going? I'm like it's it's a job you know it's I like the people who I work with are very kind. I like I like what I do but in all reality it's just it's just a job and it wasn't you know what I was doing before and and you said well it's a rebound job. It's it's your first job post what you know you thought you were going to do what you thought God was calling you to and now it's completely different and you're and lit literally I'm still trying to find myself after this and and being like what is what is my purpose? What is my well right now I mean we both have jobs but are calling us talking about our periods apparently well yes well because thank you podcast thank you thank you God for giving this opportunity for us to talk about periods which God love all of our one male listener our husbands who were going to be like seriously this is what you had to talk about.

SPEAKER_03 43:45

I'm like at least we didn't talk about our sex lives you know I what as I was showering and I was thinking about like topics and that kind of stuff and we talked about that I'm like my 21 year old daughter edits this podcast just tell her just

SPEAKER_00 44:00

Preview of what her life will be in 25 years.

SPEAKER_03 44:03

She's gonna edit this and be like, there was not one singular topic you all talked about. This was the most unhinged you guys have ever been.

SPEAKER_00 44:11

Because that's what menopause is. It is freaking unhinged. Damn straight. It is all the time. It's chaotic. It's unhinged. I don't know what I'm doing. And it's rambling. Forgetting words. I can't tell you how many times I for I forgot what I was saying to somebody as I was saying it. Or names. Man, please don't make me remind Brute people's names because I can't I can't remember them.

SPEAKER_03 44:38

Oh no, it's weird. I I manage a book of clients, you know, customers now while they go through the process of the industry that I work in. And I'm so good with names. Oh okay. I'm great. I'm great. I see their name and it's because I'm seeing it. There's something that I visually see it, it locks in my brain. I just told you the name of somebody and you're like, don't you know who that is? I'm like, not a clue. Oh. Because I never saw her name. I never saw it printed. I need to see it in print. Yeah. So if you come and you introduce yourself to me, I'm never remembering your name. No. Never remembering your name. I just got a new volunteer at church. Yeah. Working under my department, which is incredible because I have been a solo for a long time. Seven plus years doing the volunteer role that I do by myself. And I've always asked everybody ask, and they're like, oh, I don't know. That's weird. I don't want to take pictures of people. Like I'm uncomfortable. Like I don't want to do that. And I saw the name of this person and I thought, oh my gosh, I think I I think I recognize this name. And so I emailed her and I was like, this is gonna sound super weird, but did you ever buy earrings? Oh. Because that's that's what I did last. She goes, Yes, I did. And I said, Okay. And so then she was like, That's weird that you remembered that. And I'm like, I remember every name that ever came. Thousands and thousands and thousands of earring orders. I remember the names of everyone. That's weird. Is that not weird? Not only that when I saw her. But yeah, you can't remember where you put your freaking phone. I don't know where my phone is at any given time. And you make two different meals because you forgot and you started one? I knew exactly what her last order was. And I was right. And I was right. And I and I will tell you, I have no access to this information anymore.

SPEAKER_00 46:34

But it is like I can pull out Why does my brain work this way?

SPEAKER_03 46:37

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 46:38

I can pull out Snoop Dogg lyrics all day long. Pearl Jam. Yep, I got it. Metallica right there in that brain.

SPEAKER_03 46:46

My husband's favorite thing to do is like he'll like find like a reel or something like that, and it'll be like the top 10 hits of like, you know, and he'll want to play like kind of like I don't know, like, can you guess the song? An artist or something like that. And I always can, except for I don't know the lyrics to any songs. I realize now that I've sung everything wrong my entire life.

SPEAKER_00 47:09

So you thought you were singing the right ones, but they were very, very, very wrong.

SPEAKER_03 47:13

Oh, I no, I don't know the lyrics to anything, but I sing confidently, yes, and boldly and loudly, and they are all wrong. Yes. So now I have embraced that and I just make up new lyrics to things. Like when I used to like drive my kids to school and we would have the radio on, and I would just whatever thing that they were into, I would just make up new words. And they thought, oh, she's doing three fun. I'm like, no, it's because I don't know the words to anything and I don't want to be embarrassed because now you guys will judge me.

SPEAKER_00 47:38

I so I was I was at a swim meet. Isabel's Isabel's boyfriend was swimming up here because he swims collegiately, and he was swimming, they were his his college was swimming against or his university was swimming against his Xavier, and so I went to the swimming. And sitting there, Belle and I were talking, we were talking to, you know, her our boyfriend's mom, who I'm I'm good friends with, and she's like, Oh, have you met so and so? And I'm like, No. She's like, and then she starts saying, Oh my gosh, yes, we it's been a long time since we've seen each other. And you know, you start doing the panic, like Rolodex in your brain, like when did I when did I see this person? When did I meet this person? How do I know this person? And so she's like, Oh my gosh, yes, it's been so long. We like last time we saw each other was at one of my good friend's houses. No, and so I'm like, call my friend. I'm like, who what what what how do how do we know this person? And so it that always freaks me out when someone says that they rec they know me because we've met before or we hung out, and I'm like, and I start saying, Oh no, it's no nice to meet you again. Oh my gosh. It's so then you have to change it and be like, oh.

SPEAKER_03 48:48

Also, right now, I think there's like a dozen people who have friended me on Facebook, and I'm like, we have mutual friends, and I have no idea who they are.

SPEAKER_00 48:55

I love that. And I'm like, Do I know these people? What's so you always say, like, which mutual friends groups are we in? Are we in church groups? That's the problem. It is group. Are we in a combination of all of them? High school group, college group, like like which friend group are we in? I think they're like church groups. Oh, great group.

SPEAKER_03 49:14

Welcome, but I don't know who they are.

SPEAKER_00 49:16

Oh. Well, tell them you need to come up and talk to someone.

SPEAKER_03 49:20

I'm actually going to please introduce yourself and if you could just have your name tag printed. So very large on your church. So I could really ingrain that in my brain. We need to bring back business cards. Oh, yeah. That would be great. Or like, you know, like something more visual.

SPEAKER_00 49:35

I think I was supposed to order business cards. I've not done that yet.

SPEAKER_03 49:39

I just forget. I just I I can if I see it, I can commit it to memory. Yeah. If you say it to me in my ear, it's like when someone starts reading directions to me. I'm tapped out. If someone starts telling me how to get somewhere, I'm like, I'm not listening like at all.

SPEAKER_00 49:53

But I will listen to my my GPS on my phone tell me where to do all day long.

SPEAKER_03 49:57

Sure, I'll listen to that. But when someone's like, oh, you know, you turn at this.

SPEAKER_00 50:00

Because Isabel will do that. She'll pick up her her the phone and she'll start telling me, I'm like, don't tell me the directions. No, no, no, no. Just put that bad boy right there. Just put the phone down and let me. And then I still make it because I sometimes forget my left and my right, and I will I have to do the L's on the steering wheel. Don't make fun of me. I we I did that the other last week where I oh going to the swim meet. I turned right, and Isabel's like, it's said to turn left. I go, I did turn. She's like, Mom. And then it's going turn around. I can't believe it.

SPEAKER_03 50:35

I can't judge you because I just bought a slip cover for a chair the other day. Yes. And it was like there was something for it was for a recliner because we got a lazy boy, and it's ugly. I just there's no way around it. It's lazy boys are ugly, but they are wonderful. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 50:52

So they are ugly, but they are wonderful.

SPEAKER_03 50:54

They are wonderful, but they're they're just ugly.

SPEAKER_00 50:56

I mean, it it depends on what kind of aesthetic you're going for your house. Are you going for comfortable? That's what we always say. Are we going for comfort or are we going for it?

SPEAKER_03 51:01

Mine is cozy, comfortable, but the problem is it's it's it was like I have a green couch. You have a green couch? I'm in a green phase right now. You can't tell right now, but like what kind of green? I'll show you a picture.

SPEAKER_00 51:14

I I is it like hunter green or are we talking like fluorescent green? Like what?

SPEAKER_03 51:19

It's like a in between a hunter and a sage. So it means it's not light, but it's not dark. So you're going right back to the 70s, 60s with furniture?

SPEAKER_02 51:31

This is my second green couch. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00 51:35

I also had a green couch in the 1970s that we kept through the 80s. Are you are you furniture shame? I am 100% furniture shaming you. Like what happened, like browns and grays and will you look at what you're sitting on.

SPEAKER_03 51:53

This is a I I'm not afraid of color. You are not. Listen, I went away from colorful stuff. I had I had a beige life for quite a while. And then I went in into that millennial gray phase, and everything was like country farmhouse gray and very sterile. And when I was done with it, I was like, I'm done with it. Oh, you went bright. And so now it's green, and I I personally love it. As long as you love it, doesn't matter what anybody else thinks. Yes. But the other day I I posted actually I never posted.

SPEAKER_00 52:30

So does your lazy boy not match with your green?

SPEAKER_03 52:32

It didn't. The greens were different. So I tried to buy like a slip cover. Did it work? I didn't even know where I was getting with this. Yeah. Okay, anyways, it came with like it said like something that covers the left side and the right side. And I tossed the my son was helping me, and I tossed the one over to him, and he was like, Mom, this can't be right. And I was like, Yes, it is. This is the left. And he goes, That's this isn't the left. Whoops. It was because I was looking at the wrong way. The wrong way. Which, you know, you'd think, you know, it's like it's like the theater.

SPEAKER_00 53:00

Which left are we talking about? The audience left or the stage left?

SPEAKER_03 53:03

Well, that's uh I that's what I'm going to say from here. I'm like, I was going stage left. Sorry.

SPEAKER_00 53:07

Stage left, yes.

SPEAKER_03 53:08

I I was that's your Broadway background. That is my broad that's look at me pulling that out. See, and you think these chapters are closed forever. They are not. They are not. Your ministry chapter is not closed, your Broadway chapter is not closed.

SPEAKER_00 53:21

I am still waiting for my call to be on Broadway. I can't sing, I can't do anything, but I'm waiting.

SPEAKER_03 53:29

I don't nobody wants to hear any of my singing.

SPEAKER_00 53:31

Maybe I can just be a background dancer, which then would be lots of things jiggling at this point. I had to do jumping jacks. Whenever we have to do jumping jacks, I'm always like, seriously, you you want this body, jiggle, jiggle, jiggle. And then I try not to pee because that's the other thing is, you know, is any type of sneezing, coughing, jumping, running, sitting can cause me to pee.

SPEAKER_03 54:01

Oh my gosh. Well, we're gonna end this now because this is I went on a road so unhinged. So unhinged. I don't even know if this is an episode. So um It totally is an episode.

SPEAKER_00 54:12

Watch it be the most popular one too, because we go, they're like, This is this is what truly it is to be in Perimentapause. Listen to these two wack-a-doodle women. I just caught us wack-a-doodle. My gosh, what is wrong with that?

SPEAKER_03 54:24

Thanks for running with our feral hormones today. If you're snowed in, stay warm and we will see you next week.