Making Room for what God is Stirring Up Next!

SPEAKER_01 0:05

Hello and welcome back to Kind of Preachy, a day late. My name is Steph Moore.

SPEAKER_02 0:10

And I'm Casey Bryant. Why were we a day late? I mean, let's give a little bit of an explanation. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 0:16

Okay, so Friday, we generally record on Fridays, or at least we try. Although I will say the last few weeks we've been a little inconsistent. We have been. That's mainly because of me. Because, well, life is it is what it is. But on Friday, you have the most interesting My dogs. My parents' dog was at a dog sitter, and they called and said he had like an ear thing and tummy issues, and he needed to go to the vet. So I go to the vet and they said, This is all healable, but he is under stress and he needs to be like in a calm environment. Which I have a dog at my house too. That's not a calm environment. A dog sitter is not a calm environment. So I ended up basically having to spend the weekend at my parents' house just with their dog, having some really like quality bonding time.

SPEAKER_02 1:08

Did you have to clean up any of the mess?

SPEAKER_01 1:10

Sure did. Sure did. All over the house? No, he well, y'all don't want to hear about what he did in his crate, but it was gross. Oh, I'm sorry. It was gross. It's uh it's all fine. I love that dog. His name is Dingo. The baby. It's mine. No, sorry. Some people get that reference. So then we were gonna then we were gonna record, and I needed to get stuff out of my office so we could record. Yep. And the keypad was broken.

SPEAKER_02 1:38

And you guys don't have a backup key. Like it's only the keypad. So when that's down, it's couldn't get in. We showed up. We were ready. We were ready.

SPEAKER_01 1:49

Cool, we'll just grab the mics and get out of here. Oh, can't do that. They're locked in my office. So that was not going to work. So here we are on a Monday night because we both work. Yeah. So we're just we're rolling. And if my guess is if you're listening to this and you're somewhat around our age, your week probably didn't look like what you planned either.

SPEAKER_02 2:08

No, I think it's always the norm where our weeks completely look different than what we thought they were going to be. Because I did not realize I was going to go to Bloomington, Illinois until last minute. Because my my niece, her, she's a senior, they made it to stay for cheerleading and it's her last her last competition. So we decided to hop in the car and make the drive.

SPEAKER_01 2:30

Yeah. Well, we also added an x-ray into our we have an MRI scheduled um for my husband. Well, like, you know, we are of the age where something always hurts. Oh yeah, well, that's just normal. And so after like him, like really, you know, really whining, I shouldn't say that. He's not gonna be happy that I said that. He has been trying to tough it out. And basically, I just said, there's something really wrong. Yeah. So you need to go get it checked out. The x-ray didn't show anything. So we have an MRI scheduled, and yeah, so it's just how many more things can we throw into our stuff.

SPEAKER_02 3:06

It's never gonna be the X-ray, it's always gonna be the MRI that's gonna show it, but they have to do the X-ray first, which I think is just so stupid.

SPEAKER_00 3:11

I know.

SPEAKER_02 3:12

Because we're like, we know it's not broken, like it's not anything.

SPEAKER_01 3:15

But what I guess could it have been I don't know. What a doctor. But it is what it is. Well, one of the things that we have been talking about is we have been going through the Bible in a year. Yeah. And I feel like so what I should tell you on this is that we are now recording for YouTube. Yes, we are.

SPEAKER_02 3:42

Very exciting. I think it's frightening. I know, which is why we look we we look pretty, meaning we have makeup on. We're looking as pretty as we can for work and a full day of work already. That's a true story, because I did not have a chance to go home at all to try to refresh in.

SPEAKER_01 3:55

No. I did put some more lipstick on because it's my best. Yeah, I did add something there. So one of the things that we talked about, I don't know if it was last week, couple weeks ago, is you know, like things that God is leading us towards. Yes. I think we focus a lot about what God has led us out of. Yes. And not that we're like closing all those chapters, but there are things to look forward to. Yeah. And kind of reaching in and trying to reach new people with this podcast is one of those things, is while we love talking to the people that we know. We we yes, thank you for listening. Yes. How do you reach new people? And I think the truth is, is that's a video, and that is terrifying for me. What why? Because I have like self-body image issues. I wish you would think at 45 I would be over a lot of this stuff, and I am not. Oh no.

SPEAKER_02 4:50

Well, we talked about it because you know, I I keep looking at plastic surgeons. Can't afford one for the life of me. But I keep looking at I'm like, okay, well, I just I just and maybe if I win the lottery, I can do this someday.

unknown 5:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:04

So that's why I always wear baggy, baggy clothes is for my stomach. Well, I except for every picture I now look at myself. I'm doing this. Really? I don't know why. Like so I'm trying to like stick out my face, and that makes it even weirder. I I know because the last picture that they took of my of our of the family at the chilling competition, I look horrible. And I was doing this trying to not have the double chin. Wrong. Well, there's just no easy way for me to take a picture anymore.

SPEAKER_01 5:36

So you're gonna have to give us a little bit of grace. If you've heard some of this stuff before, consider this kind of a reintroduction of things because there are people who are on YouTube who have no idea who we are.

SPEAKER_02 5:48

Yes, they're gonna land on this page and go WTF.

SPEAKER_01 5:52

Look at it, I didn't cuss. I just WTF, look at the RBF. No, so you're gonna hear a little bit about, you know, like I said, we did a short intro for this first, kind of introducing ourselves. But there are things that like people are not going to get. So give us a little bit of grace. We came in with an agenda here today, and then we decided Nope, screw it. Let's let's do something totally different.

SPEAKER_02 6:18

And I still have no idea what that totally different is, but I'm follow- I'm following your lead. But I also follow your lead all the time.

SPEAKER_01 6:26

Like it's not following no, I think I'm it's not following my lead. It's just sometimes I usually have like the You have very clear from what the agenda in my head, and it's like, okay, we've got to rein it back in. We've got to rein it back in.

SPEAKER_02 6:39

Yes. Well, I think very clearly you have, you know, okay, this is where you feel like God is calling us this episode, and and where we're veering towards my my sister said to me, She's like, last week was really preachy. I go, it was. It has to be sometimes. Sometimes it does have to be. There are times that we are and then she gives me critiques, it makes me so happy because I'm like, okay, you're you're really listening.

SPEAKER_01 7:00

I which is good. I so so much of our what we talk about feels kind of light. And I do feel like we've been more on the preachy side the last few weeks. I think so too. And I don't mind. No. Because I think it needs to be said. Why it's called kind of preaching. Kind of preachy. I mean, well, and if you're with us on YouTube right now and I'm looking at a camera, which is the most bizarre thing.

SPEAKER_02 7:20

I have not, clearly.

SPEAKER_01 7:21

Now I am. Now I'm not. I mean, one of the reasons that we started this is because I feel like whether like you and I both worked in ministry, but I would say the average Christian woman, this has not been their experience. No, not at all.

SPEAKER_02 7:35

But they probably volunteered or been in groups or tried to somehow.

SPEAKER_01 7:39

Yes. At some point, you probably have tried to flex in, or maybe that was your past, maybe you were a part of it, or maybe you were like community. Yeah. I have been really open about saying community is tough for me right now. Yeah. And you have been really open that community is tough because you are not part of a church community right now because you haven't I have not I have not church shopped at all since I've left where I used to work. Because you were, yeah, you were going through a transition. So I so since we've talked a lot about stuff that's been a part of the past, I said, let's talk about things that are part of the future. Yeah. And we've been following the Bible recap. We have been. Right now, we are we are deep in Exodus. Yes, we are. It is Rule City.

SPEAKER_02 8:26

Which is why I'm gonna be honest, us being real, because we we also have social media and we we do to these hits where we talk about, hey, what stood out to us, or you know, what verse made us think or made us laugh or whatever, whatever gave us the feels. And I don't think I did anything today because there is just especially in Exodus, there are times where I'm like, I this is just a bunch of God telling us all of the things that we how how Aaron should be dressed or what the ark should look like. And I'm like, I I don't know what to write about.

SPEAKER_01 8:58

Yeah, there have been, I don't know, once or twice last week. I don't know. I think I either did it, I know there's at least one day I didn't do it, and it was just because my brain got overwhelmed, and I don't want to put stuff out there if God's not telling me to say it. And sometimes when you read the Bible, like the accomplishment is just I read the Bible.

SPEAKER_02 9:13

Well, one of my friends, Cindy, hey Cindy, she said to me, she sent me a a Facebook or a message on Instagram or Facebook here, which one, and she said, Oh my gosh, I couldn't come up with anyone. I'm I'm glad you find found something. I'm like, that's why I didn't say anything yesterday, because I didn't want to push it. So the fact that some people are like, I'm struggling too, trying to find something that is hitting me deep and meaningful to me.

SPEAKER_01 9:38

Yeah, today was the golden calf.

SPEAKER_02 9:40

I know.

SPEAKER_01 9:41

And I think one of the things that stood out for me, which I have to say, like I probably haven't thought that before, was I was remembering being a kid in learning these things. Yeah. And I I grew up going to church, Sunday school every weekend, grew up Lutheran, so you know, died Catholic, um, going through catechism classes, going through the Bible and all that kind of stuff, and then went, you know, 10 plus years working in different churches. And so I've taught this, and I worked primarily in children's and youth ministry. Okay. So I've taught on this many, many times. And I always remember thinking like a golden calf, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard of. I and like, who does that? And then God really spoke to me this morning and was like, You don't think you you don't think you got idols? Oh, yes. So well, I mean, and one of the things that kind of hit me was like, my pride is an idol for me many times. And I remember there was one time that I was working at a church and I had next to no budget. And we were putting on this kind of like a VBS sort of a thing, that it was an evening program, it was for families, and I was really excited about it. Yeah. I was also not excited the fact that there was like no money to spend, which is very typical, super typical. Very normal. We had tons of volunteers and we had people donating things, but like, you know, when you put on a community event, like you wanna you want it to be as welcoming as possible, and that takes money. Yeah. So big church, small church, it all, you know, it's hard to do things on a donation basis only. So I ended up like buying this Facebook group that had other people who were doing a similar program, and I was looking at like people who were like anywhere within an hour and a half that was doing a similar program. I'm like, let's get together, like, you know, let's if we do this and you guys do this, and we'll all jointly buy things together and we'll share, we'll do the share of the donations. Okay. And I'm thinking, I'm brilliant. It is brilliant. I mean, it kind of was, and you have to think about this is not today. This is this is like 90s, maybe no. Late 90s.

SPEAKER_02 11:55

You're in high school right now. No, I was in high school.

SPEAKER_00 11:58

I just want to throw up a little bit over there.

SPEAKER_02 12:02

Fine.

SPEAKER_00 12:02

It was not in the the previous. I was in college in the 90s.

SPEAKER_01 12:07

I was too. But that yeah, no, I'm this was like early 2000s. Okay, early 2000s. Anyway, so our financial secretary or whatever her title was, I turn in my expense stuff and she's like, This is really impressive. And I'm like, you would not believe the work that I did. Yeah. To like get this. And she goes, the work that you did. Oh. And it hit me like a ton of bricks. I mean, I'm not saying I didn't have a good idea. She just pulled out the golden calf on you. But she she did. It was, I mean, I was looking for, I was looking for a huge pat on the back. Yeah, you were looking for the praise. I was looking for the praise, and that has continued to be a theme in my life because I think I want to feel worthy. Yeah. And as I have stepped out of like the ministry stuff, there are still things that I still want to feel important.

SPEAKER_02 13:02

Well, we all want to be told good job.

SPEAKER_01 13:05

I don't think there's anything wrong with being told good job. I love telling people good job. I love hearing good job. But we've shared in the past of, you know, there's things that we feel like God's calling us to do, but it is freaking scary. Being on video to me is really scary.

SPEAKER_02 13:18

Well, you look fantastic.

SPEAKER_01 13:20

Thanks. I don't feel that way. And if you see me doing something weird, I feel like I I ate like a protein ball like right before this. Why would no one can smell it? I feel like it's in my teeth. So I feel like no one can see it. I can't I can't see it, and I'm sitting next to you. Okay, good. Because I keep trying to like move my tongue. Which I did not need to identify that, clearly. I was thinking like okay. Okay. But it's scary. Yeah. The idea of writing a book is scary. The thought of working a job that we don't feel very well qualified for is very scary. Is really scary. The thought of maybe that just being a launch pad for something else is also scary. Or placeholder. Yeah. Yeah. So no, like if we're in if you're in a rebound job, if it's like where you're supposed to go and grow forever, I mean, who knows? But we know that God has really good stuff for us. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:21

I agree with that. And it's, you know, with with the story that really hit me was a couple of things that I didn't I don't know why I didn't do a hit today. You still can. I technically yeah, I can I still can. Is one, I always fall back on Aaron blaming everybody else. Because I feel like it just diverts the blame like right away. Well, they made me do it.

SPEAKER_01 14:46

Is that doesn't that feel like just I I feel like everybody in their life knows somebody who's like, yeah, it's never your fault. It's never your fault.

SPEAKER_02 14:55

And I find it also I find this time around, I found it so fascinating that they collected all the jewelry, all the gold, and they just Aaron threw it in the fire and it spit out this calf. Like I don't know, I always thought maybe he molded the calf, but it like reading the verse, it it's just said, and out came a calf, a golden calf. So weird. I know. Oh, and something I mean And I'm like, why why a calf? Because it wasn't God, and then they all started praising it right away, too. But the funny thing is, they were getting ready to celebrate God. They're like, Oh, we need a celebration.

SPEAKER_01 15:32

Give me your jewelry, here comes a calf. And honestly, is that not just the most on-brand human thing where God gives us a blessing and we're like, how can we make this about us? Yes. Also, yeah. I I have no words, but I'd like to think I'm better than that. And then I find myself doing, I mean, I'm not fashioning, you know, golden calves, but I I am fashioning myself to be on a pedestal sometimes. Yes. And that and me too. I feel like probably everybody does, but it certainly called me out today of like, and it's kind of a weird thing, is like, okay, we feel like God is calling us to do this thing. And it and this is let me say, this is a platform, this is not a pedestal. Correct. And I I don't want anybody ever thinking like, oh, they think they're so smart.

SPEAKER_02 16:28

Or they're because we're well, I am not. Well, no, I am smart. You are smart. I am smart. That's one of my issues that I struggle with.

SPEAKER_01 16:37

Yeah, I will does it uh listen. Anybody or their brother can pick up a microphone and start a podcast. Correct. Or they can honestly, just about anybody could, you know, say, I'm starting a church. That is true. Listen, so whatever position that you're in doesn't necessarily like that's not your qualifier. Our qualifier of why we want to do this is because we just feel like God has was not done with us and we didn't know as much as we love the Bible recap. Yeah. Which I feel like that's probably I I don't know this for a fact, but I would think that's probably the largest Christian podcast out right now. It's like consistently high up there. And I think it's amazing that she has convinced people to get in their Bibles every single day. And this is year four for both of us, right? Yes. Yes, it's year four for both of us doing it. But one of the things, and I think this is where we first had the podcast idea was I wish there was more discussion. Like, because she's prim and she's proper.

SPEAKER_02 17:43

She yes, she's amazing. And she does. I have so much love for you, Terry Cobble. And she she talks about her struggles all the time too. I think we go into our struggles a lot because we just not that we're Debbie Downers, but sometimes we're just like, man, our lives are really hard. And the stage that we're at in our life is really, really hard.

SPEAKER_01 18:05

And I would say I'm probably not even in a place right now where I'm like, oh, it's gosh, it's things are, you know, but I'm surrounded by people who are they're in it. They are in the trenches and they are struggling. Yeah. And that's, you know, whether I mean I have some family members right now who I know listen who are dealing with all the things. Yeah. And I one, you know, aunt in particular, I know she listens every week. I the things that she is dealing with is not my ever my business to share, but it is like astronomically like too much for one person to handle.

SPEAKER_02 18:53

And now I always hate the the which is always false. The guy will never give you more than you can handle, which is crap.

SPEAKER_01 19:00

No, because he's asking you to go to him.

SPEAKER_02 19:02

That's I mean, that's the whole point. Because you can't handle it, you have to go to God.

SPEAKER_01 19:05

And she is so freaking faithful. She is like, I'll send her a text and I'll just say, you know, I'm I'm thinking of you today, I'm praying for you. And she is so joyful in her weakness, and it's so admirable. And then I have other spectrums of people in my life who are, they are not, not only are they not kind of preachy, they are just this is not their jam whatsoever. I'm very fidgety. Well, because we don't normally share a couch. This is a good idea.

SPEAKER_02 19:36

No, this is I normally fidget all the time. Okay, so you said that she this is not her jam at all.

SPEAKER_01 19:40

No, no, no. I'm saying there's other people in my life who like church is not a part of their life whatsoever.

SPEAKER_02 19:45

Church is not a part of my life right now, whatsoever. Yeah. And I was out to lunch with one of my former teachers. She was actually my tutor when I had to, after I had to saw a psychologist, and they said, okay, there's something wrong. And so I went to a tutor and she was my tutor, and I love her. She's amazing. So she took me out to lunch last week, and she asked me, she's like, Okay, Casey, I know you've you've left your church. Where are you going? And I'm like, oh my gosh, people. I'm like, I'm not going to a church. But I haven't given I I'm not deconstructing my faith. I still believe all the things. I just just not going.

SPEAKER_01 20:24

And you're not not going forever. No. And if you listen to a couple episodes back, you know, she goes, you she isn't like you're not sitting there right next to me. We're bumping. I just said dude.

unknown 20:36

Gosh.

SPEAKER_01 20:37

But you have you have a plan. I do have a plan. And right now it is you're there's some restoration of some feelings for your family.

SPEAKER_02 20:45

Feelings for my family, feelings for trusting uh church, not really church, because it's not the churches is is Jesus. It's just, you know, just going in where I feel like I can uh I can fit in. Actually, I just want to go into a church and hide. And that's that's what's the hardest thing is because smaller churches you really can't go in and hide. And I my biggest fear is the is the hey, who's new here? Stand up. And no, I don't I don't want to do any of that. Or if you see the hey, if you're new here, put your flashers on. What have you have you ever been to a church?

SPEAKER_01 21:26

Oh what do you mean your flashers? What does this mean?

SPEAKER_02 21:29

Like when you're pulling in the parking lot, because they want to oh want to really go over the top for the new person to make them feel welcome. So they're like, hey, put your flashers on. We have a special parking spot for you, which is up front. And red carpet service, amazing if that's what you want. You better believe there is no way in hell I'm throwing my flashers on to say that I'm new coming to a church. Because I just want to sneak. I'm the person who just wants to sneak in and see okay, is this vibe? Is this my vibe? Is this is this am I feeling it? And I know you have to go multiple times before you can really decide. Like one, you should never judge a church once. You should go multiple times.

SPEAKER_01 22:12

So I guess like when I left my my last job in ministry, I craved the dark auditorium. I don't know if I could have done a smaller church because I wanted to hide. And I didn't really take any time off. Like you're taking some time off.

SPEAKER_02 22:31

I I yeah, it's been it's been since June since I've I have been inside of a church.

SPEAKER_01 22:38

I didn't give myself any time off. I had a newborn and well, she was probably a couple months old at that point when we we had left. Well, I never went, I well to be fair. We had tried to stay at the church for a little bit after I'd had her, after I had, after I'd quit my job. Yeah. I'd put my notice in, and if you leave a church staff position, it is I don't think it's wise to stay there as someone who just goes there.

SPEAKER_02 23:07

I've seen some people do it, and it's it's been the best thing for them. And some people who I have had to completely walk away and go to a different church.

SPEAKER_01 23:16

Well, I mean, for me, like there was somebody who else had taken over. And how I I don't know how they could have I don't think they could have done it effectively if they were being consciously compared to somebody who was still in the building. This has nothing to do with you, I'm really talking about me.

SPEAKER_00 23:34

I know. I'm going to say no comment.

SPEAKER_01 23:37

I I no, I I no, I was truly only speaking at me because I would have little kids, you know, running up to me, like, when are you coming back? When are you coming? You know, like because they still saw me, so it was hard to establish the new person. The new person. And then they didn't last very crazy long, you know, like and this is not super uncommon when transitions happen. Like one, it's like the domino effect. One thing happens and then it's usually a domino effect of things changing.

SPEAKER_02 24:05

We when we've talked about that, and when transition happens, there's a couple of things that you realize with transition is one, you're not nearly as important as you think you are. You're tough lesson. Very, very hard lesson to learn. Everyone is replaceable. That's when like my pride, my ego, all of that comes into effect. Like, oh yeah, like easily replaceable. And I think we all have these high hopes of like, you know, we're going to be the most rememberable person doing the most amazing stuff for Jesus. And then when we transition out, we realize quickly that, oh, wait, I was doing it for Jesus and he was so happy, but also at the same time, I'm very replaceable.

SPEAKER_00 24:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:49

And also, I mean, let's be honest, the disciples were well, one of them was definitely replaceable.

SPEAKER_01 24:59

You know, they there are sound effects on this thing.

SPEAKER_02 25:02

Absolutely, do not even do this. They are so cheesy.

SPEAKER_01 25:04

So bad. So bad. Don't you dare. One of these days, I'm gonna pull it out here.

SPEAKER_02 25:08

No, I'm saying no.

SPEAKER_01 25:10

I'm gonna get a bigger one with more.

SPEAKER_02 25:12

We're totally digressing. Again.

SPEAKER_01 25:16

We're we're good at it. We're really good at it. So I don't know. I feel like we have spent a lot of time talking about past stuff. Yes. And I'm ready for the future. Uh not to say we won't touch on things.

SPEAKER_02 25:30

But I don't even know what the future holds. I think that's what's kind of exciting because I have zero clue. I was very, very clear on where my future was six months ago, and now I have zero idea. I'm just walking out in faith every single day. Like, okay, God, what do you got for me today? How can you use me?

SPEAKER_01 25:50

Which is that okay, is that like terrifying or freeing to wake up every day with that?

SPEAKER_02 25:59

I even three months ago, maybe even a month ago, I would have said it is terrifying. But I have really started to understand that it's actually completely freeing. To know that my job is just a job. I go in from, you know, I do my work and then I leave, and that what God has in store for me afterwards is great.

SPEAKER_01 26:25

So what's really interesting about like that is My new job, I should say.

SPEAKER_02 26:29

My new job is is is is it's a great job. Grateful for it. But when I when I'm there, I'm there, and when I'm gone, I'm gone. And that's how I feel about my job too. And that's exactly how it is. Which is not which is not the case. So for me, which has never been the case for me. Yeah. So this this having a job where I'm just as soon as I clock out, I'm done. That is a whole new future for me. Like a whole new, like, oh, I get to focus on other things other than stressing out about work and what things are going on. Yeah. And that hit me really hard when I was at gymnastics. With I was at Faith, my my youngest, she takes tumbling lessons, and my nephew-in-law, God love him, he was there, and for the first 45 minutes, he was on his computer working the whole time. And I and which he has to because you know, things were happening in his work, and I'm and I was just sitting there in my mind thinking, man, I that was me for 20 some odd years of my life, depending on what job I had, especially working in ministry, because you get phone calls or you know, this is happening, or things are things are going down, or you know, what whatever the case is, and so you're always on. And to be off work and to totally be off, it is so freaking amazing. That is so because now I get to focus on my friends or friends, family, mainly family, and get to sit there and watch, you know, Faith learn how to do a backhand spring, and now she's working on round of back handsprings. Because before I would be there, but I wouldn't be there.

SPEAKER_01 28:05

Yeah, you'd be texting back and forth because somebody needed you.

SPEAKER_02 28:09

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 28:10

So, okay. So that's totally what I'm excited about my future. So in going forward, yes, and like new things, what is so how do you okay? One of the things that we talked about in ministry all the time was casting vision. Yeah. I liked vision casting. Yes, I know you love vision casting, but I think it looks different when you're casting vision for ministries, yes, and communities. And it looks different when you're doing it for your life. Yes. So what does looking forward like you just said, you wake up and you're like, okay, guy, what do you have for me now? I am such well, I listen, are you a type A or type B person? Depends. I can I can I can flow either way.

SPEAKER_02 29:04

Is there a type C? I don't even know if that's a thing. I don't know. But I honestly can like in every test that I've ever taken, depending on where where I am in my life, it has it has come out differently. Either I'm, you know, a high leader, yeah, or I'm a support, depending on where I am in my life. Oh, I I mean I can see that. I would say And so when you say, like, are you type A or type B, I can I can flow either way. I can come in and and command a room and lead a room. Yes. Or I can go in the back and hide.

SPEAKER_01 29:41

I am in a really tough spot in the tough's not the right word. There's something about being in your 40s where you just don't give a flying flip anymore about things. And that's my other issue now. I'm very much unfiltered now. And I think I was able to be like organized and let kind of things take course. And now I don't know if it's just being unfiltered or if I'm impatient. Okay. Maybe I'm both. I just don't care. But that's where I am. What does it look like now? Like, so if you have the freedom now to have these dreams and plans, like how do you do it now outside of ministry? Because I would say the majority of people who are listening are probably not people who are sitting in ministry right now.

SPEAKER_02 30:30

Correct. So meaning dreams, like, okay, starting writing a book. Is that is that what kind of dreams you're talking about? This podcast, which we're actually we're we're doing it. Look at us, look at us do it. Let us go. Look at us go. I I for me, I'm not there yet. No. I'm I'm still just enjoying the fact that I've been employed for two months. Yeah, two months now. Today, as of today. I'm fighting a real urge to use the hand clap sound. But I'm just uh doing, you know, I'm happy that I'm been employed for two months and happy that yeah, I get a paycheck. I'm grateful that my kids are in school, uh, two in college and one in middle school. Happy that basketball season, because she's cheers. Yeah. Sixth grade basketball. That's I'm a seventh grade dancer. Oh, it's that's can be painful sometimes. But uh, she also played soccer, and that was also very painful to watch little little ones playing soccer. It's cute for a while, and then you're like, oh my gosh, when are they actually gonna learn how to play? But I you know, I'm we're getting ready to go into a season where it's we we've got nothing, and I am super excited about that. You have no idea how excited I was for Super Bowl. And I didn't and I did nothing for Super Bowl because uh the the I don't want to go into it, but yes, my first year in 19 years where I where I did nothing for Super Bowl. I was so freaking happy. Uh yeah. I woke up on Sunday, I'm like, this is the best day ever. Amazing.

SPEAKER_01 32:22

And I got up early and I volunteered. Which is and I volunteered the night before too. Yeah, you were amazing. That was awesome. Uh actually, no, I no, we're uh if you are on watching us on YouTube now, like listen, if you are uh listening to the podcast and you know this, but let's just for recap, I still attend the church that you used to work at. Correct. And we think it's great. Yeah. Like there's no there's no weird beef or anything like that.

SPEAKER_02 32:52

I am grateful that you're still going there. I'm grateful that you're still volunteering there. It makes me happy.

SPEAKER_01 32:58

So yeah, we digress for a minute, but like, so sometimes we're gonna pop in and be there anymore for me personally. And that's okay.

SPEAKER_02 33:05

And that's fine.

SPEAKER_01 33:07

But can I ask you the reason why or can I tell you the reason that I'm asking about like what does it look like to like really dream again of like Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:18

I'm stirring. What do you mean by your stirring? I my like dreaming big. Well, we know we've we've talked about the book. How yeah, it's still there. Have you picked it back up?

SPEAKER_01 33:31

If you listen last week two weeks ago. I don't know, whatever. Um I had shared that I had written the majority of a book and then okay, I'm gonna be real honest here. The person who told me it wasn't in my wheelhouse was my husband.

SPEAKER_02 33:46

Oh man, husbands can be so brutally honest sometimes. And I don't you just want to tell him I love you, but shut up. I've never said that to my husband.

SPEAKER_01 33:57

He did not say it to be mean to me. He was just being honest, and and that when that during that time frame, he probably was right. It wasn't the right time for me to do anything. That was probably pushing a dream that I wanted for myself. Okay. Anyway, it all got brought up because I had said I had I'm really good at doing things 75% of the way. Yep. And then as soon as I hit resistance, I'm just like, oh well, God doesn't want me to do that anymore. Which is not actually the case. It's, you know, resistance can be there for listen, the rejection can be for my protection, but that is not always the case. No. At least for that. So he had said, we gone on this walk, and I was like, Yeah, I'm gonna, you know, this is what I want to do, this is my idea. And he's like, that maybe the right thing for you. Do you feel like that's anyway? It was a really nice way of saying, like, I don't think this is for you. Oh, and uh he never he had never read a page, to be honest with you. I had never shared any of it.

SPEAKER_02 34:57

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 34:58

Well, that okay, Matt, that was a bold statement to make. I don't even ever remember he remembers, like, we were on a he's like, I didn't say that. Yeah, he is 100% gonna defend himself right now. I I'm not mad at him. No, no, my feelings were very hurt.

SPEAKER_02 35:14

But and and maybe God was using him to tell you, okay, you you have it, but the last 25% is not till later on.

SPEAKER_01 35:23

But what I have to say about, yeah, so I so I so two weeks ago, whatever we were, whenever we were in here, right before we walked in, we were getting ready to talk about like something, I don't remember what the topic was, but I got the email from the domain provider saying, Do you want to renew this? For your book. For the book.

SPEAKER_02 35:45

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 35:46

And and you asked me like the like, well, what did you decide to do?

SPEAKER_02 35:50

I did. What did you decide to do?

SPEAKER_01 35:52

We're renewing the domain.

SPEAKER_02 35:54

You are that's a big step.

SPEAKER_01 35:56

It's a massive step because that means you're doing it. Yeah, that means you're finishing the book. And my pride says, I want to have a publisher. My pride says, I want someone supporting all of this.

SPEAKER_02 36:08

And oh, that's 100% my pride. That with a book, like I don't want to write a book just to self-publish.

SPEAKER_01 36:18

I I know, I I know. So I'm I'm I'm gonna do it.

SPEAKER_02 36:21

The fact that you can self-publish is also awesome.

SPEAKER_01 36:24

There's nothing wrong with it. I mean, really good.

SPEAKER_02 36:26

There's so many people who have self-published and amazing books.

SPEAKER_01 36:30

I think it's because I don't know how to do it. Like, I want it's not necessarily the pride thing, I want the guy.

SPEAKER_02 36:34

Which is crazy because you're somebody who once you want to do something, you research everything about it.

SPEAKER_01 36:39

So you oh, I'm an all, all in person.

SPEAKER_02 36:41

Yes, you are. Yeah. You're all in.

SPEAKER_00 36:44

Or I'm all out.

SPEAKER_02 36:45

No, well, I mean, it's funny because even like with the with with the podcast, you were all in for two years ago and then stopped. But you had everything.

SPEAKER_01 36:57

I had everything and I just kind of put it away and I was like, it's not the time. And if it ever comes back, and I knew I was waiting for you.

SPEAKER_02 37:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:05

You didn't know I was waiting for you. Well, I appreciate it. I mean, maybe somewhere you knew that. Clear. Well, God knew You know what's funny is that when we'd put it, I mean we talked about this before, but when we put it to the side, like it was really me putting it aside because like you just stopped talking about it. I I did. It was just like you, I but I understood you were in a position where you could not do it. Yes, my and so we just didn't even talk about it. It was just like we it was like, yes, we're gung-ho, and then like we just never talked about it. Yep. And then when I reached out to you after you had moved on from your job, like one of the first things you said was, Well, it's time to start that podcast. I was like, I knew she still remembered. Uh-huh. And then she was like, But wait, I'm actually not ready to meet with you. I know. Give me, give me some months. Give me some time. Give me some time. It all worked out. But it all worked out, yeah. Listen, this is not just stirring about the book. No. Okay, what else? I don't know. Have you ever had the feelings of like God is like getting ready to do something with you? And you can't, I there, I can't put a finger on it. I can just tell you that I am jittery, I'm excited, and this only happens before I feel like God's about to do something.

SPEAKER_02 38:07

That I'm glad you are. I'm I am on the the chill. And I'm rolling and I'm rolling with it. And I don't know, but I honestly I think that's what I'm doing right now, even with with us, is I'm rolling with it. I always say this when I'm when I come in, I can't, I every single time, what do I say? I'm gonna follow your lead.

SPEAKER_01 38:27

I am waiting for the day she comes in and she's like, I got this. I honestly think it's And it will come because that's the Casey that I know.

SPEAKER_02 38:37

Well, and I'm I think part of it is because I've led for so long and so much different aspects.

SPEAKER_01 38:46

And I had a big break and I'm and I'm like, I don't know. I'm ready for my starring role. I'm just kidding.

SPEAKER_02 38:53

I know I I I am a hundred percent right now happy sitting in the back going, you know, I will follow somebody else's lean, and I'm okay with that.

SPEAKER_01 39:03

Well, oh last week we talked about uncomfortable conversations and uncomfortable topics, and I had said I had a like a rough work conversation. What I didn't share was that my boss had said, Hey, how you know, like, how are things going? And I was just kind of recapping, you know, like this was we had the meeting, this is kind of the results of it, you know, this is this is what we're doing. I feel supported. And he was like, that's great. And I I don't know what possessed me. Because let me just say, I work in a really small office. Yeah. There's there's not really any room for growth. It's just this is the job that God plopped in my lap, and I was like, it was here for a reason. It was the right people, it was the right circumstances, it was the right schedule. I don't know what possessed me, but I looked at my boss and I said, listen, I I understand that I come across hot sometimes. Not hot in appearance, clearly. I mean coming in hot. Coming in hot in appearance. Not appearance. I almost said it like she said it again. You are hot, but you also come in like I am gung-ho, let's go. Yes, I come in gung-ho, let's go. I come in with passion, I come in like kind of having maybe more gumption than one in my position needs to have. And the truth is, is that I when you say like you're not in like an elitery place right now, I'm and I am I have probably never worked in a job that had no opportunity for growth.

SPEAKER_02 40:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:38

Ministry or I was an entrepreneur, I worked as much as I mean, I work, you know, like I the sky was the limit to how much I wanted to grow or not grow it. So I I told him, I said, listen, I I understand, but I have never worked in a job where I I said, I know in some of the things that I came across to these people whom I love, I'm not their boss. So I am like, if you need to take me down a peg on this, like, please. How is that admitting then? It kind of flew out of my mouth, and as I was saying it, I was like, Oh, it was like God was telling me something in that moment at the exact same moment was flying out of my mouth. And he's kind of looking at me wide-eyed, and I'm like, and he's like, I'm sure he was like, Is she asking for a raise? Is she asking? What is she what is she asking? And really, it was just God just saying, like, you might have been out of line here. Yeah. And he told me I wasn't out of line, which was nice. That was very nice of you. That was great. Yeah, that was full of grace. But there is something going on in my body right now that I cannot explain. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:51

I so for so for me on the other end, so I had my very first volunteer orientation on Friday. I was supposed to have three, but two of we moved because of the snow.

SPEAKER_01 42:06

We live in northern Kentucky, so it's it was snowy.

SPEAKER_02 42:08

It was snowing really bad. And so I have been with this hospice, and I've never worked in hospice a day in my life. So I've two months working in hospice, and so I'm very excited for my very first volunteer. I have all my information, I have all my, you know, my my slides, my Google slides, getting ready to do it, and she comes in and it's this amazing, amazing woman who has been volunteering in different hospices for the last 15 years or working in a hospice. So I look at her, because when I ask her like what she does, and she tells me all those things, I said, Oh, okay, so I'm not going to try to embarrass myself because you could probably teach this to me. Because I've been doing this for two months and you know way more than me. And she started laughing. And so I just gave her the folder of like, here's all the information, you know it. You know, here's what we need, here's all the documents that I need you to sign. Here's what, you know, the tests I need you to take, blah, blah, blah, blah. And she looked at me, she's like, this was the best orientation I've ever had.

SPEAKER_01 43:06

Wait, hold on. I'm gonna do a callback for you here. Oh, why? Well, I thought it was awesome. No, no, that is awesome. Yes. Well, let me tell you why I think this could be more awesome for you. Oh, okay, great. I remember just a few weeks ago, you were sharing a story about how you walked in a place and it was with another pastor, and you chose not to speak up about what you did. Yep. And you chose to hang back because, you know, you're whatever. Like you just you weren't feeling like sharing.

SPEAKER_02 43:41

Yes, because we have a chaplain for for our hospice. We have a chaplain, yes.

SPEAKER_01 43:46

Have you told him what you what you did in the past?

SPEAKER_02 43:49

So, no, because he resigned, but I did reach out and said, FYI, if you need a chaplain in the meantime to help out here and there, I am a commissioner. Pastor. Yes. So I did say it. You did. I did. I am so proud of you. I know. I think I'm still commissioned. Either way, I'm still a pastor. But like between like our social worker, because they're using like other therapists and social workers, and I'm like, if you need me to go to someone is asking for a chaplain, and some the per our chaplain from Dayton, Ohio is unable to come down. I can I cannot do that.

SPEAKER_01 44:26

But I want to hear someone came in and was like, hey, I I I've done this job, I know what I'm doing, and I'm willing to come under you. I think for you specifically to say if there's an opportunity to be like this is still a usable part of me. And that that part of your identity is not totally.

SPEAKER_02 44:54

Yeah, even I'm probably no longer officially commissioned since I'm no longer part of that church, which is fine. But as far as being pastoral, yeah, I can absolutely do in a heartbeat and would love to do. Yeah. So I'm I'm stepping in little, little babysit.

SPEAKER_01 45:14

I am so freaking proud of you.

SPEAKER_02 45:15

Oh, well, thank you. I know what I alma sent you a text of like screenshotting that what I said. But I'm like, okay, I'm not going to boast or I'm not going to be anything.

SPEAKER_01 45:25

I'm just going to be like, it's not boasting. This has been, I have been praying for this for you.

SPEAKER_00 45:32

Oh, I don't know if we're still recording on YouTube anymore.

SPEAKER_01 45:36

Because I don't see it. And that is scary. No? I don't know how this works.

SPEAKER_00 45:42

Wait, did it die?

SPEAKER_01 45:43

It might have died.

unknown 45:44

Ah!

SPEAKER_02 45:45

So you're gonna get part of it. I don't know where this went off. It might be just a partial YouTube, but it's like maybe this isn't YouTube at all.

SPEAKER_01 45:53

We'll have to figure this out. I have no idea. Maybe we'll do snippets. Listen. Maybe this will be snippets of social media. Listen, I told you we don't know we don't know what we're doing. No, we have no idea what we're doing. For as many things as I'm excited about, there are many things that I know nothing about. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 46:09

And so I I think it's fascinating that we're both looking forward to our futures and to what is, but you're looking like you're excited about your passion, and I'm excited about chilling out. I don't even know what it is. Yeah, I have no idea what it is. And I love that I'm hanging on to your coattails. Makes me happy. Free to your life. That's what I'm doing. Hanging on.

SPEAKER_01 46:31

Well, but yeah, the funny thing is, yes, I mean the whole book thing came up, and I'm like, yeah, I I need to finish that. I don't know exactly what's gonna happen with that. Yeah. But there is a little, I don't know what I can I can't well I shouldn't even say a little big. I can't even identify what piece of it is. But there's pieces, like, you need to do this because God asked you to finish it. Yeah. But there's the other piece of me that's like, I have a feeling that's not even like that's just an obedience thing to do it. Yeah. That's not even the thing. Interesting. But I like That's why I'm asking about God-sized dreams, because I'm like, because I don't, I feel like he's brewing a dream that I haven't even had yet. Does that even make sense?

SPEAKER_02 47:06

No, I think it totally makes sense. And I love that. And I can tell that it's itching because one, you've been itching for a little bit because God told you to cut down a lot of things in your life, and that is so not you, where you you're constantly like the what's the next thing? What's you know, what's my next project? What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? And where God's like, yeah, you're not doing anything preparing you for what's coming next. And I think that's where I am, is like I'm I am, and I think it's okay. I think it's okay to be excited to to to chill, to not have anything for at least for me, because there's some people who are like me who are like, man, I'm just excited that there is nothing that is huge on the horizon for me right now. I'm gonna say that and something's gonna freaking happen.

SPEAKER_01 48:00

I don't know. I kind of wish the YouTube was still recording right now because you'd see my face. Like, I I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm like geared up and I don't know what's happening.

SPEAKER_02 48:11

That's my face. I know, because we're making we're making faces. I'm so excited for you.

SPEAKER_01 48:17

Yeah, I don't know what we're excited for. I don't know what's gonna be.

SPEAKER_02 48:20

It might be, I don't know. And I think that's my you know, when I you wake up when I wake up every morning and say, Okay, God, use me. Here I am, use me. Which is a very scary phrase to say to God. Because you you have no idea how he's going to use you. But you know what?

SPEAKER_01 48:34

I'm so glad you've said it because that's not exactly how I'm praying in the morning. I mean, not that I'm not saying I don't know. Actually, you know what? I'm not identifying how do you want to use me. Yeah. It's more like I'm probably still putting God in a box there of like, this is what I'm good at, God. Yeah. How can you use this? I really need to identify it more of the you're the creator of everything. You can do whatever you want with me. Yeah. Or you can you choose to not use any of this stuff and use me in a totally different direction.

SPEAKER_02 49:11

Yeah. And I think that's the thing. Well, I probably for both of us is I I like that you said, you know, we've always been going towards, okay, God, I'm good in these areas. And I have been good in these areas for a long time. And I think God's like, yeah, we're gonna put those on the burner right now, like on the side burner. Yeah. Not worry about those.

SPEAKER_01 49:31

Yeah, I think it's interesting. Like right now, we're talking about rules and obedience and discipline, and we've been touching on that a lot. And there is something, listen, and and these are all pertinent. But there is this every time I go and try and do my hit on that, yeah, there's something in me that is just like, thank you, Jesus, that I was born in a time that you were accessible to me like instantly. Instantly, that we didn't have to wait. That I don't have to wait, that I don't have to wash my hands gold faces. And you know, yeah. To find Jesus is not ceremonial. Yeah. For you right now, like finding Jesus isn't necessarily that you have to go find membership right now. No, you will find something at ceremonial.

SPEAKER_02 50:20

I will find something. God will put the right church in front of me at the right time, it'd be great. Very excited. Yeah. I know, and I know I need effort. Like I know that there's there's effort on my part, but that's just not what I am. And like when I try to force things, so when I came out of ministry, one thing that I was really excited about is I, you know, I'm a writer, I had all these articles, and I posted them on my on my personal blog that we set that one of my really good friends helped me set up. And I had all these big ambitions that we're gonna do, we're gonna do these. I was gonna write every all the time, and I was gonna put out newsletters, and I did it for like the first two months, and then I'm like, no, that I'm not feeling that either. So if I have if I have an article to write, if something comes up to me, hits me, great, I'm gonna write it. But I'm not gonna force, I've I think that's my big thing. I'm not forcing anything anymore.

SPEAKER_01 51:10

That's big. It's huge. Well, I think one of the things that I mean I've touched on, and I and I think one of the reasons that I I've not been excited and I haven't had these like these feelings is because I just I haven't felt like I've belonged anywhere. Because even though you go the community stuff has been super hard for me.

SPEAKER_02 51:36

We talk about that. We we talk about that pretty frequently. And it's still it's still struggling.

SPEAKER_01 51:41

I mean I but I don't I think that I have been putting responsibility of that on other people. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 51:50

Ooh.

SPEAKER_01 51:51

I know. And I'm releasing it.

SPEAKER_02 51:56

Great.

SPEAKER_01 51:58

It's up to me if I want to be involved in something or not be involved in it. True.

SPEAKER_02 52:03

You definitely have to make the effort.

SPEAKER_01 52:05

I want, listen, I want community. There's just no ifs, ands, or buts about it. I want that. I want it for my family. We're just we're in a strange season of I have my oldest looking at churches with her, you know, her boyfriend, you know. They are sometimes attend with us, sometimes they go where his family is. In fact, he is getting his master's and uh uh a ministry degree.

SPEAKER_02 52:41

He wants to be he wants to be a minister too.

SPEAKER_01 52:43

I think more of the the education side of ministry. But that comes with a babies are leaving the nest. They are. You know, you've got two in college. My son's 16 and he is he's struggled being a part of of church. This is not this is not a knock. This is this just I just don't want anybody here this is a knock on anything, but he's a really a really sensitive kid and a really empathetic child, if like you can call a 16-year-old a child. He sure can't. He's my baby. He's your child. Um and I know he will never listen to this podcast long enough to get to this point.

SPEAKER_02 53:29

No, he let's hope not.

SPEAKER_01 53:32

But he isn't, yeah. He is. We actually said something last night of to him because it kind of made a face at something, and I'm like, buddy, where do you want to go? Yeah. Like, if you need to find something new, you don't need to go where mom and dad go, but if this is not the right place for you. And I saw the wheels turning in his head of like, he's also like, he wants to please us. Oh, yeah. And and like my youngest is 13, and you know, like she's she's happy to go where we are right now. Yeah. But it we are in a season now that I have to lead my family well of like, I can't just wait for something to come to me. No, I'm gonna have to, you know, I have to make sometimes community is what you make it. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 54:18

So can I tell you a funny story that shocked me? Yeah. Did I tell a story? I was we went down to a trillion camp in Lexington. So of course, yes, since I have two kids who go to UK, I took Torn, who's my who's our who's our son. We took him, I took him out to breakfast, brunch, and then I took him to lunch or to Kroger, of course, who's like, I gotta go grocery shopping. I'm like, get what you can for mom on a college. I was gonna say, 100%. Mom's here, get everything you need. But what was fascinating to me, because I was shocked, because with everything of us, because Torren was really big at at our church. Like he he was he was involved, he was in part of the youth ministry, he was volunteering, he was he was doing on things. He got baptized last year, heck. And then when everything went down, I'm like, you know, I was always concerned about my children's faith. Like, okay, what what does this what does this mean for them? And he said to me, he's like, so at my Bible study.

SPEAKER_00 55:18

I was like, and you didn't know.

SPEAKER_02 55:20

I have no idea. He's gonna be so pissed off that I'm talking about this.

SPEAKER_01 55:24

We're so far into the episode, he's never gonna hear that.

SPEAKER_02 55:26

True story. But his fraternity does does a Bible study. And I said, Well, what do you? He's like, Well, mom, I just sit there and listen because I got half half of half the guys are Catholic, half the guys are Southern Baptists, and they're all talking about, you know, I kind of love that. I same. And they're like, Torn, what are you? What are you, Torn? He's like, I'm non-denominational. And they're like, Oh, that means you're a Southern Baptist. And I'm like, No. I said, No, because you we we drink. Yeah, I said, no, I said, you're just you just believe in the Bible, the whole Bible, we from Genesis all the way to Revelations and believe Jesus as your Lord and Savior. It's easy peasy. But I was so taken back when he said at my Bible study. I'm like, I was driving, I'm like, how do I not react? How do I not react? But also be like, I wouldn't have to be able to do that.

SPEAKER_01 56:17

This is the thing you've been praying for, you had no idea that it was like Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 56:21

Because I knew Belle, like Belle still, she's very much into Bible study. She always has been. She's she has her her group, which is amazing. But when you send you we send a boy off, I'm like, oh hope, hope for the best. Yeah. So I was very excited about that. That was my little tidbit.

SPEAKER_01 56:39

Yeah. So I I mean, I should say that we had we had a whole plan of what we're talking about today. Yeah. We decided that we decided to rip it up and try again.

SPEAKER_02 56:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 56:47

And I don't think we got super unhinged in this.

SPEAKER_02 56:51

No, uh no. I like that we talked about moving forward. I love that we're talking about okay, the past is past, it's time to move forward. Very excited about that. I'm very excited that you know God has some big, big things that you feel like is is coming about. I'm very excited that I have nothing.

SPEAKER_01 57:06

Dude, big things, maybe small things. I have no idea. When I tell you, I'm like, okay, yeah. Because you're automatic, you're like, yeah, it's gotta be about the book. And there is part of me that was like, yeah, finish that because that was something he told you to do. I have no idea what to do with that. And that could just be finishing it for the sake of obedience. Yeah. And we move on.

SPEAKER_02 57:25

And maybe I've got nothing because God's like, you don't need anything right now. Just wait. So I'm just I'm just chilling.

SPEAKER_01 57:32

You may you may think that, but there's something that's happened in the last few weeks where I see a lighter version of you.

SPEAKER_02 57:41

I feel so much better. And uh part of it is totally a mind switch of being like, man, actually life is really good right now. Yeah, and that's pretty awesome. And I can't look at things anymore as being negative or being upset or whatever. It doesn't matter. Cause moving looking forward now, I'm like, man, life is pretty good. I'm happy. I'm really happy. I haven't said that in a long time, but I'm really so happy.

SPEAKER_01 58:22

Yay. Okay. So this feels like a good point to like call it for the week. But you know what? I just listen, let me just encourage you that if something in your if you have goals and dreams, or if you have none of these things, maybe you just have a goal to get through the day. Yeah. Listen, it's admirable to do it.

SPEAKER_02 58:44

Sometimes sometimes it's just getting through the hour, getting through getting through the next meeting, getting through your child getting sick, because my gosh, sickness has been going around in sleepless, sleepless nights.

SPEAKER_01 58:55

But I something happened in my in my brain and my body today, and I feel like it's probably been tingling for a while.

SPEAKER_00 59:03

I don't there has to be a better word than tingle. That feels not that doesn't feel right. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 59:09

I don't know. I'm gonna cut I'm gonna find out. Please, somebody tell me a new word for this. I'm just saying I have feelings that God's got new things, and I I believe that for not just me and you, for the people who sit on this couch. I that's for everybody. That's for everyone. And uh yeah, so I want you to tell me how like, you know, how do you how do you dream? How do you invite God into that? How do you vision cast for your life? And if that's just letting God do his thing and just showing up for the day, yeah, there's nothing wrong with that. That is actually incredibly freeing. So we want you to have the absolute best week, and we will see you next time.