Welcome to the Group Chat: What’s said here stays here

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Hello and welcome to Kind of Preachy. I'm Steph Moore.

SPEAKER_04 0:07

Casey Bryant.

SPEAKER_00 0:08

That sounded very official. And why are you sitting like you're a newscaster all of a sudden?

SPEAKER_04 0:12

I tried to have better posture because every time we do these and I see the videos of us, I'm always like slouched over, which makes me look 10 times fatter.

SPEAKER_00 0:20

But you were okay. For reference, she was sitting just like me, very comfortably. And all of a sudden, when she said, Casey Bryant reporting for duty, you know, it was like she was like fully sitting fully sitting up, making me, I mean, you didn't even like warn me.

SPEAKER_04 0:35

I just I'm just seeing how this post goes. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 0:39

All right. Well, you enjoy that.

SPEAKER_04 0:41

You know, look at I'm already adjusting. Okay. It didn't take long. It didn't take long for me to adjust the slouch again.

SPEAKER_00 0:47

I don't even think I could think if I was like holding myself at like perfect posture.

SPEAKER_04 0:51

My mom always used to say that, like walking around, Casey, put your shoulders back.

SPEAKER_00 0:56

Oh, no. So you don't have a hump? I don't feel like I was ever like attacked for I would be like no elbows on the table. You know, it would my mom would say, you know, Stephanie, Stephanie, strong and able. Ankle. My gosh.

SPEAKER_04 1:10

Stephanie, Stephanie, strong and able.

SPEAKER_00 1:12

Get your elbows off the table. I've never heard of that. I think she is something that she heard when she was a kid. And I mean it's not like she said it like in a mean or derogatory way. It was just like, well, if this if my dad was around, he would say.

SPEAKER_04 1:27

My mom used to like they would have these like fun classes, and she was an eighth-grade English teacher, and every once in a while the teachers would teach like a fun class of something that they know, and my mom would teach etiquette. Like how you set it set a dining room table, which fork you eat, like which fork you used to eat.

SPEAKER_00 1:42

Honestly, that's valuable because I did not grow up in a I mean, yes, don't have your elbows on the table, but I didn't grow up fancy in any shape or form. So I remember like going on like to nice restaurants, like yes, dances and you know, like special events, and you know, I'm like, why is there four forks?

SPEAKER_04 2:02

Why is there four- Yes, yes. I don't know which four forks. Even like down to like what style like which way you're gonna cut your meat? Are you gonna cut your meat where you cut you switch the fork and then you or you hold the fork? Like I think it's it's considered the French way to keep the, you know, you don't you don't switch.

SPEAKER_00 2:20

I do remember being told like it's rude to cut like your entire meat like in the beginning. Like it's like you like but I didn't know. But the there's things I did not know.

SPEAKER_04 2:30

So yes, so my mom had so and part of that, so we grew up with that, and then she would walk around and back to to posture, she would like if I was walking with my shorter slots, she'd be like, Casey.

SPEAKER_01 2:41

Oh. She'd be like, keep your so she would approve of this? She'd definitely approve of this. I never saw it like this. Oh, that feels weird.

SPEAKER_04 2:49

It does.

SPEAKER_01 2:50

But I'm not gonna lie, it makes your body and your chest look better.

unknown 2:54

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 2:54

Well, you you work on that, you do that, and then I will see how bad I look. We just totally went off the rails on etiquette, it's all good. Haven't even started yet. That's good. Welcome to our episode on etiquette.

SPEAKER_04 3:07

Which as my mom would sadly say that I fail now all the time. Because I might my children. Well, no, my Did you earn that C? I did earn that C. I 100% earned C in her class. But my faith is the worst with etiquette. Like how she cuts her food, how she sits at the table. Like, I'm like, oh, I failed her.

SPEAKER_00 3:25

Um so bad. You know, the biggest thing in etiquette, I feel like my third did not pick up is she interrupts like crazy. Yes. And I will say, hey, give me a minute, don't interrupt. Like I've never said this before, and she's just looking at me like, why did you stop silence me? Like, I have something to say. She had something to say last night. And I'm like, this is it's every single time I every time I open my mouth to engage with any conversation with somebody else, she wants to add something in.

SPEAKER_02 3:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:57

And it doesn't matter. I'm like, hey, you can't interrupt me. It's like it's not sinking in. No, it's the same.

SPEAKER_04 4:02

Faith does the same thing. She interrupts me all the time, no matter who I'm talking to. Like where I actually silence her. I'm like, stop. When I'm ready to go.

SPEAKER_00 4:10

But does she act like she's wholly offended?

SPEAKER_04 4:11

Oh, yeah, she is mad at me. Like, wait, I'm I'm I'm your favorite. Like, I'm I'm the main priority. Like I should be talking.

SPEAKER_00 4:17

Lessened.

unknown 4:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 4:21

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 4:21

Well, wouldn't be us if we weren't being real ruled by 13, 12, 13 years old. 12, 13 year olds, yeah. That's our is she 12?

SPEAKER_04 4:29

She is officially 12. We went to the she had her checkup yesterday. Oh. And she is all a 410. She's just a baby. Just a baby. And I'm tell uh and well, I'm telling you to get real. She doesn't listen to this, it's fine. But you know, we talked about she has she's already started. And so once that happens, typically they don't grow anymore. And so I'm looking at this doctor going, Is she is she gonna be four? Is she gonna grow anymore? And they're like, Well, the the chart, based upon her growth chart, the chart says she's gonna be five five. And the doctor and I both looked at each other and we started laughing. She's like, she's not gonna be five five. I'm like, okay, she's probably gonna be five, one, maybe. I'm not even five, five. No, I'm five, I think I'm five, four.

SPEAKER_00 5:19

You know what? Somebody told me I was five, four once. I believe it was in sort of a medical capacity. I've never measured myself again to see. I'm but I'm not actually sure. I'm probably five, three, but I was told medically that I was five, four, and I will be sticking to that story.

SPEAKER_04 5:33

Well, that's what so when the doctor, when we the grow charge said five, five, she's like, I'm gonna be five five. We're like, no, honey. No. I wish she would be five five. I don't know why my girls, both girls, because Belle's five two, but she does say she's five four now.

SPEAKER_05 5:46

I'm like, what are they?

SPEAKER_04 5:50

It's all right. It's all I don't know where the short gene came from. Well, actually, I do. I just didn't realize that it was going to be It was gonna overtake just the girls, because Torrin is not short at all. You have one big boy. I do. It's so it's just it's just crazy that the girls got it. No, well, how tall is he? How tall is Doug? No, Torrin.

SPEAKER_01 6:11

Torrin's 6'1. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 6:14

And Doug is Doug says he's six foot. He's everybody five ten. I think when we first met he was 5'11 and and plus, and then the the realization, no, he's been 5'10 his whole entire oh, Matt will tell you he is 5'10.

SPEAKER_00 6:32

And as Sam has been like steadily just praying he was going to reach six foot, he got to 5'10 and he's a solid inch over my husband right now. And so my husband is a little, he'll tell you now, he's like, I'm just my my spine is compressing. Like I, you know, this is I'm shrinking, but I'm like, same with Doug.

SPEAKER_04 6:50

Are are you I the way that women lie about age and weight is the same way that men lie about height. For sure. For sure. And and we don't like because I'm I'm a shorter person, so I have like when somebody says they're six foot, I'm like, okay, great. Like I have nothing, because they're just taller than me, no, you know, no matter what. And when Torn got taller than Doug, yeah, and significantly like overshadowing him, we're like, oh honey, you you were never close to six foot. And his dad was six foot and two. Well, you tell Doug he presents tall, so he does present fuck. And I think that's like the hope, like because you know, Doug's dad was was taller, he was six foot and over six foot. And so your your expectation is you're always gonna be taller than your dad, and it just did not happen.

SPEAKER_00 7:38

Yeah. I don't know if my brother's taller than my dad. Anyway, oh speaking of lying about weight, I so confidently went online to say I met a huge weight goal this week. You did, massive. Yes. 145.

SPEAKER_04 7:55

You hit your goal weight.

SPEAKER_00 7:57

I hit my goal weight. Oh my gosh, it's exciting. For for reference, 145 got me in the normal category, like not overweight, which was, and I know people will say, like, BMI doesn't matter. I mean, for somebody who's just always been overweight and it's on all of my my chart stuff, I was just I wanted to see something that said, like, you are not overweight. It was just something I needed for me. Yeah. And so then I got on the scale this morning and I'm like, I wonderfully 144. It was 146.2.

SPEAKER_04 8:24

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_00 8:26

So I'm sorry for lying about my weight, everyone. It was not intentional. I know you're gonna like fluctuate, but it was like one of those things like I'm not gonna weigh myself every day.

SPEAKER_04 8:34

So it is it so I'm gonna go down our our weight loss journey for a little bit because I switched over to Ozempa. Ozempic? Ozempic? Oh, oh, oh, Ozempic. So I've been on that for the last, I don't know, three months, I think now.

SPEAKER_05 8:49

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04 8:49

And have lost zero weight. Really? Are you hungry? No. And now I'm trying to like work with the the physician to figure out because I work out so much, like am I am I not eating enough calories?

SPEAKER_01 9:06

Oh, that's a real thing.

SPEAKER_04 9:08

Which could be could be the possibility, but it's so for me, it's so frustrating because I'm still stuck in the 180s and I just I I I don't want to be there anymore. And I don't know what else to do.

SPEAKER_00 9:23

Yeah. Well, somebody asked me, like, am I going so jealous of you. I've had a lot of people ask me if I'm gonna go off this medication, and I'm not on that, but I'm on a version of that. And yes, same difference. But I have polycystic ovarian syndrome, and that causes a tremendous amount of issues that I my body doesn't know what to do with glucose, and you know, like it just doesn't know how to process things. So weight gain, increased testosterone, like an embarrassingly hairy chin that, you know, like if I don't take care of it on the daily, and maybe even by that evening.

SPEAKER_01 10:01

I would be doing that this morning.

SPEAKER_00 10:03

So I mean, there's just there's like a whole, you know, not to mention like the the girly cycle things that have been issues of mine forever. I'm gonna be gross for a second, but I we're we were going there. We were going there. We weren't actually going there. We there was a plan. We'll see if we get back to it. Maybe, maybe not. But you know, I was bleeding on average 17 days a month.

SPEAKER_01 10:25

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00 10:26

Oh my gosh. Yeah, like heavy? Yeah, like full, like two full periods a month.

SPEAKER_04 10:31

Oh. Yeah. I thought what I was going through was bad. That is horrible.

SPEAKER_00 10:36

So, and it was the like, so I'm like, I felt like I never had a break from the PMS, like the actual, and then that my my cycle, like each one was lasting like a full seven days, and then spotting, you know, on either side of that. So that that's just been my life for I would say since I mean, I went from being early. I mean, so I was diagnosed with this at 22.

SPEAKER_04 11:05

So this was your norm?

SPEAKER_00 11:07

And I was diagnosed, I mean, I started having issues with having ovarian cysts when I was 17. Oh my gosh, that's so young. Yeah, my mom took me to the emergency room. I was like, I was dying, and I'm like, ugh, and she was just sure I was pregnant.

SPEAKER_04 11:23

Oh, no.

SPEAKER_00 11:24

And I'm like, I'm been over, and so were the we're in the ultrasound room, and the guy's like, you know, doing the thing, and my mom's looking intently at the thing. She's gonna hate this story, and she's like, Where's the baby? And I'm like, There's no baby, no baby, not having sex, there's no baby, I'm not pregnant. That's impossible. I am I I'm just in pain, and he was like showing me all the things. He was like, Here's your bladder, and he was like, Oh, you know, he's like, and then but of course he can't tell you exactly what's wrong with you, and then later on he's like, You've got some significant cysts, and you had one that burst, and that was the cause of the pain. Um at any rate, I have continued continued to have those issues. The cyst pain I feel like got easier with each child that I had. Yeah. Although the PCOS contributed to infertility, but taking like a total of nine years to get pregnant.

SPEAKER_04 12:19

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_00 12:20

So anyway, all of those things to now having a cycle that is pretty much on the dot every 27, 28 days that lasts for three to four days. Mama never wants to get off this medicine. No, I I This is not a weight loss thing. I will go down to the most minimal dosage, but if it's gonna make my insides work, yeah, that's this is not about weight loss because I don't ever feel like I was a total sloth. I never ate totally terribly. You know, not saying that I didn't contribute to my issues. I absolutely did. I'm not not taking accountability for certain things. But my body was not working in my favor.

SPEAKER_05 12:56

No.

SPEAKER_00 12:56

This medicine, although not what is that, licensed for that or whatever the word might be, like has shown so much progress in this area. I just I found something that's working. Insurance isn't going to cover it. So, but for as long as I can find something that's making it work and it stays somewhat affordable to me, like the$150 a month that I'm paying is like it's life-changing for me.

SPEAKER_04 13:20

I think it's for it's fascinating to me because that we're both on it different types of medication, and now I'm on my second version, like second, and I'm struggling with the weight loss still.

SPEAKER_00 13:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 13:32

And I for uh one is fascinating and interesting, and to realize that it doesn't always work for everybody.

SPEAKER_00 13:40

It doesn't. And I think well, we're also in the the age where like this is just gonna get harder and harder. It it is without I mean, regardless of what you're on or not on. Yeah, maybe even if you're doing everything right. I mean, I remember talking to a friend of mine not too crazy long ago when she was like, This past year, like thing everything in my body has changed. Yeah, and I'm super active, I eat right, I'm doing all the things, and I've put on 15, 20 pounds, and there's no rhyme or reason because my rhythms have not changed. And I will tell you, like, she's she's a business owner, she's on her feet all day. Like, I've watched what she eats. I've watched what you know, like I've witnessed that I mean, unless she's like a night binger, which I've been one of those too.

SPEAKER_04 14:23

Yeah, well, yes, I I never really did the night binging so much, but you know, I am like I have been on this since July, a form GLP one, some form of it since July, and working out since July, and to have only not only, I mean I should say it's great, but serious like only have lost 20 pounds during that time is for me so frustrating because I'm like, I like I'm I'm on it, like I'm watching all these watching you, like.

SPEAKER_00 14:58

I know it's an unfair thing to sit next to me while I it's it's this thing has been really successful to me.

SPEAKER_04 15:03

And it it is, and I and I think that's like we kind of might put as women who are going through like the these changes in our life where our body doesn't want to work for us all the time, and then we see these these I don't want to say magic pills, but kind of magic pills that like work for a lot of people, and then when it's the you're the one that it doesn't work for, you're like, damn it, what when am I okay, body? What else do you want me to do? Because I'm getting really frustrated with you. But I'm so happy I am looking for a few. I know you are, I know you are. It's so happy that she is now giving me her clothes that no longer fit her.

SPEAKER_00 15:38

I have two pairs of jeans sitting on sitting. And I believe you won't be in them for long. And you know, to be honest, I s you wa I can I say what size jean you said that you were wearing or no?

SPEAKER_04 15:50

Yeah, I don't care.

SPEAKER_00 15:51

Okay. So I just said I'm um 1860. I texted her. I texted her and I was like, hey, what what's I I have jeans that don't fit me anymore.

SPEAKER_04 16:01

My stomach triangle like that.

SPEAKER_00 16:03

And she was like a size 12, and I was like, I had like a larger stack. I'm like, well, even though you would say that we are similar heights, our body types were still very different because I started in an 1820.

SPEAKER_04 16:14

Okay. I started at 14.

SPEAKER_00 16:16

And you started at 14, and I'm like, shoot, I got I went into a 14 and I was doing jumping jacks. Like I was so excited. Yeah. So that I believe these are I believe these are in the 12 range. Perfect. But maybe the you maybe you're gonna stick these on and be like, I'm already too tiny for these. Well, we'll see.

SPEAKER_04 16:36

And because you're now a size what?

SPEAKER_00 16:39

Okay, okay, in jeans, yes, okay, these are a size eight.

SPEAKER_04 16:44

Which we should never go by size because every store is different and you know, all the time.

SPEAKER_00 16:47

But then I just ordered another pair of size eight, and I um I got them, I got them zipped, which was momentous. Did feel like a little bit of a busted can of biscuits. But in the same rate, I tried these pants on one more time.

SPEAKER_04 17:02

Just to make sure.

SPEAKER_00 17:03

Not that they weren't, I mean, maybe they weren't as flattering and then like holding things up the same, but they still stayed on.

SPEAKER_04 17:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:09

So I am currently wearing a size medium to XXL. So I I I don't put any stock in any of this stuff.

SPEAKER_04 17:18

So typically, so I started off last year at a size 14 and I of uh uh only, but I've only gone down to a size 12. Which is still it's great. I know I should be happy, but I'm also frustrated.

SPEAKER_00 17:34

Well, also you were putting in work that's probably gonna be really sustainable.

SPEAKER_04 17:39

Uh yeah, yes, like working out and that for me is huge. Even when I was like the week that I took off because it was spring break, I realized like coming back, like only missing a week and then coming back, like man, that sucked. Like my body hurt so bad. And I tried to go to like lift lower weights. And my my trainer, who's also my friend, who also owns the business where I work out, she's like, Oh, absolutely not. You don't get to go down on weight because you took off a week. I'm like, Well, I hate you.

SPEAKER_00 18:16

So, I mean, I I I don't know what it's like to take these medicines just for the weight loss. Did you have other things like I had joint pain, I had inflammation and I still have joint pain. So all that stuff alleviated with the medicine.

SPEAKER_04 18:30

Yes, and part of it is because of the weight loss because you're not holding on to that weight onto your onto your joints anymore. That excess weight. So, but my biggest issue with my joint pain is like my hips, like right here. That that hurts by far the most and still does. And but you know, I'm just gonna keep doing it. It's all that's all I can because the minute that I give up, the minute that I say screw it, because damn it, I want to say screw it. Like, is this even worth it putting in all of this effort to not see anything, any progress after almost after a year? And I so badly want to say screw it, but the minute I say screw it, I'm gonna be 220 pounds again within a month.

SPEAKER_00 19:13

It's an I it's an ongoing thing. I th I was just exchanging messages with somebody who listens. I won't say her name, but you know, she and I don't remember the exact number, but you know, she said that she has lost 200 pounds over the course of I believe 20 years. Uh give or take, I'm I'm maybe messing that up. Which I'm like, that's incredible.

SPEAKER_04 19:34

It's amazing.

SPEAKER_00 19:35

But and and I get it because I think if you add up the weight that I have gained and lost over I mean, not in totality, but I mean like I have gained and lost the same 50 pounds.

SPEAKER_04 19:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:49

I think four times in the last 20 years outside of having babies.

SPEAKER_04 19:54

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 19:55

Just different weight loss things. But nothing nothing ever did was sustainable.

SPEAKER_04 19:58

No.

SPEAKER_00 19:58

So that's what I'm like, it's a n it's just gonna be ongoing.

SPEAKER_04 20:02

It it has to be because as I said, the minute that you stop, we we completely gain it back. Like I met with a friend and she said the same thing. She's like, you know, she's been struggling trying to find, you know, uh HRT, is that right? Hmm, yeah, the hormone replacement and trying to find the right one. And you know, she was on a a bunch of different therapies, and they said, okay, let's I think they said took her off everything to kind of reset her, but then she gained 20 pounds within like two months, if that I'm like, it's crazy as as women, especially you know, 40s plus, how easily we can gain that weight right back. Oh yeah. And I I remember the days in my 20s and even in my 30s where I'm like, I'm gonna lose weight, and I would just stop doing something, or I would start exercising and I would lose it. And now I and now I can't. I just totally went on a tangent on weight because I'm very frustrated. But if you could see my muscles, you can't floor because I'm in I'm in full black. Thinking that if I wear black, look at me, I'm getting up that I'll look skinny. And then I see the damn video and I'm like, son of a bitch, I don't look skinny. I look fat as a cow.

SPEAKER_01 21:24

That might make a video. Well, after 21 minutes, should we start?

SPEAKER_04 21:30

I don't know. I think people might like this episode of us going on a tangent. Well, I mean, we were texting last night about what are we gonna talk about? Because I swear we've talked about everything. And I'm like, what if we just talk about nothing? But I think we've even talked about nothing. I'm like, what if we just uh We talk about nothing all the time. All the time. And people are like, Oh, we uh sometimes I'm like, Oh, they listen to your I listen to your show. I'm like, Do you do do you? I'm sorry. Sometimes Sorry, because I don't know what we're doing. No, but we were really kind of stuck on like what like I don't know if it was brain fog, we just have like our lives have been kind of you know busy and we just don't have the middle capacity to to even think about like what should we talk about? Yeah. I I brought up sex because I was like, we need to talk about what it means to stop to have sex like this stage in your life when your body is all your hormones are all jacked up and I got denied.

SPEAKER_00 22:34

I'm not ready to talk about sex.

SPEAKER_04 22:37

Where I talk about sex, because Doug and I used to teach marriage classes, we used to talk about sex all the time. So I'm okay.

SPEAKER_00 22:44

Let's just back it up for a minute.

SPEAKER_04 22:46

Okay, don't worry, husbands, we're not talking about sex.

SPEAKER_01 22:49

My husband's coworkers listen to this. Male co-workers or female? Oh, all the above. Both.

SPEAKER_00 22:57

My son's friend plays this in class every Monday morning.

SPEAKER_02 23:01

What?

SPEAKER_00 23:01

Yeah, I think it's to tease him, but you know, he does. Hi Max. What's up? Uh not every time. I mean, I don't think it's every week, but yes, there's that. And then what about in like a high school? Because I cuss on this thing. Yeah, it's a high school. Damn it. And my daughter edits this podcast. So So what you're saying is you do not want them to hear us talking about sex. I'm just I maybe I'll get there someday. I don't know. Like, I feel like I have to like set some boundaries that I'm like, one I'm comfortable, like, can I edit on my own this week? The answer right now is no. Okay, so we're not talking you can't do that.

SPEAKER_04 23:40

No, so so I brought up sex and you said no, which is fine. I'm which we we you said that from the very beginning. I know someday we'll like that people want to know what a sex life means after 20 some odd years of marriage, after you know being in your 40s and and being perimenopausal. Like, how do you keep that going? We'll get there someday. We'll get there. Not to not today.

SPEAKER_00 24:04

Not today. And yeah. Oh, my husband's getting ready to have shoulder surgery, so it may, you know.

SPEAKER_04 24:09

Oh, yeah, you guys are gonna be we're gonna be in a slump. Your children didn't want to know that either.

SPEAKER_01 24:21

No, we're not because it's my daughter who edits it. I know.

SPEAKER_04 24:24

Well, my it one Isabel said to Doug and I she was leaving to go somewhere else. And she's it was just Doug and I, she was leaving, and it was only Doug and I were in the house. She's like, Well, I guess you guys are gonna go have sex now. I'm like, Did you just really say that?

SPEAKER_00 24:40

Oh, I cannot imagine any of my kids saying that.

SPEAKER_04 24:42

Oh yeah. My kids have no problem. We're very very open, except for now. Well, that's another subject of trying to teach tampons. Oh. Yeah, we're still not there yet.

SPEAKER_00 24:55

Off the rails. I totally went off the rails. I there's no reigning it back at this point. There's just no reigning it back.

SPEAKER_04 25:02

I've gotten sex teaching. I mean, we we got in the discussion with I've and we've had this discussion with other women of like, remember when you had to learn how to to use a tampon because you wanted to go swimming and like how traumatizing it can be.

SPEAKER_00 25:16

Well, can I just tell you that my mom told me that I was not allowed to use them because I this was the 90s and I mean she was terrified I was gonna get toxic shock syndrome.

SPEAKER_04 25:25

I know that was like a little bit of a real thing. That was a real thing.

SPEAKER_00 25:28

We were very worried about that. We were very worried about quicksand. We were worried about you know, stop, drop, and roll. What happens when you catch on fire because it happens so often. And the in the the kidnapper vans. Oh, yes. There was gonna be needles in your Halloween candy. Yes, there was, you know, white vans giving out candy and puppies that you were going to get into.

SPEAKER_04 25:47

And you were going, yes. That that was all of our fears growing up.

SPEAKER_00 25:50

I mean, the whole baby Jessica thing. I really was scared of falling in a well.

SPEAKER_04 25:54

Oh yes, that that freaked me out.

SPEAKER_00 25:57

So I never wanted to stand on like grates.

SPEAKER_04 26:00

Yeah. Well, also it freaked me out for greats. Oh, okay, yes. The the movie It like no.

SPEAKER_00 26:07

So yeah, so there was a lot of fear. So yeah, I I I was like tampons were not part of like something that was like offered to me.

SPEAKER_02 26:15

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 26:15

So my first job was working at a grocery store.

SPEAKER_03 26:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:19

And so I was like, you know, I'm see, I'm bagging groceries all the time. So I'm seeing them, I'm like, figure this out. Uh-huh. I was not doing a good job. I had to ask a friend for help, and she's like, what kind of an idiot are you? Just goes in.

SPEAKER_01 26:37

I'm like, I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 26:39

I didn't know you were supposed to remove the applicator.

SPEAKER_00 26:42

So this is the most uncomfortable thing ever. Oh, back in the day where like it wasn't even like it was like the cardboard. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 26:54

Oh no. I was so read the instructions. So I like literally made sure to like do demonstrations on like like, okay, this is what it looks like, and this is you were doing the demonstrations for your my for your daughters.

SPEAKER_00 27:07

For my daughters, yes.

SPEAKER_04 27:08

Okay. Not not, you know. And I no, I know what you mean. Thank you. Thank you. Like, I don't want no perverts there. But because I did not know that you had to remove the applicator at first.

SPEAKER_00 27:22

I feel like what people don't tell you is that it's that whole area. I think they're they're not textbook.

SPEAKER_04 27:30

No, and and and both like they always think that it's it's their butt. I'm like, I don't want to. I'm like, let's talk about how many holes are down there. And I'm just more than you think. More than you think it's not going. That's not where it goes, and it's not going there. Trust me.

SPEAKER_00 27:49

Did you use I mean we're so off the rails. We're just never coming. We are never coming back today. Did you use anatomical like did you say like the right anatomical phrases for your kids?

SPEAKER_04 28:00

Yes. When it depending on their their age, but we were very, very like when we talked about sex when they were when like Isabel, we were going to baby shower, and I said, you know, do you know how babies are are made? And she was like, Well, yeah, they they kiss. And I'm like, uh, I'm like, you know, there is mom has a vagina and dad has a penis, and he sticks his penis inside the vagina. And she was like, that's that's she's like, that's disgusting. And I go, I know right now it is disgusting, but someday. But so very just very short graphic, that's how it happens.

SPEAKER_00 28:36

I had a I had a friend who was she was like, I am going to you I'm going to use like the the correct terminology. And so she's trying to tell her daughter the word vagina, and she's young, and she was like, she then she goes on, like she's like, Do you understand? She goes, I I understand. And she went up to her mom and she goes, Mom, my fine china is broken. My fine china. And I'm like, so in my mind, I'm like, I never want to call it anything but my fine china. I love it. It needs to be respected, taken care of. Got a clean fine china. I mean, there's I mean, fine china's it's important. Vijay J, I started saying what from Grey's Anatomy, because Dr.

SPEAKER_01 29:22

Oh, one of the doctors called it her Vijay J.

SPEAKER_00 29:24

So I mean Elena at one point called it her front butt. Oh, well, I like front butt. And so even though like I would say, okay, well, this is actually what it's called, like we never like I always said what it's called, but they have never referred to the actual.

SPEAKER_04 29:41

I mean, I don't know if it's just embarrassing or well, and my older two, well, Belle and I, she was never embarrassed when we talked about it. Faith is she gets so embarrassed, and so I'm just I'm like, I know this is for you probably embarrassing, but we need we we just we I want you to be open and being able to talk to me about this kind of stuff. And she's like, Mom, this is the worst thing ever. I'm like, oh gosh. So I don't know, it she might have to be like where I I bring in friends, because I not friends, but like her have her sister come help her or her cousin, because one of her her cousin was like the because I think we all had friends who were like the girl who helped everybody else learn how to do it. The ju like in your friend group, like, okay, there's one girl who's like, let me teach you, and like just no.

SPEAKER_00 30:33

I f feel like nobody taught me. I feel like I was shamed for not knowing, and I'm like, I'm gonna figure this out.

SPEAKER_04 30:42

And it's and it is hard when you're because for especially during the summertime, like if you're and that's where I remember like wanting to swim. You're like, you're like, and that was the deal. Like, you can either take your life and put it on hold, especially during the summer, for a whole entire week or five days, three days, whatever it is, or we can figure this out.

SPEAKER_00 31:06

Yeah, well, I've I said that to Abby and she was just like, actually, the word she used or the phrase, she goes, I am not putting a corkscrew up my vagina. And I was like, Oh, honey, that's that's not what it's like. I I don't know who she's like, Oh that's what my friend said. I'm like, that I'm pretty sure she's never used it either. No. A corkscrew. But you know what? The 12, 13, and 14 year olds she's around, clearly the expert. Not the woman who's been using it, you know, for 25, 20, you know, 30 years. Like yeah I'm not the expert on these things.

SPEAKER_04 31:41

And like when when you have girls, like you know this is coming, but when it hits you and you have to deal with it, it is as as a mom, you're just like, man, you kind of you feel bad because then it's it's an every month thing, but also at the same time, you know, because you're like, man, you you're there. Well, but it doesn't go, and that's what I kept saying, it doesn't go away. This is for the rest of your life. It's either gonna hinder you or you're just gonna deal with it and move on and figure out how to continue your life.

unknown 32:10

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 32:11

Because it doesn't go away. The first thing that Avi said to me this morning was, no, this one doesn't listen or she would be dying right now.

unknown 32:20

I know.

SPEAKER_00 32:22

I am I am out in the living room and she comes out to me and she goes, Who is bleeding? And I'm like, What? Who is bleeding? And I'm like, is there blood somewhere? So I'm like, you know, like getting up like why like I don't know what's happening. And I'm so I'm trying to like get my bearings. She was like, Who Bluetooth me? Which is what we say in our house because there's three girls in our house. So like generally when one starts everybody else does. It yes, yes, there's it's it we we connect.

SPEAKER_01 32:53

That is a legit thing. So yeah, so you definitely sink.

SPEAKER_00 32:56

We use the word Bluetooth in our house. She's like, somebody has Bluetooth me. And I'm like, it wasn't me. Yeah, I mean, you know, and she's like, is it a lady? And I'm like, I I don't know. Yeah. She's older now. She doesn't use like, she doesn't tell me, you know, the same way that Abby wants to be on a really open level of her flow with me. Yeah. At all times. And I think she feels important. It's fine. I'm I'm not gonna shame it anyway. I'm like, I'm glad she wants to talk about it. I do want to tell you it's not a corkscrew. Definitely, but she doesn't believe me. So we're we're not, I mean, we're approaching summer.

SPEAKER_04 33:29

What do you guys call a Bluetooth? We call a Bluetooth thing. I mean, like with I think part of with faith is we went to, I jokingly said this, but we were spending the night we at Belle's house where she is in a house with six other girls. Oh no. And I'm like, well, I go, those hormones just uh would be rough. Just started you and yeah. Yeah. So I I I fully it is true.

SPEAKER_00 33:58

Like when when a bunch of girls are together, that we all now see what's interesting about like how I felt my periods ended up getting worse was when Elena started hers, and all of a sudden, like we were not on the same schedule, but I was just having two.

SPEAKER_04 34:13

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:14

And that just and then that never changed. Which that is crazy to have two.

SPEAKER_04 34:18

Yeah, I know. I I feel like mine just never ends now. It's like this very, very weird. I it's kind of light for like four days, and then I start fully, and then it's like another five days.

SPEAKER_00 34:35

I can't complain now because mine is awesome now.

SPEAKER_04 34:37

I know. And I don't want to go back on birth control. And I I'm it's sitting in my cause I have it, and I and I took it for two months and I gained 15 pounds. And I said, and then I told my doctor, I said, absolutely not, I'm not not taking birth control ever again. Because I haven't taken it in so long, even prior to that. So I I'm just I'm just right now dealing with it and hoping that eventually my I go through menopause fully and my periods stop. I would like to have no more periods. That's where I want to be.

SPEAKER_01 35:09

That's the dream. That is such the dream. I think there's other things that come along with that that we you have to figure out.

SPEAKER_04 35:16

I know.

SPEAKER_03 35:16

I know.

SPEAKER_01 35:17

I'm sure there's balancing of the hormones and all of the but I would still like to have no more periods.

SPEAKER_00 35:25

Sure. I get that.

SPEAKER_04 35:28

We totally went off rails.

SPEAKER_00 35:30

We are 35 minutes off rails. There is no introducing what we were going to talk about because it just I just can't see it happening.

SPEAKER_04 35:37

No. So you but uh one, can we go back? I do want to talk about you. We last week we talked about Elena and you know, pre-marital class and your meeting. Oh, I met the parents. I did meet the parents.

SPEAKER_00 35:51

I would like to kind of like update, like because you really never please no one tell them about this episode where they then have to hear about you know slumps and sex and tampons beforehand before they get to this. We are all on a very special secret circle. Or if you know these people, oh you're not mentioning this. This is this did not happen. This is the circle of trust.

SPEAKER_03 36:15

Oh, it is our little it is our little circle of trust.

SPEAKER_01 36:20

Um this camp.

SPEAKER_04 36:24

Okay, it's my fault. I I did it. I did it. Circle of trust. I fully realize that.

SPEAKER_00 36:29

I'm the one who's like, hey, I would not like to get too graphic. And then let's get as graphic as we can be. I'm sorry. When are we talking about girth next? I don't know. This is so not where we're supposed to go.

SPEAKER_01 36:48

I don't know where that came out of my mouth.

SPEAKER_02 37:00

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_03 37:19

You did, you did remember that right now. Okay, this is what happens when you're our agent and you can't remember random things come out of your mind.

SPEAKER_04 37:33

Our filter is gone during this episode. Zero filter.

SPEAKER_01 37:36

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_04 37:38

No.

SPEAKER_01 37:40

I don't know how to follow up with that. Why did I say that?

SPEAKER_03 37:47

Why did I come out for the what is on your brain? As you're holding that microphone.

SPEAKER_04 38:02

Jesus, please forgive us right now. I think he's laughing with us.

SPEAKER_02 38:13

This is all gonna have to be edited.

SPEAKER_04 38:16

I don't know, maybe it'll be funny.

SPEAKER_02 38:25

He's gonna be so epistle. He's gonna be so mad. Oh my gosh. Okay, we have got to go.

SPEAKER_03 38:37

Oh, you spit on the microphone.

SPEAKER_01 38:52

Edit it out. This is me.

SPEAKER_04 38:56

I honestly hope it doesn't get edit out because this is this is hilarious. But this is what happens when you get us together. And we're not even there is no wine involved. This is a Sunday, Sunday. Oh my gosh, it's a Saturday morning.

SPEAKER_01 39:12

This is the worst ASMR ever where I'm trying to get my drow off the mic. So so how is me the inline? Stop. Oh, I'm crying.

SPEAKER_04 39:27

I hope that they listen to this episode and be like, I think we have some concerns.

SPEAKER_00 39:35

We're just different people. Oh my god. I feel like it's not even appropriate to talk about this. No, we don't. No, it was fine. Great. It was, I'm gonna say so non-eventful. I will tell you that Elena was. Yeah, it was listen. That's what I would pro that's what I would propose. My thought is l if we are talking about, you know, moving forward, I just frame of reference. I want to know who the other family like she's spending a lot of time with his family. He spends a lot of time with our family. I just don't think it was an unreasonable request, but Elaine was very, very nervous. In fact, like she was like, she was nervous, she was giggly, and I had even said to her, like, not like maybe like 10 minutes before we left. I said, Lane, you're making me nervous. Like, do you think I'm inadequate? And I don't know what she meant to say. Okay, but she said, Yes, you are inadequate. And then she was like, That's not what I meant. That's not what I meant. And I'm like, Of course, then I had to tease her. I know that's really not what she meant. Like, there was a word missing, and shoot, if you she's her mother's daughter, because look what's happened today. Sometimes we filter with our brain in our mouth.

SPEAKER_04 40:48

Well, like what we say, what some I'm honestly, like what we like what I have in my brain and what comes out of my mouth are two different things. And I don't know how that happens. Yes. Clearly, as this episode chose that.

SPEAKER_00 41:05

This episode chose straight violence. I mean, I There is no violence. There will be on my whole drive home. It's gonna be this.

SPEAKER_04 41:16

This is what I'm gonna get. Casey, I just don't think we can post this one. No, we are. We're won't post this one. Oh, oh, by the way, our husbands are meeting tomorrow. They are, which reminded me, I totally forgot forgot about it, and I told Doug stop! No, I told Doug this morning. I was like, by the way, so we are we are going to church together as families.

SPEAKER_00 41:40

Yeah, you wouldn't know it by the rest of this episode that we're church going, folks.

SPEAKER_04 41:44

But we are, we are, we really do. Welcome to this religious podcast. I love Jesus. I do love Jesus. Oh, 100%.

SPEAKER_00 41:50

Actually, the fact that we love Jesus and we can have these conversations and know that these conversations are important. Who our images may like who how we think about ourselves, who our images actually bearing.

SPEAKER_04 42:01

He gave us our sense of humor.

SPEAKER_00 42:02

He gave us our sense of humor, he gave us our bodies, he gave us sex, he gave us all these things that you know we are like. Oh my gosh. Okay, just for reference for my husband, if he's he's not gonna watch this, but I want you to know this is a very wide microphone. We just gotta give it back.

SPEAKER_04 42:25

There's so many things I could say right now that I'm not even gonna say. I'm not gonna say so. All back all of our husband, your husband, my husband. But yes, we are we are going, and he's like, and he asked me, he's like, Well, why do why do you want he's like, this is your third time going back there? And I'm like, Yeah, it is. And I said, Well, I want to go back because they are speaking on marriage. And I said, and I would love to hear what he has to say uh on marriage. And Doug's like, Oh, okay, great. So yeah, we're all we're going. Okay. But it's also like a big race day tomorrow in our in in Cincinnati. I I well, I don't know if it's in that area or I don't I don't and I don't no, I don't think it really is. I don't I forget where the it's flying pig marathon, which is a huge marathon in Cincinnati, which happens tomorrow, which happens a Sunday. Well, when you listen to it, it was yeah. It's already happened, it already happened. Congratulations to all the people who ran. I've done it once. No, I've done it multiple times. I've never done it, never a full marathon. I've done the relay and I did the half once. And when I came in running the half, and I was so proud of myself because I finished the half walking running after I gave birth, I think it was torn, and four four hours. And I'm like, look at me, I did it. And then I saw someone I knew run by me, and they met were meeting with their family, and I'm like, Oh, congratulations, four hours. She's like, I just did the fool. I'm like, I hate you. Off rails again. So I'd say that they they because they told me. But you are way further away from this place than I am.

SPEAKER_00 44:06

I'm double churching it tomorrow.

SPEAKER_04 44:08

You're going to two churches.

SPEAKER_00 44:10

Oh.

SPEAKER_04 44:10

You're going to your normal church at the first service.

SPEAKER_00 44:14

They're doing baptisms and I miss baptisms on Easter and I'm like never missing it.

SPEAKER_04 44:20

Wow, they did baptisms back to back.

SPEAKER_00 44:22

Yeah, yeah. I don't I don't Okay, great. Love that. But to be fair, like I have not been as I I guess we've been doing this and which has been great. But I haven't I haven't been fully engaged. So you need to be fully engaged. It's it's time to it's time to re-engage. Yeah, as you should. So we're but I want to do the other one too.

SPEAKER_01 44:40

So we're gonna we're gonna double double church it. Double it.

SPEAKER_04 44:43

Yeah. It's fine. It'll be interesting to to hear like all aspects from you know comparing from worship, because you'll be able to tell me. Student ministry. Yeah. That's one reason why we're going to later service is because the student ministry for this church is at their their second service or their their third service, I should say.

SPEAKER_00 45:03

And like I said, I the part of the the big reason that like other than just I'm wanting to be a good friend to you, and I don't want you have to go through the journey alone. I appreciate that. I also want to make sure you went.

unknown 45:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:19

You know, it's been no it's the whole struggle for me is, you know, what am I upset about with church right now? And how much of it is because there's circumstances, and how much is because I have not been engaged. Yeah. Like how much have I pulled back and it's made it harder on myself? So part of re-engaging means yeah, you have to look at all you have to look at everything.

SPEAKER_04 45:40

No, I agree. I'm excited. I'm excited for you to re-engage.

SPEAKER_00 45:44

Yeah. So a little bit of everything. But yeah, I that I have full I've really enjoyed the last two weeks there. So Yeah, I'm excited to to see what it's like.

SPEAKER_04 45:53

See what it's see what it's like, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:55

Yeah. I mean, she may cancel now after listening to this episode, but we are coming to an end here. Do you want to give a little tease?

SPEAKER_04 46:03

Oh, we do, yes. Oh my gosh, she's not gonna cancel. She actually will probably love this. So what am I what we are actually having a guest next week, one of my good friends. We are, and she's started life coaching. Life coaching. But so but for her, she she was working in in ministry and prior to that, she was in retail. And to now go from that to starting your own business, which I think is always crazy because we we joke of like, I can't even write a book, and to like start a business from the ground up is always fascinating and total trust in God to be like, okay, I I believe this is what I'm supposed to do and I'm gonna do it.

SPEAKER_01 46:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 46:45

And she actually did do it. I did I have not.

SPEAKER_00 46:49

Well, this episode was all supposed to be about, you know, the things that we haven't done or we've put off, or the things, you know, and those reasons. But it wasn't, it was about a lot of other things and nothing at all at the same time.

SPEAKER_04 47:05

So because we're procrastinating and not wanting to talk about the things that we were supposed to do and that we put off.

SPEAKER_01 47:11

Feel like we talked about it a little bit anyways. Yeah, uh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 47:16

But I'm excited, it'll be I love my husband. I'm so sorry. Please don't listen. If you are my husband's coworkers, let's just keep this our little secret. Don't yeah, don't tell him, don't tell him.

SPEAKER_01 47:26

Circle of trust. Circle of trust. It is so that I should name the episode. Welcome to our circle of trust.

SPEAKER_03 47:36

Welcome to our circle of trust.

SPEAKER_04 47:38

Oh my gosh. But back to writing it in. So, yeah, so my good friend Lori's gonna be on next week.

SPEAKER_00 47:44

And I'm thrilled and I'm going to be on my best behavior.

SPEAKER_04 47:48

No, we won't.

SPEAKER_00 47:49

I'm going to be on my somewhat best behavior.

SPEAKER_04 47:53

The first time that I met Lori, she dared me to drink wine out of my shoe, which was a red high heel, and I did. So she's not going to help us be on our best behavior.

SPEAKER_00 48:03

Oh no.

SPEAKER_04 48:04

I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_01 48:07

Is that the introduction she wanted?

SPEAKER_04 48:10

So when she's getting. Jeez. It's also she's also the person who said to me the first time ever that I was a leader.

SPEAKER_00 48:20

Oh, I definitely agree with that.

SPEAKER_04 48:21

Oh. Yeah, I didn't for a while.

SPEAKER_01 48:25

You never stop. Yeah, I know. Never stop. Just goes in other places. Just goes in other places.

SPEAKER_00 48:31

Just goes in other places. Alright, so with the nonsense and craziness that all of today was. And I'm looking at my jeans that you gave to me.

SPEAKER_04 48:42

Going all the way back to to me being fat.

SPEAKER_01 48:49

My mind is all over the place. No progress was made today, ladies. No progress. No progress was made.

SPEAKER_00 48:56

Okay. Thanks for loving us when we get a little crazy and chaotic and maybe a bit neurotic.

SPEAKER_04 49:03

Oh, that's that this is 100%. This is not even unhinged. This is this is pure crazy. You don't think this is unhinged? It's like, what's worse than unhinged? I don't know. Like whatever unhinged is, we went 10 steps above that. Or below it.

SPEAKER_01 49:20

I feel like we were. We're a little below the belt today. Literally.

SPEAKER_00 49:27

I can't stop. I can't stop. I'm literally turning this off. Have a great week.