Younger Us Would Never But Here We Are Celebrating an Arrest-Aversary!

SPEAKER_01 0:05

Hello and welcome to Kind of Preachy. I should say welcome back because we took a week off for the holiday. We did. I should also say welcome back because we just recorded three-fourths of the podcast without hitting record.

SPEAKER_00 0:19

You have no idea how devastated we are right now. Like we're trying to suck it up and be really happy and cheerful, but we recorded three-fourths, and it was in our minds, of course, every week we think is amazing. Uh-huh. But we because we're talking about the end of the school year and how things go. And we still are. We still are. We're gonna talk about that. We're going to try and recapture the magic. But now I'm just I'm just sad. I know. So but somehow it's to get very peppy again.

SPEAKER_01 0:47

We gotta we gotta bring it back. I looked, and I should say, like, I thought you looked at the time, but you didn't have your glasses on perfectly. And now I have them on. And she so you did look at something, but I assumed you looked, and then So I was like, oh, okay, we're gone on time. I'm like, okay, we should be maybe looking at wrapping up. Yeah. So then I glanced at it and I'm like, I do not think this is recording. And then I was like, I'm like, I'm getting out my stuff and yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:16

Stereotypical women in their 40s did not hit record.

SPEAKER_01 1:21

Here's the deal all that part did video. I know. So it's we're gonna have two different things. I who knows? Who knows? So let's let's let's bring it back here. So some of our small talk, I don't know, maybe you're gonna see it. I don't know how this is gonna work because we just sometimes do things on the fly, and we'll see. But I did want to say if this is your first episode with us, oh yeah, welcome. My name is Steph Moore. I oh, we even forgot to say our names.

SPEAKER_00 1:52

Damn it, we are really off-keltered. I am Casey Bryant.

SPEAKER_01 1:56

And I need you to know how good it was going before. Just you know, yes. How good was it going? I felt it was going great. I same. So now I'm gonna tell you a story, and it's not gonna be surprising for you at all because you just heard it. So it'll be like no surprises for you.

SPEAKER_00 2:10

But but we don't want to tell a story yet. No, not yet. Because we gotta freaking build up to it. We damn it, we were building up to that story. We were ramping up. So now I didn't even know because we're talking about the end of school and how different the end of the school year is, especially with kids elementary school, where they're not nearly as busy as they are in middle school, meaning that there's not as many activities or programs or concerts or or whatever. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 2:35

We were getting to the May Sember of it all, which is like what I think people refer to now. And it definitely has felt like that in the past for me. At the end of the school year. My husband's an educator. Yes. I'd have had this is my third kid going through school. I have a kid who just finished seventh grade, one who just finished their junior year, and I guess this is really the first year that Elena's been totally out. So she's she's one year post-grad. Although, you know, funny, she just had her first like dream about school. Oh. Of like, did you ever get those? Like you're late? Like you're late or you're missing something. I would say a good 10 years post-college, I would have the dream that I forgot to drop a class and I had to like make everything up in like one day.

SPEAKER_00 3:20

I think I had dreams where I didn't graduate.

SPEAKER_01 3:23

Yes. It would always be like some sort of a like post-collegiate, you know.

SPEAKER_00 3:28

You didn't graduate. I'm like, what?

SPEAKER_01 3:29

Yes, it would be yeah, something like that. And like, no, you have a job. You have like, you have you have your diploma, but like you wake up and like, wait a minute. And mine was always like over something in math. I always had like an algebra-related dream because it plagued me throughout my entire life. Oh, that's and even post 10 years past graduating college, it still would come back and be like, Did you really pass that class? Yeah, you did. Because I'm like, I have my degree to prove it. I got a C in math 109. Guess what? C's get degrees. And you know what? I had, yeah. It was my, I think maybe my only C. I did get a D. Oh, no, I got one D. I had lots of C's. I didn't have lots, but that was, yeah, my one C. The D took me by surprise. It was astronomy. I just didn't, I just didn't not care about the class. I was with friends. I talked the entire time. And they walked out with these. And I'm like, I don't know how that happened.

SPEAKER_00 4:20

I was I have been reminiscing about some of the stupid classes that I did take because you have to take some like gin, you know, general what uh gen ed classes. I took a a beginner swimming class, and I had been swimming on a swim team since I was six years old at that time when I took a beginner swimming class. I jumped in and he goes, Where did you swim?

SPEAKER_01 4:47

I have three classes that are like notable to me as like, okay, the first one it was awesome abs. Oh, that sounds fun. Yeah, I took it because I was getting married like that summer, and it was my last, and I'm like, I needed like one credit.

SPEAKER_00 5:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:01

So I took awesome abs and the whole point was like it was like a workout. Yeah, you know, three times a year. I took a dance class, like a backup class. Yeah, I didn't, but I wish I would have this one. Would have been good since you work in hospice. I took death, dying, and the quality of life. Ooh, that would have been that would have been great.

SPEAKER_00 5:15

That class it you have to be where I'm working, it you definitely have to have a.

SPEAKER_01 5:22

I just it was the instructor. And then, oh shoot, I wish I couldn't remember exactly what it was called, but it was like I have a funny story, but it's probably TMI. Study of deviant behavior. Ooh. And it was an interesting class because we took a field trip. This is so different than the last episode. It started.

SPEAKER_00 5:43

So we just keep going.

SPEAKER_01 5:45

At this point in time, we're gonna keep going. Anyway, yeah, we we took a field trip and he was like, Okay, well, where do you think we are? And I was like, I don't I don't know where we are. Like, this is I was they went to the University of Kentucky, like it was we went to this building and it had like no windows. He's like, I want you to count how many car seats and how many minivans and thing, you know, like counting in them. And he was like, This is a adult theater. And I was like, What?

SPEAKER_00 6:12

Didn't even know that existed there. An adult theater. Yeah. What is an adult theater? Like a strip club? No, no.

SPEAKER_01 6:21

It's a I don't think there's live entertainment, it's video. I think this was in the early 2000s. Oh, I have so many questions. Well, I was horrified. I was horrified. It was like that. Yeah, college is different. I yes. So Matt took the same class, he had the same professor, but he had a different field trip, and I don't remember what his was. I think yeah, it was the study of deviant behavior. My major was individual family. It was individual individual and family development. I didn't really think about that.

SPEAKER_00 6:58

Mine was broadcasting. So my classes were Alfred Hitchcock. I took a class, yeah, took a class on Alfred Hitchcock. I took a class of the top a hundred movies of you know the century or whatever it was, yes. Starting with black and white, going all the way up. So those are my broadcasting classes.

SPEAKER_01 7:16

So those are probably like my three most interesting classes. But yes, it was, you know. I I as we are kind of approaching, you know, end of the year stuff. I that wasn't really the end of the year stuff for college, like that was just classes that I had. But it's interesting, you know, that she was having those dreams. And I'm like, it just makes me think of the weird, you know, little quirks of college. College that yes. And I'm very far removed from it now. I graduated in 2002.

SPEAKER_00 7:43

Yes. And and and even with the kids coming home from college, it was not a very big to-do because one, Isabel is living in a house and she's living in a house next year. So when she came home from school for the summer, I said, You you don't you don't need to bring it everything home. Like you just need to bring home like your some of your summer clothes. 20 bags of clothing. She's gonna get that all wash muffle. Excuse me. Excuse me, ma'am. What what what is this? And then torn. I I took him home. I took him down with barely a car load, which boys and girls are so different for college. Oh yeah. Like Isabel, we had two carloads full of stuff, barely. Torn, not even, not even. And so he's like, Are you coming down to help me? I go, uh no. So you have your truck down there. You can you can do it. Okay, okay. He has truck, he's fine. He's like, bring it now back. It's all yeah, it's all and and we were even talking about like with even with Faith, because what was different for me this year with her last day of school, it was this is the first year that I wasn't home for for for her being out of school because normally I was always off on Fridays, and with my new job, I work Monday through Friday, and I'm all falling on weekends, and it was just very weird because it was really rainy. It was like thundering, and I was sitting at my desk, I'm like, oh, it's 2.45, and she's getting out of school for the end of the year, and it just feels weird. Yeah, I'm not there.

SPEAKER_01 9:08

Well, let me just tell you that the Stephanie of four or five, ten years ago who had children, and the Stephanie in the last week of school of this year, like she wouldn't even recognize herself. Why? So, okay, number one, Abby, who was finishing seventh grade, going to eighth grade, says, Mom, can I have a sleepover? Like the last day of school. After the school or no, no, no. Last day of school. Like she was going, it was field day that day, so she was gonna spend the night at a friend's house, and then in fact, the mom goes, Is it cool if her older sister drives them to school? I'm like, sounds great. No, never would have happened before. Never would have happened. She had a sleepover on a school night. She had a sleepover on a school night, which would have been never in my wheelhouse of ever that being allowed. Yeah, just never. And then on top of that, so my son, he's finishing, he just finished his junior year. Yes. Okay. And so he had a request which made my husband and I die laughing. So are you ready for a story? I love stories. Okay. So he says, Mom, my friends and I, we want to meet at Waffle House before school.

SPEAKER_00 10:21

We're gonna like Which is a bold move because Waffle House smells. I love Waffle House, but it it is a distinct smell, and you're gonna smell like Waffle House all day long. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 10:32

Remind me to come back to the distinct smell part later, but let me keep going. So he says they wanted to meet meet, they're gonna meet a Waffle House. And so I instantly get this look on my face where I smile and I look at my husband, we lock eyes and we just die laughing. And Sam is kind of looking at like lost, like, I don't know what's happening here. And so I said, Sam, this is time to remind you of a story, which he has heard the story, but he hadn't like put it into play. Yes. So my husband's junior year, his last year of his junior year, uh-huh, is the day that he decided to go to breakfast with his friends. Waffle House. I don't know if it was Waffle House, could have been, you know, Frisch's. That's a northern Kentucky, you know, like big boy. I, you know, like I don't know where they where you're listening from, but you know, one of those sort sort of chains. And so they went out to breakfast and his dad Perkins, sorry. Perkins. Oh, I don't think Perkins exists anymore. I know they had a really good peanut butter pie.

SPEAKER_00 11:31

Oh, they had the greatest bread bowls.

unknown 11:34

Oh, I never had that.

SPEAKER_00 11:35

Oh Rip Perkins. And now Frisus. Dang it.

SPEAKER_01 11:39

Remind me someday to tell you my Perkins story. Oh my gosh. Um digressing, digressing. Okay. Sorry, I was like, it's my fault. I gotta keep stay focused. I keep bringing up at the restaurants. Pepper pod. So they decide they're gonna go out to breakfast last day of the junior year. So my husband's dad says, You can go, but you cannot be late for school. Okay. Cannot be late.

SPEAKER_00 12:04

Great parenting.

SPEAKER_01 12:05

Can't be late. So of course he's kind of making a big deal. As they do, they are starting to run late and they have just a few minutes to get to school.

SPEAKER_00 12:13

And is Matt a person who has to be like a rule follower? Like parents say it, I gotta follow the rules.

SPEAKER_01 12:21

Um I should preface that his dad worked in the school system.

SPEAKER_00 12:26

Okay, okay, well, that makes sense. Okay. Okay, why he's saying you can't be late for school.

SPEAKER_01 12:29

You can't be late for school. Okay, great.

SPEAKER_00 12:31

Keep going.

SPEAKER_01 12:32

So this guy who's in the car in front of him knows that he can't be late. So naturally, what any butthole boy, you know, 17, 18-year-old boy would do is they're gonna slow down so he cannot make it to school in time. Yes. So it's in a school zone and he's just going at a snail's pace. So Matt does what every 17-year-old red-blooded American boy is going to do. He's going to speed past him in a school zone, passing him on a double yellow line, and gets arrested.

unknown 13:02

No.

SPEAKER_01 13:04

Why can't you get arrested for that? Right in the school parking lot. There was a cop who was like, I'm going to make an example of these kids. The principal comes out, teachers come out, like the kids are like hanging out of the classroom windows, watching him be arrested.

SPEAKER_00 13:20

Because I'm sure the the Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:22

That is some entertainment. So, you know, they're like, he's a good kid, and you know, like, so yeah. Anyway, he gets arrested. He's embarrassed, he's got to call his dad. They take him to the the jail, like the local, it wasn't like jail jail. It was like the little small precinct. It's like I like to think of it in my limited knowledge of jails, you know, so far. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:45

Well, because it is is like Andy Griffith. That's what you said. That's what you think of, right?

SPEAKER_01 13:50

I thought of the Andy Griffith show.

SPEAKER_00 13:52

And uh I'm now doing the theme song in my mind.

SPEAKER_01 13:54

Yeah. So he then calls his dad with the drug. With a town drug, he's in there with a town drug. I don't know if anyone is in there or not. I need to ask him that. Um so he calls his dad and he was like, Dad, I got arrested. And he was like pissed. Of course. But also he's like, I have to break this to your mom. Uh-huh. And so he says to his to his, you know, my father-in-law says to my mother-in-law, this is all pre-me, of course, I'd like to take you out to breakfast. And she is thinking, Oh my gosh, he's a sweet talker. What an amazing way to celebrate her anniversary by treating me to a surprise breakfast. This is wonderful. After, you know, they got, you know, their breakfast going, he was like, No, we've got to make a pit stop. We have to go bail our son out of jail. So wait, their anniversary falls on the same day that Matt was arrested. Yes, it was, yes, May 29th. So, you know, every year.

SPEAKER_00 14:53

He said he was 17, which is why he's still able to be in education.

SPEAKER_01 14:57

It wasn't a felon. It wasn't a felony, you know. And it got everything got dropped. I think he just basically had to do traffic school. I think that pay his ticket. I don't think it ended up being I think it was diversion. It was more of a I'm making an example of you. But every year on their anniversary, I always text my mother-in-law happy anniversary. I looked at my husband, I'm like, happy arrestary. How long was he in jail? I did just that day. Just that day. Still, like they made him wait. Oh, yeah, they made him wait. They made him wait. I think like a couple of hours. I don't know if it was like even the full day. So he missed his last day of school. He did miss his last. So he was real late. He just missed the entire thing. And so my father-in-law ended up being like really feeling bad about the whole thing. Okay. Why? Because he was saying the one, you cannot be late for school. Oh, so you that so the story ends up being it was like, you know, as he gets into out of trouble a lot with his parents, it's usually somebody else's fault.

SPEAKER_00 15:54

Typical male.

SPEAKER_01 15:55

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 15:56

Uh so now it's usually my fault. So question. Yeah. Did Sam make it to school on time? He did make it to school on time. So there was no repeat of the arrest, but I mean we did kind of like But what would you would you have punished Sam if he would have been arrested for speeding and trying to get to school on time? Yes. Oh, you would have. Because he knows I don't care.

SPEAKER_01 16:17

Take a tardy. Yeah, I don't care. Take a tardy. No, I like I said, I'm a different, I'm a different mom. I'm a different breed. I also think it's a different time. Yeah. I'm a full proponent of mental health days now. Oh, yes. You know, kids are struggling, you know, there's things, you know. There's been times I'm like, you know what? Don't care. Don't go to school. Don't go today. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:38

Totally different. Raise my first two totally different than I'm raising this one. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 16:43

And I and the older two will let me know. My oldest one will probably think I'm raising her a little bit feral. Yeah, same. I just my expectations, my priorities, they're different. And I there are things now that I dare I say I helicoptered with my oldest. And there were things and you know, she, you know, every kid struggles, you know, with you know, especially if you're a girl. You know, I'm not saying boys don't have these things. I mean, but the the relationships and friendships, Sam did not struggle near the way Abby and Elena struggled.

SPEAKER_00 17:25

Yeah, I agree.

SPEAKER_01 17:25

You know, kind of finding their footing. And girls, let's just face it, they can be a little bit mean. Middle school, especially. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:30

Middle school. I mean, it it is, and I always say this. And even when I was in middle school, I mean I hate middle school girls. They're just so and I'm I was and I get it because I was one of them. Yeah. They are just so mean to each other. They are.

SPEAKER_01 17:44

Are we recording? Oh, yeah. I just but you know what? It took us 18 minutes to look to just to make sure we were recording again. So I don't know what that says about us. Okay. Ugh. I says that we're old. So back to middle school girls. So it it it is it's just it's just hard. Yeah, just hard. Well, I mean, I uh and also I know that the my parenting style now is to make sure that they have independence and they know how to handle themselves. And I think I parented 10 years ago trying to keep control over things from spiraling. Yes. Which in one way, I mean, I get it. I don't think I knew any better. But it I feel like I'm also raising a little parallel me. Oh, interesting. There is something about somebody in eighth grade trying to find their footing in life, even Elena trying to find her footing as a new college grad. I thought in my 46 years of life that I would probably have things figured out right now, but I still feel like I'm figuring out the footing of who I want to be. Oh, I don't think that's how I want to portray myself. Yeah. So I think I parented Elena so she didn't experience the same hurt that I experienced. And newsflash, I couldn't stop it. No, it happens. I am parenting Abby in the way of I'm preparing you because this is going to happen. It's gonna happen multiple times in different seasons of your life with different people. Disappointments are going to happen, hurt feelings feelings are going to be.

SPEAKER_00 19:16

Girls will be mean, girl, you'll be left out of groups, you'll be your friends are gonna change. All of those things are going to happen. It happened to you, it happened, it happens all the time.

SPEAKER_01 19:26

Yes. Now, I will say I did want to have a feral mom moment yesterday. Okay, explain. So Abby is at a pool party. Lovely family. Yes. They have a pool at their home. Uh-huh. They also have a neighborhood pool. Okay. So they said the dad had said, Hey, why don't you guys grab some snacks to take to the pool with you? So Ave grabs a couple like individual bags of chips, thinking like she's not seeing a lot of people grab them, so she's gonna grab extras.

SPEAKER_00 19:54

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 19:55

For the friends. For the friends. Great. One of the girls looks at her and she goes, Abby, you of all people don't need extra chips. You're already the fattest one out of all of us. No. Yeah. My kid who's a size two and a I was gonna say she's tiny. Size zero. Yeah, she's she's itty bitty. But you know what? I I don't know about you, and you're probably in your skinny middle school days, as I did too, but oh my gosh, I'm so bad. Well, yes, because immediately what you do, because that sticks with you. Yeah. Anyway, all of that. And I had to fight all of my urges to not jump in and try and fix this. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:32

Okay, what do you by fix it meaning call the parents or fix it by Yes.

SPEAKER_01 20:37

I mean, part of me wanted to call the mom, and like, do you know this is how your daughter's acting? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:41

But the truth is that wasn't gonna fix it. It would make it worse. I I have never been with both with both girls. I'm never the parent who calls the the the mom. If like if when Belle was struggling with finding her friends, when Faith this year, if for Faith it's been this year, it's been a really hard year of trying to find friends and being left out of friend groups where you know she's texting her, you know, friends who she's been friends with for a long time, since since all the way through grade school, and all of a sudden they're no longer talking to her. And you and for me, the only thing I do is have the conversation of like, okay, maybe those aren't your friends, maybe it's time for you to find new friends, but I'm not gonna be the mom who calls the other mom and be like, Why is your daughter not talking to my daughter? I'm like, You gotta fix this because this is ongoing for the rest of your life. Yeah. And so I I have never been that same Isabel will tell you that I never jumped in. And she said to Faith, she's like, it it took me till eighth grade, probably the end of eighth grade, going into ninth, where I finally found my friend group. Because it was different all three years of middle school.

SPEAKER_01 21:45

And I think at least for me now, I have a different level of confidence that things will work out the way that they're supposed to work out. Yeah. Didn't have then.

SPEAKER_00 22:01

No, because you want to try to fix it because you don't want them to be hurt the same way you were hurt. Yeah. So where I didn't experience it where I was friends with a couple of girls, or especially one girl that I grew up with, and then all of a sudden she stopped talking to me and I cried and cried and cried. Yeah, we've all had that. And so you try to prevent it, and the unfortunate thing is you just can't prevent it because middle school girls are middle school girls and it's just gonna happen. And you know, talking about, you know, faith, like I'm not, you know, I'm not with the popular girls. I don't care. No, I don't no one and everyone popularity is just a it's just so stupid. The whole the whole situation is just so stupid. I get it. And I just for me, I'm like, I don't care. As long as you find girls who will be kind to you and raise you up instead of tearing you down, I don't care who you're hanging out with.

SPEAKER_01 22:53

And I also think there's some people that are like they're in your life for seasons.

SPEAKER_00 22:57

Yeah. I for whatever reason. I mean, a reflection of the parents because sometimes these parents are wonderful parents. It's just girls. I do. I do like middle school is just a feral jungle world. Uh I guess to be a middle school teacher, you have to be some type of special. My mom was, and she always said that like you have to in order. She's like, sometimes I think you have to have uh to raise a middle schooler to understand middle schoolers to be a middle school teacher because it is all types of yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:27

I it just it's there's just the Stephanie of me from 10 years ago would look at me. I don't know if she would look at me like, I can't believe you did that, or she'd look at me in awe, like, man, I wish you had the confidence to let things happen. Well done.

SPEAKER_02 23:39

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 23:39

I think maybe both. I think like the the timid version of that who was trying to control everything because I was nervous and I was insecure in myself and my parenting, and she was my oldest. I didn't want to screw things up. Well, guess what? You can't stop it happening. You can't stop it.

SPEAKER_00 23:52

No, you can only build into them and make sure that they have the tools to be able to handle it.

SPEAKER_01 23:58

Prepare them to carry their baggage because they're gonna there's no way to stop the baggage from happening. Yes, yeah, and I wish there was, yeah. So yeah, good parent, yeah. I I I think I finally embraced that parenting is not about keeping control of the situation, it's about making sure they're prepared. Yeah, but that's yeah, it was hard. That man. Yeah. I know. I still can't believe she said that to her. I know. And to think, you know, like honestly, like 10 years ago, might be have you seen it affect her? Well, yeah. So there was and we we talked about immediately, of course. I trying to be assuming you said like yeah, trying to and also it's hard for me in this season, because I'll tell you my daughter is a stick, she's tiny, okay? I yes. But she is also watching me actively trying to lose weight. Okay. Which is really yeah. Which is unfortunate in this time. She's looking at her older sister who is also trying to lose weight. In our seasons, I, you know, I started, you know, been very open about my weight loss journey here that I started at 215. I'm currently 141, which is bananas. It's obviously. And she's seeing like this confidence of me and losing weight, and I'm trying to relate it to her, you are already perfect. But she is seeing me like, mom, you're already perfect. Yeah. Because that's the way she sees me, and that's the way I see her. So there's a really unique delicate thing there. Yeah. Because I've also had to have conversations with my oldest who, you know, she is in a different place of there's conversations I'm having with her of okay, it's time to be looking at these things because I care about your health. Yeah. And that's there are conversations happening around. And of course, you know, when you were 12, 13, 14, uh, shoot, 20, 25, you know, you're you're probably never happy with your appearance. No. Until you go back in time and look and be like, oh, you should have just treated that body so amazing. I'm like, I wish I had my high school body and I thought I was fat and I was. I know, I know, I know. But the truth is, is like we had already bought some like little treats for like end of the school year. Yeah. And she had like those nerds' gummy clusters. I love them. So good. Those things are so good. Anyway, she tried to hand me the bag today. She was trying to clean things around though. She goes, I'm not gonna eat these. And I said, honey, you just pick these out. And she was like, Well, I'm just not gonna eat them. And I just crushed. Yeah. Like I guess you can hear the I know where it's coming from. And I said, And I tried to not harp on it too much because I didn't want to really bring it back up. Yeah. And I said, Well, nobody ever says you have to have a whole bag in a sitting. And I said, but let's just we're not gonna get rid of it. Let's put it like saving for a camp snacks. Oh, I love that camp. What camp? Just going to church camp. Oh yay, is that coming up soon? No, not for a while. Next month. Yeah, June. Oh, yeah. She's at the end of June. So there's no dance camp this year, but I mean, you know. Anyway. I was just like, let's just redirect something like exciting about. So anyway, it was just a bummer to start summer off already feeling. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 27:15

We'll get better. We'll get better. Yeah. But it was a great weekend to go to the pool. Because I finally made it to the pool. When I say finally, the pool just opened last week. Okay, all right. And I was and I because and I am so pale. Like looking at everybody who went on spring break or people who have kids who play out, you know, or softball, t-ball, you know, baseball, all that stuff.

SPEAKER_01 27:42

People who just self-tan. Self-tan. I know.

SPEAKER_00 27:44

I'm looking at your your self-tan. By the way, your boobs look amazing. Thank you so much. She's in a strapless dress, and I'm like, my gosh. They they they do. I'm sorry. I'm not wearing a bra.

SPEAKER_01 27:56

No. I know. I know. I I shouldn't be sharing this here, but I am quite proud. That is amazing. Well, part of weight loss is I've lost a lot of that. That's a lot of it's gone there. Oh I know. We're we're take it to us to we just move it along.

SPEAKER_00 28:12

But congratulations. Thank you. Thank you so much. That's a big deal. I am not that bold yet.

SPEAKER_01 28:19

I I don't know what's possessed me. I love I love your new confidence in your body. You know what? I mean, I don't want to look at it naked, but the rest of it in clothes. I'm feel I feel quite good. I feel quite good.

SPEAKER_00 28:30

I did. I I wore a two-piece. Yes. I know. And I just screamed that. I'm so sorry. Sorry. But I and I've written articles about it, but I man, I got lots of I got compliments on like my weight loss, which I really haven't lost nearly as much weight as you have, but I am, I guess my I'm just carrying it differently, maybe. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 28:54

Oh well, I tell you this all the time, and you kind of look at me like, but it's not, don't, we can't we can't compare.

SPEAKER_00 29:00

Yeah, no, we cannot compare. But it was so great. And I got burned.

unknown 29:05

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 29:06

Yeah, I do see have a little bit of pink.

SPEAKER_00 29:07

I've I have a little pink. I have a little pink. But the best thing is because I wore a two-piece and we taught I have stretch marks from literally my thighs all the way up to my boobs. Oh, my stretch marks start at my calves. So and and as we all know, stretch marks do not.

SPEAKER_01 29:23

They do not tan. They do not tan. Not advocating getting in a tanning bed, but if you ever did, like the light of that is gonna light you up of every imperfection. You are gonna be like it's you have to be traumatized. Yes. Absolutely traumatized. It is.

SPEAKER_00 29:36

And so I now have this perfect two-inch burnt mark on my belly. That is so it is like pale, pale, burnt. I don't currently have swimming.

SPEAKER_01 29:47

Whatever my stretch marks. I don't currently have a swimsuit, but I yeah, the idea of stopping for swimsuits is as confident as I may be right now. I'm not quite there.

SPEAKER_00 29:56

That's why I think I honestly love the the two-piece because it's high-waisted, so it comes all the way up past my belly button. But you can still go to the bathroom. You could which I love. Yeah. And it's almost it's a it's a little skirt, so it almost looks Okay. So I kind of covers my-What'd you get it? I have no idea. I've had I've had it. I I've had those bottoms for a couple of years, and then I just keep changing out tops. So before, like one top, it would full coverage top, and now I'm on the more bikini style top.

SPEAKER_01 30:29

I I have not tried swimsuits on. I mean, if I'm gonna be honest, I probably was more confident in a swimsuit when I was a little bit larger. Really? Because and let me explain. Because now that I have lost weight, I have a lot of loose skin. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:44

Like that's why I like the two-piece control top.

SPEAKER_01 30:46

Like suck that thing out. And I'm not mad about the loose skin on my belly. Yeah, it is. I have that little apron belly thing. I've carried it. If there's any plastic surgeons out there that would like to support us, we we will. But this to me is like I carry, I carried, you know. It is what it is. And you know what?

SPEAKER_00 31:07

Even if I didn't I was told I would from the very beginning, like you will never lose that. Plastic surgery is the only way that you that'll be.

SPEAKER_01 31:13

Even if I didn't, I uh that's mostly covered. Yeah. But like my inner thighs, uh-huh. It just looks like little saddlebags there. And it is it's it's not cute as an understatement. It's it's sad. So when I sit, I'm like, I didn't know. Yeah. And then I stood up in the mirror and I'm like, okay, this is not I I saw myself fully naked. And I try not to do that very often. Yes. But I was like, oh, gravity doing me no favors there.

SPEAKER_00 31:47

But no favors. I I struggle with finding shorts, and we've talked about we've talked about this at my work recently because of I call it chub rub, of my thighs rubbing together, and so finding shorts that don't ride up in my legs rubbing is so hard.

SPEAKER_01 32:02

Well, I just bought and I bought them to go to Disney, but they were Joy Lab from Target, and then the there are probably other ones that do the the same things, but it has like biker shorts in them and then like a looser layer on top.

SPEAKER_00 32:16

I love a good biker short, so yeah, because I wear them underneath all my dresses, my skirts. I'm always not spanks because I hate spanks, but biker shorts. I know it's that roll that happens.

SPEAKER_01 32:25

I sit down and it's like roll. Yeah. Don't like it. I like the feeling of being an encased sausage. I've got to do it. If I'm standing looking like it. Although I will say, I am wearing a dress right now. You are doing it with no bra on. No bra, no spanks, no, I don't even have my biker shorts on. Look at you. I don't yeah. And no treb. I walk. I can't say if I would go, I would I go, you know, to an outdoor event. Maybe not. But you know, getting around church and all that kind of stuff, I in Costco.

SPEAKER_00 32:58

You know, did not wear a bra to church. I didn't.

SPEAKER_01 33:03

I let it go. A little bit. To be fair, you can't. There's like, you know, it's built this way.

SPEAKER_00 33:11

Yes.

unknown 33:12

No.

SPEAKER_00 33:15

This one is totally different than our first one that we thought we recorded and we didn't.

SPEAKER_01 33:20

I'm just saying, I'm just the the the dress is designed to not be worn without to not be worn with a bra. Yeah, no. So at any rate, anyway, all that all that being said, very for an episode. I really wish we could release two because kind of sad about the other.

SPEAKER_00 33:35

I know. We gotta move on.

SPEAKER_01 33:37

I know. Well, what are we gonna do? So I oh, I guess the other thing that we talked about before that we really didn't you know why didn't it record it on video? So maybe you'll still see social clips of it and then you'll listen to the episode and like, hey, they didn't talk about that.

SPEAKER_00 33:53

We didn't think we did, you just didn't get a chance to hear it.

SPEAKER_01 33:57

You didn't get to hear that part of it. So if that's the tease, so sorry. So sorry. So sorry. You know, I was just I was thinking back of like kind of like what things look like then. I was like, you know, Pinterest social media, like everything tells you what it should look like.

SPEAKER_00 34:11

You know, the the end of the school years like the parties and but you were one of those moms I thought. Like we had like I had one mom who made everything into like a Pinterest board, like everything was like down to a googly-eyed juice box with coming out of it. Listen, I'm like, oh, and I'm like, I'll bring the one, I'll bring napkins, which is probably why I always hated the end of the year. Okay, because we were always trying to show, but I'm the napkin girl. So I was just napkin and plates, that's me.

SPEAKER_01 34:45

So I MC'd or announced a dance recital last night for a friend. A friend owns a dance company, yes, and it's all like preschool age kids. And so I don't even remember how many numbers they had, like, but at any rate, there was like 160, like under the age of five. That's a lot of yes, and so a lot of little ones. I got there a little bit early, and some, you know, my job didn't start until the show started. So I was kind of chatting with another mom, and we were kind of talking about end of the school year and that kind of stuff. And you know, they're I was talking with another mom, and in my mind, this woman is a type A woman. You know, like she seems like she has like her stuff together. And I identify if it is somebody, if you put me as a room mom, if you give me a job, if you give me anything, you know, like I am a type A there. Yeah. For my own family, they get type B all the way. Yes. So if you give me an assignment and it's like a limited project, I am all uh I am all out, Pinterest adjacent, gonna figure it out, make this an amazing thing. I'm gonna come home and we'll crash. Yes. And we're gonna order pizza. You know, it'll be a make your own dinner night. As I don't know if you ever have those at your house, but I'm like, those are nights that like I don't cook. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:06

Oh, those are like the leftover nights.

SPEAKER_01 36:07

Many nights, actually. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:08

We're it's like whatever you find in the fridge is whatever we find. It's fine.

SPEAKER_01 36:13

No, I mean, like, I at one point in time I had a seeing another life of mine. And when I was doing a lot of crafting, that was I made money crafting, by the way. It wasn't just like I was just Nancy Homemaker, just like crafting up for storm. I was making a profit, right? But I made one of those big letterboards. Okay. Have you seen those? Like, you know, like you, I mean they're popular right now of like it's like a wood board and it's got like the letters that, you know, like you can change them out. Think of like old school churches, you know, like okay. Okay. But I had cut out like wood anyway. The first one that I put up, it said, if you wait long enough, the kids will make cereal. Hashtag science. It's true. So yeah, that's you know, as someone who spent, you know, four to five hours making this board to not make dinner. And to tell your kids eat the cereal. And to take a picture for social media and post a picture. Yeah, I know, I know. I'm not saying it was all right, but I'm saying there's a lot of stuff happening on social media that is not real life.

SPEAKER_00 37:20

No. I have seen I have seen that in more people getting exposed on social media of like the I guess it was maybe a couple years ago of the mom who's like play date at the at the beach with my with my child, and somebody recorded it and it was literally there. She was there for less than five minutes, just enough to set up the camera.

SPEAKER_01 37:41

Listen, I would have I loved a play date. I love to play, I love to play date at somebody else's house. You want a play date at my house? I'm gonna need like three to six calendar days. Oh for your house? Yeah. Just like to get listen, I live in a small house and I don't I don't have any shame about it. It's just I'm also a piler. Like I just have piles. Oh, I have iron. I know where they are. I have real I just don't care anymore. I just I know. And I and I probably don't care. But then if you were to say, like, I want to come over to your house, yeah. I actually don't care now.

SPEAKER_00 38:12

But then I would have like, okay, I need a like our house for face friends, our house is typically the house where they have a sleepover. And and I'm always like, is your room clean? She's like, yeah, and I walk in. I'm like, oh no, it's a big thing. And and our house is not clean. And I'm like, I this is at this point, this is who we are. I just don't care anymore.

SPEAKER_01 38:32

Yeah, I just think my dining room table is more of a landing zone for things than it is for sharing.

SPEAKER_00 38:37

I did I did have the I don't want to say psycho moment, but do you ever get to a point where you're like, okay, I'm done? And I just started rage cleaning our dining room table because it had face all of emptied her backpack and it's all sitting there. And then Doug bought multiple pairs of shoes and he didn't know which ones he was taking back. So we had shoe boxes and Torin had some of his bedding from his in from school. And I'm like, What's this bedding doing here? He's like, Well, I thought you were gonna wash it. I go, What did you tell me I was supposed to? So then next, and whenever Doug sees me doing that, he starts just quietly coming in and helping. So I I because I get to that point where I'm like, I can't stand the piles anymore. I can't stand it. I gotta, it's gotta be cleared.

SPEAKER_01 39:24

If I okay, so I'm not saying I don't have those, but honestly, the rage cleaning sessions really belong more to my husband. Oh, okay. No, so if we that's 100% me. Because he's not normally the cleaner. Yeah. You know? I'm the picker-upper, you know. But he is like, if we see him like cleaning, watch out. Yeah. We don't it may it may have had nothing to do with us. It could have been a work thing, but like, let's just all make life his life as easy as possible and just start cleaning. If you see him in rage mode, if you see him like in any form of deep cleaning, oh, he's some there's issues. Something is happening. Okay. It's probably not to do with us. Mine is just I get to a point where I get fed up and I can't stand looking at it anyone.

SPEAKER_00 40:06

You'll be taken out that way. I mean, have I thrown away important documents because I can't stand that they I didn't know that they're important documents and they've been sitting in a pile for a very long time, and I just get done. I'm like, okay, well, clearly no one needs this, I throw it away. Yes, I have done that before.

SPEAKER_01 40:19

I will admit to when Elena needed her driver's license, I could not find any of her like birth documents. Like I've I have ordered I had to reorder her social security card, I had to reorder her birth certificate. I have ordered multiple times. Yeah, I was mortified. But you know what? Listen, if you are among this, like I need you to know this is this is real life.

SPEAKER_00 40:39

I I and it's really easy to order your birth certificate online because I I don't know if like every time we had to for signing up for school or even because for some baseball leagues, you have to give a birth birth certificate. And apparently I would just give them the birth certificate and never get it back.

SPEAKER_01 40:58

I think I registered Elena for something and she switched school districts, you know, at one point. And I think I probably took it to school, and I just I have to think it didn't it didn't make it back with me, or it made it to the car, which I then I probably did a car clean out and it ended up in the I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 41:15

Cause I have to, I had to get for which I still haven't gotten, but I need a new passport because my passport is my maiden name. That's how old my passport is. Sounds like so. I realized I'm like, oh, I have to get my marriage certificate. So I had to order my marriage certificate, my birth certificate, because I have no idea where the heck that thing was.

SPEAKER_01 41:35

Well, when I went to go get my real ID, I actually do have my birth certificate. Um, very organized. And so I went to get like the real ID, and I have like the official thing, and it's like typewriter, you know, like and it's got like the official seal of, you know. And even the real ID lady was like, And we're like, that's my freaking real one, dude. She's like, I don't know if they're gonna accept this. And I'm like, that's the original. She's like, you may have to order the other one. You'll know, but of course you don't, and she's like, you won't like no you'll you'll get a letter like in like 10 to 14 days, whether or not this was accepted or not. I ended up getting it, but I mean like Yeah, because I scanned all that stuff in. Dude, if you've got your real ID, you knew that it was and I do have it, but I mean like because I had a break. It was a thing. Yes. It was a thing.

SPEAKER_00 42:17

Anyway, yeah. And I there was a very big rush to get my passport, but now there's no longer a rush to get my passport. So it's all good.

SPEAKER_01 42:26

Well, we could take kind of preachy on the road.

SPEAKER_00 42:29

Where are we gonna get?

SPEAKER_01 42:30

I don't know. Uh we've just upgraded it from like, you know, let's get coffee with listeners to let's do a beach thing.

SPEAKER_00 42:37

Oh, I love the beach.

SPEAKER_01 42:38

Now, now we we can take it like her nest.

SPEAKER_00 42:40

Are you are you are you in kids club? Are you or for kids ministry?

SPEAKER_01 42:45

I did not join kids' ministry. No, I did not. No, I'm gonna stick with my I'm sure that they reached out and asked if you She sure, she sure did. She sure did. And she said thanks for my super secret shout out. She knew it was for her.

SPEAKER_00 42:56

Two, two, three weeks in a row or two weeks in a row.

SPEAKER_01 42:58

Love you. Lots of weeks. Not there, not there yet. Um, you know, I spent many years in children's ministry. I don't really feel that's my calling right now, but you know what? Especially now that we are way laid back compared to our compared to the first ones. Uh truthfully, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:14

So um I mean, I would be in a room with cla in a room with kids, and I'd be like, You guys do whatever you want. I don't care. We do care a little. Yeah, yeah, I do. You know, that's bad.

SPEAKER_01 43:26

So, okay, so we're kind of kicking off summer here. You know what is is before we close out, is there anything you're looking forward to this summer?

SPEAKER_00 43:34

I have a vacation coming up to going to the beach. Nice. No hiking involved. Perfect. I don't have any beach vacations on the horizon. Which is the only reason why I say yes to hiking is knowing that I have this beach vacation coming up. So this is my family, like typically all my siblings, but this year it's only two of us going. Two me and my sister are going. Okay. Instead of all four of us. But very we're very excited. We're trying somewhere. New. Oh. We're going to Holden Beach, I think is North or South Carolina. It's on it's on the east coast. Oh, okay. So the Atlantic. Going to the Atlantic Ocean. Nice. Which is different, way different than the Gulf.

SPEAKER_01 44:14

I yeah, it is different.

SPEAKER_00 44:16

I it I do because we went to Myrtle Beach one year with the kids, and I remember they started in the ocean in front of us, and then the next thing, five seconds later, they are I feel like down the beach a mile. I'm like, whoa, that it was way different than the golf.

SPEAKER_01 44:35

Well, I and most of my beach experiences all happen on the Atlantic. I have not had much golf outside. I love the golf. All right. Well, that just tells us that's where we're doing our retreating.

SPEAKER_00 44:48

Dolphin Island. Highly recommend that place.

SPEAKER_01 44:50

I've never been there.

SPEAKER_00 44:50

Oh, it's a wonderful place. Okay. It is houses on stilts on the beach where you can some of them you can fish off of your deck. Okay. We'll twist my arm.

SPEAKER_01 45:02

I have I honestly I don't have any vacations on the horizon for the summer. But any exciting things happening?

SPEAKER_00 45:09

Okay, well, if you have to think that hard, no, you don't.

SPEAKER_01 45:12

No, no. Matt's having surgery in two weeks. Ew, for we're talking about his shoulder. Having the shoulder surgery. It was like the past two weeks have been like a whole insurance ordeal. First, they denied the surgery, and then they had like a peer-to-peer review and they approved the surgery. So surgery is happening. Surgery is happening. It's, you know, it'll be a a summer of recovery, not necessarily the fun stuff, but that's okay. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 45:35

Faith's going to camp next week.

SPEAKER_01 45:37

Exciting.

SPEAKER_00 45:38

Yep. This is like her sixth year going back, so she goes to camp ernst right up. Yeah. Loves it. And that that's really it. Kids all both kids are working. The older older two are working. Yeah. And then vacation.

SPEAKER_01 45:53

Yeah. I mean, doesn't look quite like I said, summers don't. I'm the end of the school year and summers don't necessarily look like what they used to.

SPEAKER_00 46:01

No. And especially working. We're all like, I still gotta work eight to four every day. Monday through Friday. At least it's not five. That's true. But I do get a half day on Friday. I know. I miss my Fridays off. I mean, that is one thing I do. I do not miss working on Sundays, but I do. I do. I do do.

SPEAKER_01 46:24

I miss having my Fridays off. But that's all right. Oh, goodness gracious. Well, I think that every season, whether it be the calendar year or seasons in life, it looks okay. Sorry. That's all right. I got it. So yeah. Which is also from the Bible.

unknown 46:41

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 46:42

I'm just saying. Sure is. Sure is. But listen, things don't necessarily look like what they used to, and that's okay. This version of me is actually a lot happier. Yes. I really am. It may have looked more put together then, but it's a lot more freer now. It really is. So being able to be like, I don't care. Yeah, it is. I do care, but I don't.

unknown 47:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:07

It is. Yeah, it is what it is. So listen, school's out. So whether you have kids, don't have kids, you were a teacher, or you are just embracing life in summer mode with oh, wear the shorts. Get your hair wet. Do the things that you're like, it doesn't matter. Wear the bathing suit. Embrace it. I mean, I still may want to embrace some sort of a scuba suit, but you know what? No. I cannot wait to go out and shop and find a bathing suit. You're gonna find one. The saddlebags are gonna be out. It's saddlebag summer. You can hold me to it. There may not be an Instagram picture of it, but it may not make the grid. I'm gonna make her make grid. It's gonna be our new profile picture. I'm just kidding, it will never be. Anyway, welcome to this episode 2.0, 3.0, how many times we have done this. Thanks for bearing with us. As usual, one of these days we will pull it all together, and then you'll know you're listening to the wrong podcast. I was gonna say, really? Are we gonna pull it all together? Probably not, and that's why you love us. Have a great week.