March 22, 2026

You’re Not the Same Anymore (and that's a good thing!)

You’re Not the Same Anymore (and that's a good thing!)
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You’re Not the Same Anymore (and that's a good thing!)
You’re Not the Same Anymore (and that's a good thing!)

Send us Fan Mail You didn’t go through all of this to go back. After everything—church hurt, growth, hard conversations, and choosing not to stay stuck—this episode is about one thing: We are not the same anymore and if you relate than, You’re not the same anymore, either! And that’s not something to fix. It’s something to step into. We’re talking about what shifts when you grow, what you stop tolerating, what you start valuing, and how refinement changes the way you show up in your faith, yo...

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Season 2

Send us Fan Mail

You didn’t go through all of this to go back.

After everything—church hurt, growth, hard conversations, and choosing not to stay stuck—this episode is about one thing:

We are not the same anymore and if you relate than, You’re not the same anymore, either!

And that’s not something to fix.
It’s something to step into.

We’re talking about what shifts when you grow, what you stop tolerating, what you start valuing, and how refinement changes the way you show up in your faith, your relationships, and your community.

Because “fine” was never God’s best for you.

And going back isn’t the goal.

Moving forward is.

WEBVTT

00:00:04.799 --> 00:00:07.440
Well, hello, and welcome back to Kinda Preachy.

00:00:07.599 --> 00:00:11.039
I am Steph Moore, and next to me is Casey Bryant.

00:00:11.279 --> 00:00:12.560
And she's awake today.

00:00:12.800 --> 00:00:13.679
I am awake today.

00:00:13.759 --> 00:00:15.679
I had five girls spend the night at my house last night.

00:00:15.919 --> 00:00:17.839
Five five middle schoolers.

00:00:18.079 --> 00:00:23.679
And I'm the mom because Faith has been having a harder time finding, making new friends.

00:00:23.760 --> 00:00:27.280
And you know, we we've lost friends from the ones that she was really close to.

00:00:27.760 --> 00:00:28.399
Sounds like us.

00:00:28.960 --> 00:00:29.440
It really does.

00:00:30.079 --> 00:00:30.640
Isn't that sad?

00:00:31.440 --> 00:00:32.719
Middle school is just rough.

00:00:32.960 --> 00:00:35.200
So anytime she says, Can I have girls spend the night?

00:00:35.280 --> 00:00:36.240
I always say yes.

00:00:36.399 --> 00:00:36.719
Yes.

00:00:36.880 --> 00:00:43.280
And one of the one of the parents reached out to me and and and actually thanked me because her daughter was in the same situation.

00:00:43.520 --> 00:00:47.359
So I was like, anytime, because I under fully understand.

00:00:47.520 --> 00:00:53.920
So I had multiple girls at our house and wanted to make sure that they woke up and ate.

00:00:54.000 --> 00:00:55.439
So I wasn't that parent.

00:00:55.679 --> 00:00:56.880
That sends them home.

00:00:57.200 --> 00:00:57.520
Hungry.

00:00:57.840 --> 00:00:58.079
Hungry.

00:00:58.399 --> 00:00:58.719
Hungry.

00:00:59.119 --> 00:00:59.679
Hungry.

00:00:59.840 --> 00:01:00.960
But yay for me.

00:01:01.200 --> 00:01:02.560
And then my son, my van's back.

00:01:02.640 --> 00:01:03.600
So my son made it home.

00:01:03.920 --> 00:01:04.480
He made it home.

00:01:04.719 --> 00:01:05.439
He made it home.

00:01:05.599 --> 00:01:06.239
That's exciting.

00:01:06.400 --> 00:01:11.920
The only I got a phone call saying, Mom, the car won't start.

00:01:12.159 --> 00:01:12.640
Oh no.

00:01:12.879 --> 00:01:14.640
And I said, Did you move the steering wheel?

00:01:14.879 --> 00:01:15.920
Because the steering wheel is lost.

00:01:16.079 --> 00:01:17.040
Oh, yes, that does happen.

00:01:17.200 --> 00:01:18.640
And he's like, Oh, okay, it's working.

00:01:18.719 --> 00:01:19.599
It's like great.

00:01:19.840 --> 00:01:22.319
You know, I remember the first thing that happened to me and I was in full panic.

00:01:22.480 --> 00:01:22.719
Yes.

00:01:23.280 --> 00:01:24.640
Oh, yes, like how you do this.

00:01:24.799 --> 00:01:25.280
Yeah.

00:01:25.599 --> 00:01:32.799
And then he said to my he said to Doug, he said, Dad, I now know what it feels like because on the way home, everyone fell asleep.

00:01:33.920 --> 00:01:35.200
And I was the only one driving.

00:01:35.359 --> 00:01:36.560
He's like, I watched five movies.

00:01:36.640 --> 00:01:38.159
And we're like, excuse me.

00:01:38.480 --> 00:01:40.079
You mean you listened?

00:01:41.040 --> 00:01:43.439
I I said, just don't tell me things.

00:01:44.400 --> 00:01:46.239
Don't tell me, don't tell me these things.

00:01:47.120 --> 00:01:48.159
Oh my god.

00:01:48.400 --> 00:01:49.040
So that was my week.

00:01:49.120 --> 00:01:49.840
How's your week?

00:01:50.079 --> 00:01:50.239
Oh.

00:01:50.719 --> 00:01:53.040
I I actually I did, I don't know why I made that sound.

00:01:53.200 --> 00:01:55.840
I had a really I had a really fast week.

00:01:55.920 --> 00:01:56.560
It was busy.

00:01:56.640 --> 00:01:56.879
Yeah.

00:01:57.040 --> 00:01:58.000
It was a lot of work.

00:02:00.239 --> 00:02:02.719
But my mind is like, it's already on vacation.

00:02:02.959 --> 00:02:05.519
And I have like nine days to go.

00:02:05.599 --> 00:02:06.640
Not that I'm counting down.

00:02:06.879 --> 00:02:07.760
Where are you guys going?

00:02:07.920 --> 00:02:08.879
We're going to Disney.

00:02:09.120 --> 00:02:10.000
Oh, fine.

00:02:10.319 --> 00:02:10.479
Yeah.

00:02:10.800 --> 00:02:15.280
And it's not like I'm like ready for Disney, as much as I'm just ready to be on vacation.

00:02:15.520 --> 00:02:15.919
Same.

00:02:16.240 --> 00:02:16.879
We leave soon.

00:02:17.039 --> 00:02:18.560
We leave soon too.

00:02:19.039 --> 00:02:21.439
And this is my first time not going to a beach.

00:02:21.759 --> 00:02:22.879
Oh, where are you going?

00:02:23.199 --> 00:02:24.159
Shenandoah.

00:02:24.639 --> 00:02:24.960
Oh.

00:02:25.280 --> 00:02:29.199
My I got, because it's just Faith and Doug and myself for spring break now.

00:02:29.280 --> 00:02:30.319
I got out voted.

00:02:30.800 --> 00:02:39.039
I had booked, I booked beach vacation, and then they said we really want to go to a national park and hike.

00:02:40.319 --> 00:02:42.080
Not my idea of vacation.

00:02:42.240 --> 00:02:42.479
No.

00:02:42.800 --> 00:02:43.280
It's okay.

00:02:43.360 --> 00:02:43.759
That's all right.

00:02:43.840 --> 00:02:48.479
I will feel like I'm hiking because I will have well at Disney, yes.

00:02:48.639 --> 00:02:52.479
Yeah, it'll I I will feel like I need another vacation after it said vacation.

00:02:52.639 --> 00:02:54.080
But kids are excited.

00:02:54.319 --> 00:02:58.400
I think we're just excited to like just be in something totally different.

00:02:58.560 --> 00:02:58.960
Mm-hmm.

00:03:00.240 --> 00:03:03.360
And my husband loves Disney.

00:03:03.680 --> 00:03:04.879
People think it's me.

00:03:05.120 --> 00:03:06.319
It's it's mad.

00:03:06.479 --> 00:03:07.120
It's mad.

00:03:07.439 --> 00:03:08.080
Wow.

00:03:08.560 --> 00:03:10.240
Am I outing him as a Disney adult?

00:03:10.319 --> 00:03:15.120
I don't think I'm outing him because the man like proudly wears a duck tails t-shirt around locally.

00:03:15.520 --> 00:03:16.159
Ducktails.

00:03:16.319 --> 00:03:16.800
Woohoo.

00:03:17.039 --> 00:03:17.280
Yeah.

00:03:17.439 --> 00:03:30.560
So I don't feel like I'm outing him too bad, but like he there is something that like in like the manic of Disney, like the crowd, like he's just like, it's like his brain can't stress about anything about work anymore.

00:03:30.639 --> 00:03:32.240
And it's like it it just.

00:03:33.520 --> 00:03:33.759
Yeah.

00:03:33.919 --> 00:03:37.039
But if he were to sit at a beach, he would sit and stew and think about work.

00:03:37.120 --> 00:03:41.840
I think it's just so busy and overwhelming that in a different way it resets his brain.

00:03:42.479 --> 00:03:45.520
None of my children or my husband have ever been to Disney.

00:03:46.000 --> 00:03:48.319
I don't know if you would enjoy it starting now.

00:03:48.639 --> 00:03:50.080
I yes, I don't know.

00:03:50.240 --> 00:03:55.919
I it would stress me out, but there I do want to give it that to them at least once in our lifetime.

00:03:56.000 --> 00:04:01.599
So I'm hoping by the time that it happens, most likely my kids will all be married with grandchildren.

00:04:02.080 --> 00:04:03.840
It'll just be that much more expensive.

00:04:04.719 --> 00:04:05.360
I know.

00:04:06.000 --> 00:04:06.639
I know.

00:04:06.879 --> 00:04:07.439
Wow.

00:04:07.759 --> 00:04:12.080
Oh, well, so well, we we made some big strides this week.

00:04:12.319 --> 00:04:13.280
We we did.

00:04:13.599 --> 00:04:14.240
We did.

00:04:14.800 --> 00:04:23.120
So I I think kind of like the theme of the week going, you know, going into this is that we are not the same people who started this podcast.

00:04:23.360 --> 00:04:24.000
Nope.

00:04:24.319 --> 00:04:26.639
And that's good because we're not meant to stay where we are.

00:04:26.959 --> 00:04:27.839
Yes, I agree with that.

00:04:28.000 --> 00:04:32.800
We have been talking about, you know, like healing and making moves and that kind of stuff.

00:04:33.040 --> 00:04:37.279
And is anybody ever all the way healed on this side of heaven?

00:04:37.680 --> 00:04:38.000
No.

00:04:38.319 --> 00:04:39.360
Probably not.

00:04:39.680 --> 00:04:42.160
But we also recognize we can't stay where we are.

00:04:42.399 --> 00:04:42.720
Yeah.

00:04:42.879 --> 00:04:44.959
Well, no, we we don't want to be in the same place.

00:04:45.120 --> 00:04:45.279
No.

00:04:45.360 --> 00:04:49.040
So that's I mean, honestly, that's been a running theme for how many months that we've had?

00:04:49.279 --> 00:04:50.000
A long time.

00:04:50.160 --> 00:04:54.319
But I'm sorry, everybody who's sick of it, but it's just the where it's where our life is.

00:04:56.000 --> 00:04:58.000
But we're okay.

00:04:58.160 --> 00:05:02.560
We're not gonna talk about where we went, but Casey went to church this week.

00:05:03.199 --> 00:05:04.000
Nine months.

00:05:04.240 --> 00:05:08.560
I had not stepped into a church, and I stepped into a church for the very first time.

00:05:09.279 --> 00:05:10.480
People were lovely.

00:05:10.720 --> 00:05:18.959
People were I got hugs because we right well, you know, I think anywhere you live, it's a small town, even if it's a big town.

00:05:19.199 --> 00:05:20.000
True, true.

00:05:20.560 --> 00:05:24.240
And we both ran into somebody right away, which was lovely.

00:05:24.480 --> 00:05:30.000
It was lovely, like that kind of reception, even though I joked last week, like, just let me go in and not see anybody.

00:05:30.160 --> 00:05:33.439
And I think God said to me, Oh, just wait and see.

00:05:33.519 --> 00:05:35.040
You're gonna see somebody.

00:05:35.199 --> 00:05:40.800
And and I did, and I received a very lovely hug, very, very warm, open welcome.

00:05:40.959 --> 00:05:41.519
It was very nice.

00:05:41.680 --> 00:05:43.759
It was so as I was walking away.

00:05:43.839 --> 00:05:46.800
I heard them say, Oh, that was the pastor at my last church.

00:05:46.959 --> 00:05:48.720
And I'm like, Oh shit.

00:05:50.160 --> 00:05:52.720
When I walked in, she's like, How long have you been going here?

00:05:52.800 --> 00:05:54.160
And I was like, Oh, this is my first week.

00:05:54.240 --> 00:05:58.160
And she like starts flagging, like, this is her first week, get her a packet.

00:05:59.519 --> 00:06:02.879
I thought the first week, but I kind of just don't give me, don't give me the packet.

00:06:03.040 --> 00:06:06.319
And I was like, it's like the biggest flyer you've ever seen.

00:06:06.399 --> 00:06:08.399
Like it was huge.

00:06:08.720 --> 00:06:11.680
That thing was like a beacon of like, I'm brand new.

00:06:11.920 --> 00:06:12.560
I'm brand new.

00:06:12.879 --> 00:06:18.160
It was yes, I get which makes it easy for someone to spot you and be like, oh, you're welcome.

00:06:18.560 --> 00:06:18.879
I get it.

00:06:18.959 --> 00:06:20.879
I'm not hating on it whatsoever.

00:06:21.040 --> 00:06:31.839
No, because even when we walked into the the the auditorium sanctuary, whatever you want to call it, we were greeted immediately by someone saying, Hey, can I help you have find a seat?

00:06:31.920 --> 00:06:34.399
Because it wasn't even that that was packed, but that was very nice.

00:06:34.560 --> 00:06:34.800
Yeah.

00:06:34.959 --> 00:06:38.240
Because we said, Well, this is where we normally like to to sit.

00:06:38.399 --> 00:06:40.560
He's like, Okay, let me let me usher you, which is great.

00:06:40.720 --> 00:06:43.519
Uh yeah, ushering was great, music was wonderful.

00:06:43.839 --> 00:06:44.399
I cried.

00:06:44.560 --> 00:06:44.800
Yeah.

00:06:44.959 --> 00:06:45.920
Well, can I tell?

00:06:46.000 --> 00:06:57.759
Okay, so when you walked in, I was already in near like where, like, I don't know the right terms, but I was I was approaching coffee.

00:06:57.920 --> 00:06:58.160
Yes.

00:06:58.319 --> 00:07:06.720
And so you kind of came in, we were gonna get coffee together, and you walked in, and there was a lightness about you that I will say.

00:07:06.800 --> 00:07:12.000
You came in, I said, You look great, and you kind of did like a little like performative dance for me.

00:07:12.160 --> 00:07:12.720
Oh, did I?

00:07:12.879 --> 00:07:18.399
You you really did, and I was like, I have not seen this version of you in a long time.

00:07:19.120 --> 00:07:20.480
Honestly, in years.

00:07:20.800 --> 00:07:21.759
Yeah, yeah.

00:07:22.079 --> 00:07:24.560
Because things were just so heavy for you.

00:07:24.720 --> 00:07:37.199
The weight of the responsibility of some things really took a it took a toll on just your levity of how are you able to carry things.

00:07:37.360 --> 00:07:42.560
I think you were it was very walking, it was overwhelming.

00:07:42.959 --> 00:07:43.759
Walking into a church.

00:07:44.000 --> 00:07:44.160
Yeah.

00:07:44.399 --> 00:07:53.120
Walking into a church, walking into a church where I right away knew people was amazing and also very overwhelming.

00:07:53.360 --> 00:08:01.279
Uh and it was freeing because I was like, okay, you know, I this is I God wants me into a church.

00:08:01.360 --> 00:08:07.759
So here I am, and I think, you know, even my husband said to me when I came home, he's like, hun, he's like, babe, I'm so proud of you.

00:08:07.920 --> 00:08:08.240
Yeah.

00:08:08.480 --> 00:08:11.360
I was like, oh yeah.

00:08:11.600 --> 00:08:16.560
So to say to to notice that that lightness from you.

00:08:16.959 --> 00:08:19.600
I noticed it I like almost, yeah.

00:08:19.759 --> 00:08:25.680
When you walked in, it was like I think it just spoke so much to what we have talked about.

00:08:25.759 --> 00:08:27.360
Like we don't want to be isolated.

00:08:27.439 --> 00:08:27.759
Yeah.

00:08:28.000 --> 00:08:29.839
But it it felt easier.

00:08:31.120 --> 00:08:37.120
But I think in moving towards something else, even though I think we both agreed, like, probably isn't the right spot.

00:08:37.519 --> 00:08:38.879
Probably isn't the right spot.

00:08:39.039 --> 00:08:40.559
Man, worship was freaking amazing.

00:08:40.639 --> 00:08:58.320
And when I say eyeballed, eyeballed, because it was the first the song that they sang, clearly, I mean, it I think it was meant for me, whether we attend that church or revisit it or not, it was very clearly, I think, God saying, like, you this is where you're supposed to be.

00:08:58.480 --> 00:09:02.399
Like you're supposed to be with me hearing worship with other people.

00:09:02.639 --> 00:09:07.759
And it was so overwhelming to worship again.

00:09:07.919 --> 00:09:10.960
And I sang, I didn't lift my hands, I didn't do anything.

00:09:11.279 --> 00:09:15.600
I just stood there and soaked it all in and cried.

00:09:16.480 --> 00:09:18.320
There is something, yeah.

00:09:18.480 --> 00:09:43.519
Yeah, I I just I just think it's it's a I'm stumbling on my words here because there is something about where we've talked about feeling isolated or that's things being easier, and then watching you struggle in this isolation and almost like there's almost been a little bit of me who's watched you tell yourself I'm more comfortable alone.

00:09:43.759 --> 00:09:44.080
Yeah.

00:09:47.440 --> 00:09:48.240
You don't know if I really am.

00:09:48.639 --> 00:09:49.120
I don't know.

00:09:49.279 --> 00:09:50.799
I think there has been a comfort.

00:09:50.879 --> 00:09:52.240
I think there's been weights lifted.

00:09:52.399 --> 00:09:52.559
Yeah.

00:09:52.799 --> 00:10:02.080
I think there has been healing happening, but I have heard you in my mind almost try and convince yourself that like I'm okay not doing this.

00:10:05.200 --> 00:10:06.720
Because that's true.

00:10:06.960 --> 00:10:12.000
I mean, I I have said from the very beginning that I'm still I still have a relationship with God.

00:10:12.080 --> 00:10:13.200
I'm still reading my Bible every day.

00:10:13.279 --> 00:10:14.720
I don't need to go to church.

00:10:15.039 --> 00:10:25.200
And in that moment of walking in and listening to worship, it was very clear of me understanding that I have to be in a church.

00:10:25.840 --> 00:10:31.039
And even Doug saying to me, he like he's very proud of me, and he also said, I've been thinking about this for a while.

00:10:31.200 --> 00:10:33.440
Like, we need to find, find a church.

00:10:33.519 --> 00:10:36.399
And I'm like, well, Stephanie and I are we're doing recon.

00:10:37.519 --> 00:10:43.120
And I I you know, one of the things that somebody said to me was, why are we not bringing our families right away?

00:10:43.440 --> 00:10:44.320
That's a great question.

00:10:44.480 --> 00:10:46.320
And I actually thought it was a great question.

00:10:46.480 --> 00:10:57.679
And I think we didn't really have a discussion about it, but I think we were probably both on the same page of I think transitioning your family anywhere is hard.

00:10:59.039 --> 00:11:05.919
I think it's okay to just kind of feel the waters of things um before we bring other people.

00:11:06.399 --> 00:11:13.919
And I have been so clear listen, we have both been so clear on the we're not sure where we're gonna end up.

00:11:14.159 --> 00:11:14.639
Yeah.

00:11:15.840 --> 00:11:23.279
And I don't even know if I I'm happy to look at other things.

00:11:23.519 --> 00:11:25.440
I'm also happy to stay where I am.

00:11:25.759 --> 00:11:32.240
Yes, and you are happy to look for things, acknowledging you might end back where you were.

00:11:34.639 --> 00:11:45.440
I I it's a process, and I think God is very willingly saying you need to go on this journey because you need to find what makes sense for you and your family.

00:11:45.759 --> 00:11:47.360
And and and it makes sense.

00:11:47.679 --> 00:11:52.159
Why one reason why I'm kind of starting off by myself is because it's how I started in the very first time.

00:11:52.720 --> 00:11:53.440
It was by myself.

00:11:53.600 --> 00:11:57.600
I went to church by myself for six months before Doug finally came.

00:11:58.720 --> 00:12:05.519
And he, if we said, if we said to our if our families, like, hey, let's go, they would 100% go at heartbeat.

00:12:05.759 --> 00:12:09.440
And and for Easter, we are we gotta figure out which one we're gonna go to.

00:12:09.600 --> 00:12:12.080
We are going to go to church.

00:12:12.159 --> 00:12:13.200
I just gotta figure out.

00:12:13.360 --> 00:12:19.600
Because we, even though it hits on spring break, we're not leaving for for the national park until Monday.

00:12:19.840 --> 00:12:20.879
So we're gonna go somewhere.

00:12:20.960 --> 00:12:21.919
I just don't, I don't know where.

00:12:22.159 --> 00:12:23.200
I'll be gone on Easter.

00:12:23.440 --> 00:12:24.720
I I owe it.

00:12:27.279 --> 00:12:28.559
It just it happens.

00:12:28.720 --> 00:12:30.000
I mean, it just happens.

00:12:30.240 --> 00:12:32.399
Easter happens to fall on on spring break this year.

00:12:32.480 --> 00:12:35.120
Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't, and this year it happened.

00:12:35.279 --> 00:12:36.399
We just aren't.

00:12:36.799 --> 00:12:37.200
Yeah.

00:12:37.440 --> 00:12:39.919
And I jokingly, yeah, no, that doesn't matter.

00:12:40.000 --> 00:12:41.120
I'm gonna go past that.

00:12:41.440 --> 00:12:45.519
But I it's it's hard.

00:12:46.000 --> 00:12:52.639
I I people probably ask us, why won't you go back there if worship was so good and everything was so amazing.

00:12:52.799 --> 00:12:55.279
Oh and you felt so comfortable and so warm.

00:12:55.360 --> 00:13:00.320
And oh, I think people were yes, people were great, worship was great.

00:13:05.440 --> 00:13:06.960
I had some red flags.

00:13:07.200 --> 00:13:07.840
Yes.

00:13:12.480 --> 00:13:22.960
I I okay, so I'm going to say you had some red flags, and then I'm going to share a red flag, and then we have to cut it, we'll cut it.

00:13:23.600 --> 00:13:23.919
Okay.

00:13:24.240 --> 00:13:24.559
Okay.

00:13:25.039 --> 00:13:33.519
Because this is not about I we just want to be so super clear and up front because not all of our listeners are in live in this area.

00:13:33.759 --> 00:13:34.159
True.

00:13:34.480 --> 00:13:35.519
But many do.

00:13:35.759 --> 00:13:36.320
Many do.

00:13:36.480 --> 00:13:41.360
And if that is the right place for you, then I am rejoicing that you have found your people.

00:13:41.600 --> 00:13:41.840
Yes.

00:13:42.000 --> 00:13:42.639
I agree with that.

00:13:42.720 --> 00:13:44.399
You found your people, you found where you can hear.

00:13:44.639 --> 00:13:45.279
And you're growing.

00:13:45.440 --> 00:13:46.879
Yes, you from from God.

00:13:47.200 --> 00:13:47.840
Very clear.

00:13:48.080 --> 00:13:51.600
That's I that I want to find the place that I have my people and that I grow.

00:13:51.759 --> 00:13:52.080
Yes.

00:13:52.240 --> 00:13:54.080
So, okay, say it.

00:13:54.480 --> 00:13:54.960
I'm not.

00:13:55.519 --> 00:13:57.039
I I I yeah.

00:13:57.519 --> 00:14:06.720
I was okay with everything and willing to give it a couple tries because we always say that, like, you cannot.

00:14:06.960 --> 00:14:07.919
We talked about it last week.

00:14:08.000 --> 00:14:08.480
We we did.

00:14:08.559 --> 00:14:14.080
Like, you need to go three to four times to understand if you fully if you fully like a church or not.

00:14:14.480 --> 00:14:29.360
At the end of service, it was said that hey, this is so-and-so running for so-and-so political seat.

00:14:29.679 --> 00:14:31.200
They introduced a politician.

00:14:31.440 --> 00:14:36.960
And I'm not telling you who you should vote for, but this is one of our good friends.

00:14:37.039 --> 00:14:40.000
And if you want to meet him and his family in the lobby, please do.

00:14:40.399 --> 00:14:42.559
And when that was the very last thing that was said.

00:14:42.960 --> 00:14:45.279
And I looked at you and I said, I know.

00:14:46.080 --> 00:14:47.120
My mouth was agh.

00:14:47.279 --> 00:14:48.559
I said WTF.

00:14:49.120 --> 00:14:51.039
You did, but you actually used the full.

00:14:51.279 --> 00:14:51.600
I did.

00:14:51.679 --> 00:14:52.960
Well, I'm trying to be good.

00:14:53.279 --> 00:14:58.159
Because I I have ne and I know that actually happens a lot because I was talking to Doug about it.

00:14:58.240 --> 00:15:01.440
He's like, that's he's like, it shouldn't be, but that's very, very common.

00:15:01.600 --> 00:15:04.639
And I'm like, I have never experienced that.

00:15:05.039 --> 00:15:11.840
The problem is that when I heard that, I almost immediately forgot about everything else.

00:15:12.080 --> 00:15:12.399
Yes.

00:15:12.559 --> 00:15:15.840
It's like the entire message went out of my brain.

00:15:16.000 --> 00:15:17.039
I was shocked.

00:15:17.279 --> 00:15:17.840
Yeah.

00:15:18.080 --> 00:15:20.639
I I shocked.

00:15:21.759 --> 00:15:24.960
I still I I mean, we were texting this whole week.

00:15:25.360 --> 00:15:28.960
I'm still flabbergasted that that I that that happened.

00:15:29.279 --> 00:15:29.519
Yeah.

00:15:29.679 --> 00:15:31.039
And but maybe that is common.

00:15:31.120 --> 00:15:31.519
I don't know.

00:15:31.600 --> 00:15:33.039
That was just my very first time there.

00:15:33.600 --> 00:15:34.080
I don't know.

00:15:34.320 --> 00:15:41.840
That was, and that was a that you know, you remember what happened in the beginning, you remember what happened in the end, and and what happened at the very end.

00:15:42.639 --> 00:15:55.840
It totally just it made it hard to yeah, it uh it just made it hard to to say like we would give that one another go.

00:15:56.399 --> 00:15:58.639
Not to say I wouldn't in the future, maybe.

00:15:58.720 --> 00:15:59.440
I I don't know.

00:16:00.080 --> 00:16:08.159
As of now, I as of now we we as of now I feel like okay, we'll move on to something else on our list.

00:16:08.320 --> 00:16:15.519
Yeah, and and we are so because we were filming this on Saturday morning, you know, we we decided we're trying somewhere new.

00:16:16.879 --> 00:16:18.000
It's new to you.

00:16:18.159 --> 00:16:19.279
It's new to me.

00:16:20.720 --> 00:16:28.240
I I so far everywhere, well, both of us, it was new to yesterday, was both of our last week was very new to us.

00:16:28.399 --> 00:16:30.320
Neither one of us have have been there.

00:16:30.720 --> 00:16:34.559
And this week it's somewhere that you've been and I've never been.

00:16:35.120 --> 00:16:36.879
Yes, but I haven't been there in many years.

00:16:37.039 --> 00:16:38.080
Yeah, so I'm excited.

00:16:38.320 --> 00:16:39.759
But I worked there for 10 years.

00:16:40.000 --> 00:16:41.919
Well, you just call that where we're going.

00:16:44.639 --> 00:16:54.399
So I I despite the end of what happened at service, yeah, man, I was so grateful to walk in those doors.

00:16:54.639 --> 00:16:54.960
Yes.

00:16:55.200 --> 00:17:12.400
And I this is very personal to this is okay, so I'm gonna kind of go on the the spiritual warfare kind of a thing right now because for the first time in I can't even tell you since Doug and I first got married, our bank account.

00:17:12.559 --> 00:17:14.319
We woke up to a negative bank account.

00:17:14.480 --> 00:17:19.599
Oh and I was like, I was sitting there thinking, I'm like, I what?

00:17:19.759 --> 00:17:21.759
Doug's like, what I don't understand what's going on.

00:17:21.839 --> 00:17:25.039
This isn't this this has not happened to us.

00:17:25.519 --> 00:17:31.599
And I jokingly said, well, it's because I walked into a church and Satan's like, oh, because he knows how to get to me.

00:17:31.680 --> 00:17:34.799
It's always money, money and money in my family, my kids.

00:17:35.200 --> 00:17:37.519
My well, actually, my my marriage.

00:17:37.839 --> 00:17:40.079
And I was like, oh, Satan's pissed.

00:17:40.160 --> 00:17:44.000
Cause I think he was thinking, well, she says she's listening to Jesus.

00:17:44.160 --> 00:17:48.079
She says she's listening to the Bible, but she's not going to church, so we're not gonna.

00:17:48.319 --> 00:17:52.319
But the minute I walked into a church, I'm like, man, that's what for me.

00:17:53.039 --> 00:17:59.519
Whether you believe in spiritual warfare or not, I was like, gosh, okay, here we go.

00:18:00.240 --> 00:18:01.519
Here we go.

00:18:02.480 --> 00:18:15.279
But you know what I I like about what you just said, not that that you had to experience that, but you recognize that this may have been coinciding with it.

00:18:15.440 --> 00:18:16.240
Oh yeah.

00:18:16.880 --> 00:18:18.000
But it's not stopping you.

00:18:18.240 --> 00:18:20.720
No, I mean we're still gonna we're still gonna go.

00:18:20.799 --> 00:18:29.119
I I fully believe, you know, it's why you have savings, it's why you're able to to do the things that you need to do.

00:18:29.359 --> 00:18:34.079
And I fully believe that God is like, just continue to trust me.

00:18:34.319 --> 00:18:49.759
You know, I also still told Doug, I'm like, you I took an over$20,000 pay cut, which really, really sucks, but it's was the right for us, and we were everything was fine until I decided to step into a church.

00:18:49.920 --> 00:18:51.519
And it's not that's not the reason.

00:18:51.680 --> 00:18:53.759
That's not the reason.

00:18:54.000 --> 00:18:55.920
That's not 100% not the reason.

00:18:56.240 --> 00:19:09.119
I just, you know, sometimes, you know, when you try and you move forward towards towards God and you make big moves, sometimes things can happen where it makes you pause and be like, well, I guess I'm not supposed to.

00:19:09.519 --> 00:19:18.640
Listen, spiritual warfare always hits where it thinks you're comfortable, it always attacks your comfort comfortability, it always attacks where you want to feel most safe and secure.

00:19:18.799 --> 00:19:19.440
Yeah.

00:19:20.079 --> 00:19:22.559
And we made a big move.

00:19:22.640 --> 00:19:25.279
I made a big move for the first time in nine months.

00:19:25.680 --> 00:19:32.079
And I think, you know, it could stop me and say, well, not worth it.

00:19:32.400 --> 00:19:34.400
But that is not what God said.

00:19:34.480 --> 00:19:35.680
So I want to continue.

00:19:36.000 --> 00:19:37.039
Well, uh yeah.

00:19:37.279 --> 00:19:46.319
So I yeah, I just I w Gosh, I I don't even know how to explain, but when I saw you walk in, I was wow.

00:19:46.400 --> 00:19:51.680
I'm like, there's like it was almost like you were sparkling in some way, shape, or form.

00:19:52.000 --> 00:19:55.599
And it was reminiscent to me first meeting you.

00:19:56.079 --> 00:19:56.319
Oh.

00:19:57.119 --> 00:19:58.799
Of when I was very bubbly.

00:19:59.119 --> 00:20:04.000
Bubbly and there was a vibrancy in you that I just I haven't seen in a while.

00:20:04.559 --> 00:20:09.680
And that's so funny that Doug recognized it the same way that I did.

00:20:11.359 --> 00:20:12.240
So I'm excited.

00:20:12.319 --> 00:20:15.440
I'm I'm excited to see to continue this journey.

00:20:15.680 --> 00:20:16.079
Yeah.

00:20:16.319 --> 00:20:18.799
And to see all these other different churches that we're gonna go to.

00:20:18.960 --> 00:20:26.240
And okay, so I think just kind of, you know, in kind of transitioning out, not just visiting new churches, but you know, so when you go through hard things, yeah.

00:20:26.720 --> 00:20:33.680
You don't I I think there's a little piece of like if you've been hurt, there's a piece of healing that is like, I just want to go back to high thought before.

00:20:33.920 --> 00:20:34.960
Yeah, there there is.

00:20:35.200 --> 00:20:36.559
But that's not what healing's for.

00:20:36.640 --> 00:20:37.839
You're not supposed to go backwards.

00:20:38.000 --> 00:20:39.680
No, you're supposed to go forwards.

00:20:40.000 --> 00:20:43.279
And and part of it is recognizing all the all the things.

00:20:44.079 --> 00:20:57.279
And and and I think we probably had the reaction we had at the end of church is because I never attended a, you know, I've been going to church for over 18 years now.

00:20:58.240 --> 00:21:04.079
And so I have, you know, things that I want to see and want to do.

00:21:04.160 --> 00:21:06.559
And and for the most part, man, it was awesome.

00:21:06.960 --> 00:21:08.079
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:21:08.160 --> 00:21:08.880
I I agree.

00:21:09.200 --> 00:21:10.559
I just rambled on.

00:21:12.559 --> 00:21:13.279
Let's transition.

00:21:13.599 --> 00:21:14.480
Well, I think what's interesting.

00:21:14.960 --> 00:21:19.759
Okay, so I I yeah, it's you know, obviously, like we're seeing things shift in our own lives.

00:21:19.839 --> 00:21:20.079
Yeah.

00:21:20.240 --> 00:21:24.400
And I also think I've never not been a part of a church.

00:21:24.799 --> 00:21:28.480
Not as a kid, not as an adult, not of any of these things.

00:21:28.640 --> 00:21:34.160
However, I think what I need now is different than maybe what I was looking for when I was that's a great point, yeah.

00:21:34.400 --> 00:21:37.359
Finding my first church in adulthood.

00:21:37.599 --> 00:21:38.079
Yes.

00:21:38.319 --> 00:21:42.160
Cause when when I went, I was late 20s.

00:21:42.319 --> 00:21:42.559
Yeah.

00:21:42.799 --> 00:21:44.319
Now I'm late forties.

00:21:45.440 --> 00:21:45.839
Yes.

00:21:46.079 --> 00:21:48.960
So I'm a totally, totally different person.

00:21:49.200 --> 00:21:49.440
Yeah.

00:21:49.599 --> 00:21:59.759
And I think I was looking for, you know, a kids' ministry and you know, and not that I those aren't important things right now, but and like where I am right now, it just isn't.

00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:01.839
I'm I'm clearly not the same person.

00:22:02.079 --> 00:22:05.599
Yeah, and I don't want to go to a church where it's all old people.

00:22:06.319 --> 00:22:10.880
Yeah, that's why I think I said last week like intergenerational like means a lot to me.

00:22:11.119 --> 00:22:12.079
I want to see youth.

00:22:12.160 --> 00:22:22.880
I want to see I want to see people who are older than me and I want to see people who are in the same stage of life as me because I want to be able to pour into the next generation and I want the generation above me to pour into me.

00:22:23.039 --> 00:22:23.440
Yeah.

00:22:23.680 --> 00:22:25.759
That's incredibly important to me.

00:22:25.920 --> 00:22:29.039
And I would love if I walked into it, and not everybody looked exactly like me.

00:22:29.200 --> 00:22:30.480
It's yes, I agree.

00:22:30.640 --> 00:22:31.119
I agree.

00:22:31.279 --> 00:22:32.880
And that when we're gonna we're gonna try.

00:22:33.279 --> 00:22:33.440
Yeah.

00:22:33.680 --> 00:22:35.680
Well, yeah, it we keep going.

00:22:36.000 --> 00:22:44.400
But yeah, I just think what's interesting is the kind of like we're, you know, basing not just about like finding new things, but there are things that we have tolerated in the past that we're not gonna tolerate now.

00:22:44.640 --> 00:22:45.839
I agree with that.

00:22:46.640 --> 00:22:58.240
I maybe that's something you're 40s and beyond because I've always heard people, you know, they say when you get to midlife, it's just like there's just things that like you can't, I mean, is tolerate the right word.

00:22:58.480 --> 00:22:59.359
Maybe.

00:22:59.759 --> 00:23:02.960
There's just there's just things you're not gonna mess around with anymore.

00:23:03.200 --> 00:23:06.160
Yeah, and and any church you go to, you're not gonna agree with everything.

00:23:06.319 --> 00:23:06.640
No.

00:23:07.440 --> 00:23:08.079
It's impossible.

00:23:08.319 --> 00:23:09.359
I'm not even saying about church.

00:23:09.440 --> 00:23:10.559
I'm just saying in life.

00:23:11.599 --> 00:23:12.079
In life.

00:23:12.240 --> 00:23:12.319
Yeah.

00:23:12.640 --> 00:23:16.799
Because while church may be the transition thing we're talking about right now, that is not what it is.

00:23:16.880 --> 00:23:17.680
Everybody's right now.

00:23:17.839 --> 00:23:18.000
Yeah.

00:23:18.160 --> 00:23:30.240
But I guarantee you, I don't know anybody in their 40s and 50s right now, or maybe if you've already lived this angle and beyond, that you're like, yeah, I'm just not gonna, I'm just not gonna deal with some stuff anymore.

00:23:30.720 --> 00:23:32.000
Because we don't have to.

00:23:32.319 --> 00:23:32.640
No.

00:23:33.279 --> 00:23:38.960
And I put up with a lot of stuff in my early adulthood that I didn't know I could say no to.

00:23:39.359 --> 00:23:40.960
Isn't it nice saying no?

00:23:41.359 --> 00:23:42.079
Love it.

00:23:45.039 --> 00:23:50.160
So anyway, so I just feel like you know, we're kind of leaning into things.

00:23:50.559 --> 00:23:52.880
We're we're not gonna tolerate things that feel off.

00:23:53.200 --> 00:23:53.839
I agree.

00:23:54.160 --> 00:24:00.559
I mean, I think we will still try our best to be solution-minded for things.

00:24:01.119 --> 00:24:13.279
But in this stage of like finding new places, specifically with us, with like the church part, there are things that you know we won't we won't lean too hard into if we get the if we get, you know, an ick.

00:24:14.319 --> 00:24:18.480
And and once again, that that's our feelings.

00:24:20.240 --> 00:24:26.960
Because there's people who will who will go to to this particular church and and for the first time and be like, man, I'm all in.

00:24:27.039 --> 00:24:27.519
I love it.

00:24:27.680 --> 00:24:30.400
And I love that for for them.

00:24:30.880 --> 00:24:36.400
But we said this, like, I think sometimes God puts us on journeys to to show us what's not right for us.

00:24:36.640 --> 00:24:37.119
Yes.

00:24:37.359 --> 00:24:39.519
For for me, Casey Bryant, personally.

00:24:39.839 --> 00:24:49.839
But yeah, but I even think about people at our age who are switching careers or they have which I have seen that happen so many.

00:24:50.160 --> 00:25:00.240
I know so many people my age that right now are like, which it seems crazy because you've and uh And I and I think similar, some of them are in the same bit where I am, or responsibility and they're out.

00:25:00.559 --> 00:25:10.240
And actually I had the conversation with somebody who was like, I took a less paying job because I was leading a whole entire team and I don't want to and I do not want to lead a team anymore.

00:25:10.480 --> 00:25:13.359
So I was willing to take the pay cut for the less stress.

00:25:13.839 --> 00:25:15.440
I'm like, I hear ya.

00:25:16.079 --> 00:25:21.599
So I mean, my husband has been working two full-time jobs.

00:25:21.759 --> 00:25:23.440
Yes, he has um for a long time.

00:25:23.680 --> 00:25:26.079
For for three years, and he was contracted to do it for three years.

00:25:26.160 --> 00:25:28.480
He had an assistant, you know, all of all of the things.

00:25:28.640 --> 00:25:35.759
So it's not like he's had like the the bulk of the total weight, but he has had the responsibility of decisions for two full-time jobs.

00:25:36.000 --> 00:25:41.039
And he switches back to one in I think July 1st.

00:25:41.359 --> 00:25:43.039
Oh, how excited is he?

00:25:51.599 --> 00:25:54.000
Not as excited for the pay cut that's coming with us.

00:25:54.319 --> 00:25:55.680
I know, gosh, I know.

00:25:56.720 --> 00:25:57.599
I don't want to talk, yeah.

00:25:58.799 --> 00:25:59.359
But it's a worry.

00:25:59.519 --> 00:26:00.720
It it it happened to us.

00:26:00.880 --> 00:26:05.039
It happened to us for the first time this week where it was we yeah.

00:26:06.559 --> 00:26:06.720
Boo.

00:26:07.119 --> 00:26:08.240
Boo, I know.

00:26:08.720 --> 00:26:12.319
But rebudgeting is that word, but it's so important.

00:26:12.640 --> 00:26:13.759
I know, we're in it.

00:26:14.000 --> 00:26:21.839
But uh what I'm saying is just I just I think there's a this is a time, a season in your life where you have to evaluate what the next the next half looks like.

00:26:22.000 --> 00:26:22.640
Yeah.

00:26:23.519 --> 00:26:48.240
And I don't know, I don't I don't think it's a unique I mean whether you oh yeah, we're talking about like finding the right place in church, but I mean like I I think this applies anywhere, like whether you're finding trying the right career position or the right friend group, you know, yeah, or just kind of settling into like what the transition looks like because you're your your responsibilities change.

00:26:48.720 --> 00:26:50.799
Your responsibilities and how you see things.

00:26:50.960 --> 00:26:52.799
So you're evaluating everything.

00:26:52.960 --> 00:26:54.160
Is this going to help me?

00:26:54.319 --> 00:26:55.279
Is this going to hurt me?

00:26:55.359 --> 00:26:58.319
Is this going to bring more stress to my life?

00:26:58.799 --> 00:27:04.400
And you can do that with everything, with friend groups, all you know, jobs, everything.

00:27:04.559 --> 00:27:19.920
I think as we get older, well, for me, as as I get older, I don't want necessarily the big responsibility for the job anymore, maybe if it if it's the right job and and we'll see.

00:27:20.720 --> 00:27:30.480
But I with older kids and kids growing up, you're like, oh, my responsibilities and my need to be focused on them still.

00:27:31.039 --> 00:27:40.480
Because I as parents of a of adult kids or older kids realize that it doesn't get easier as they get older.

00:27:40.640 --> 00:27:43.119
Your stress level definitely doesn't go away.

00:27:43.279 --> 00:27:50.880
It increases as they're driving thousands of miles to Florida in your car and hoping that they come home safely.

00:27:51.200 --> 00:27:51.599
Yeah.

00:27:52.640 --> 00:27:59.519
But I think, you know, like kind of just going back to where we were of just kind of like what things look like for the next parts.

00:27:59.759 --> 00:28:02.720
I think I am looking for honesty over image.

00:28:02.960 --> 00:28:03.279
Oh.

00:28:04.160 --> 00:28:05.359
It's not about titles.

00:28:05.599 --> 00:28:05.839
Yeah.

00:28:06.000 --> 00:28:06.799
Oh, I like that.

00:28:06.960 --> 00:28:10.960
It's not about gosh, because that's so true, because we get so focused on titles.

00:28:11.680 --> 00:28:12.799
I yeah.

00:28:13.200 --> 00:28:21.839
I had a conversation with my boss recently, and it was I it was a casual conversation.

00:28:21.920 --> 00:28:22.799
Let me just put it this way.

00:28:22.960 --> 00:28:23.119
Yeah.

00:28:23.279 --> 00:28:25.359
But what flew out of my mouth was really honest.

00:28:25.599 --> 00:28:25.920
Oh.

00:28:26.400 --> 00:28:31.279
And he kind of looked at me like, ooh, but I said, I've never been in a place where I can't move up.

00:28:32.319 --> 00:28:33.519
Oh, interesting.

00:28:33.759 --> 00:28:43.519
I've never been in a place where I didn't have a circle of influence of some sort of, you know, like leadership, you know, like even in volunteer roles.

00:28:43.599 --> 00:28:49.599
It's like it's or I just it honestly, everything I've really ever been in, I just kind of like I'm an all-in-person.

00:28:49.839 --> 00:28:51.920
There's opportunities to grow other things to be bigger.

00:28:52.000 --> 00:28:52.240
Yeah.

00:28:52.480 --> 00:28:56.079
And right now I'm in a place in my job that like I don't have that.

00:28:56.400 --> 00:28:57.440
I'm in the same spot.

00:28:57.519 --> 00:28:58.400
There is nowhere for me to go.

00:28:58.480 --> 00:28:59.759
No, there's nowhere for me to go.

00:29:00.000 --> 00:29:02.160
And and there's and there's it's comfortable.

00:29:02.240 --> 00:29:04.480
Like, I'm not bringing home stress, which is amazing.

00:29:04.640 --> 00:29:05.119
Yes.

00:29:05.359 --> 00:29:19.359
But also I I in the things that like I have poured everything into, like, other than in parenting right now, that's like the only influence I have on watching my adult child like need less of that, which I don't know.

00:29:19.599 --> 00:29:22.240
So I I guess in that, way more stress.

00:29:22.480 --> 00:29:23.119
Yes.

00:29:23.599 --> 00:29:33.359
So I just I jotted down like honesty over image because I think in my younger years, I was chasing goals.

00:29:33.519 --> 00:29:35.759
I was chasing what the next house looked like.

00:29:35.920 --> 00:29:37.920
I was chasing like the dream car.

00:29:38.160 --> 00:29:42.960
I was chasing a title of what I might be of a job.

00:29:43.200 --> 00:29:43.839
Yeah.

00:29:44.319 --> 00:29:47.519
Whether it looked like ministry or not ministry, you know what I mean?

00:29:47.680 --> 00:29:51.519
Like I wanted an author next to my name.

00:29:51.680 --> 00:29:53.519
I wanted Say, I wanted a I wanted to be a good one.

00:29:54.240 --> 00:29:58.240
There's these titles that I had, like I just have a book by now.

00:29:58.559 --> 00:30:01.279
Yeah, there's just, yeah, there's things that you thought.

00:30:01.599 --> 00:30:15.440
And I think I would, even if it's just spilling my guts here on this podcast, this feels more authentic to who I am and where I need to be right now, rather than chasing dreams of clout.

00:30:15.599 --> 00:30:15.920
Yeah.

00:30:16.079 --> 00:30:22.799
And it's interesting because we were just talking about this before, is I got an invite to to a conference to come watch.

00:30:23.119 --> 00:30:27.200
And I said to you, I'm like, okay, great, I love that.

00:30:27.359 --> 00:30:31.039
However, I don't know why I'm getting because I have zero influence anymore.

00:30:31.759 --> 00:30:45.279
Like where where of my title, of what of what I was doing, of you know, of in the community, like it I have in that aspect, I have zero recognition or influence.

00:30:45.359 --> 00:30:52.799
So I think it's interesting that, you know, so I'm always the recognition, the influence that like we thought we needed.

00:30:52.960 --> 00:30:53.599
Yeah.

00:30:54.079 --> 00:30:58.160
I just feel like God's shifting something and you're like, it was never about any of that stuff.

00:30:58.319 --> 00:30:59.680
I I guess.

00:31:00.160 --> 00:31:01.200
Which I just I don't know.

00:31:01.279 --> 00:31:16.079
It's hard because like, you know, you we feel like you're working, working, working towards things to all of a sudden be like, oh, I I'm not saying I'm content, you know, but I am saying like the things that like I thought I was working towards feel very different than the goals I have now.

00:31:16.400 --> 00:31:17.039
Yeah.

00:31:17.920 --> 00:31:19.440
You know, I just I don't know.

00:31:20.400 --> 00:31:24.640
And as far as like I I want growth.

00:31:24.960 --> 00:31:29.279
Always, but I don't, I am less looking for a hype.

00:31:29.839 --> 00:31:31.920
Oh, explain.

00:31:33.039 --> 00:31:49.839
And I can think I told you this, like, uh maybe we just touched on it last week, and I was talking about like what I'm looking for in like a church, what I'm looking for in relationship circles, what I'm looking for in friendships, when I'm even what I'm looking for in just my general relationships, I'm not looking for someone to just hype me up.

00:31:50.079 --> 00:31:51.039
Yeah, okay.

00:31:51.279 --> 00:31:51.759
Yeah.

00:31:52.079 --> 00:32:03.200
I I want growth, but I I'm almost okay with it being the gritty growth, you know, like not just telling me something that I like.

00:32:04.880 --> 00:32:06.160
I love when people give me feedback.

00:32:06.240 --> 00:32:06.400
Yes.

00:32:06.640 --> 00:32:09.359
You know, I generally take it pretty well.

00:32:09.680 --> 00:32:14.240
But there was uh somebody gave me feedback about the podcast.

00:32:14.400 --> 00:32:17.359
Oh and it wasn't favorable.

00:32:17.680 --> 00:32:19.920
Oh it happened.

00:32:20.240 --> 00:32:21.519
But I was like, but you know what?

00:32:21.599 --> 00:32:22.880
I was like, I needed to hear that.

00:32:23.119 --> 00:32:23.599
Great.

00:32:24.400 --> 00:32:26.079
Because a pivot needed to happen.

00:32:26.240 --> 00:32:26.640
Yeah.

00:32:27.200 --> 00:32:40.000
And but it was ten years ago, Stephanie, if you would have told her something like, I don't like the way you're doing something, or I think you could have done it better.

00:32:40.720 --> 00:32:46.079
I'm telling you ten years ago, Stephanie could not have handled constructive criticism the way that I can now.

00:32:46.480 --> 00:32:53.200
Meaning that would you would have defended, gone off right away, or would you have stewed and plotted?

00:32:54.400 --> 00:32:55.680
I would have stewed.

00:32:55.839 --> 00:32:56.319
Uh-huh.

00:32:57.200 --> 00:33:05.920
I I think I would I eventually I would have come probably come around to their advice, but after I had been like, how dare them say that to me.

00:33:06.079 --> 00:33:09.200
They don't know all of the stuff that goes into this.

00:33:09.920 --> 00:33:10.720
Probably it is.

00:33:11.200 --> 00:33:11.519
Probably.

00:33:11.759 --> 00:33:13.039
Do you have your own podcast?

00:33:13.200 --> 00:33:14.319
You're not doing anything.

00:33:14.640 --> 00:33:16.319
But of course I didn't have a podcast.

00:33:16.720 --> 00:33:21.519
But I mean, like anything that I would have done in that point, if somebody would have given me like, hey, hey, would you thought about doing this?

00:33:21.680 --> 00:33:23.440
Like, you think I didn't consider that?

00:33:23.599 --> 00:33:26.640
Yeah, I would have probably just been immediately defensive.

00:33:26.960 --> 00:33:27.359
Of course.

00:33:27.519 --> 00:33:33.759
And I've now I'm not in that place of I don't, I'm not defending a title.

00:33:33.839 --> 00:33:37.599
I'm not defending I'm just trying to be the best version of me.

00:33:37.680 --> 00:33:39.599
I'm I'm trying to follow Jesus.

00:33:39.839 --> 00:33:47.519
I'm trying to find the things that I do that bring him glory, and I'm trying to shake off the parts of me that want to do it for myself.

00:33:47.759 --> 00:33:51.440
And even this for us, it's just fun.

00:33:51.680 --> 00:33:52.640
It is fun.

00:33:53.119 --> 00:34:00.079
So whether it's right or wrong, or we're doing it right, or we're doing it wrong, we're having fun doing it.

00:34:00.319 --> 00:34:03.119
Yeah, I probably don't want to listen to some old episodes though.

00:34:03.519 --> 00:34:04.240
Already.

00:34:04.880 --> 00:34:08.079
I know, but a lot of people are going back and listening to the gosh.

00:34:08.320 --> 00:34:09.519
I I am floored.

00:34:09.679 --> 00:34:16.559
The biggest episodes that we have had are ones that have been extremely vulnerable and raw.

00:34:16.800 --> 00:34:25.440
And it's funny because it's like the older episodes have way more because they people find it from the beginning and those build and they're not caught up to where we are now.

00:34:25.679 --> 00:34:26.719
Oh, hilarious.

00:34:26.960 --> 00:34:30.400
So it is interesting where I can find where some friends are at in it.

00:34:30.559 --> 00:34:38.639
But I would say that with anything that you start, like you go back and you're like, ooh, that was rough.

00:34:38.960 --> 00:34:40.239
And it hasn't even been that long.

00:34:40.639 --> 00:34:42.639
I know, but it's it's so true.

00:34:42.800 --> 00:34:56.159
I mean, I go back to some of my older my first articles that I ever wrote, and I'm like, ooh, which you know, 12, 13 years ago when I was writing, I was like, man, seriously, that's that's that's what I wrote, and it did well, but okay.

00:34:56.559 --> 00:35:13.199
And I would also say the other thing right now, and just kind of like this, like in this season of where there has been some things healed, and I think like the beginning of like this hasn't really been a series, but I mean like we've kind of like built on an arc of like we want to be we want to be refined.

00:35:13.360 --> 00:35:16.559
Yeah, we want to take the moves, we want to step out.

00:35:18.400 --> 00:35:25.119
In that, one of the ways of I feel like God's refining me is I've always said I'm an all-in person.

00:35:25.360 --> 00:35:37.599
Yes, always but there's a piece of me that like all in doesn't want to look like overcommitment and overextending myself anymore, which is actually like I think all in for you is saying no.

00:35:38.239 --> 00:35:39.679
Yeah, it is.

00:35:40.400 --> 00:35:42.159
Which is really hard for you.

00:35:42.800 --> 00:35:43.440
Tremendously.

00:35:43.679 --> 00:35:45.599
And all in for me is saying yes.

00:35:47.840 --> 00:35:52.480
Because I've been saying no in my little your little cocoon.

00:35:52.719 --> 00:35:56.559
My little, you know, introverted, don't want to go out cocoon.

00:35:57.599 --> 00:35:58.000
Yeah.

00:35:58.239 --> 00:36:07.920
So now it's interesting because we're coming into that happy medium between the both of us, of where you're saying no to things and I'm saying yes, and we're actually meeting each other in the middle.

00:36:09.039 --> 00:36:11.519
I it's a fun journey to be on with somebody.

00:36:11.760 --> 00:36:12.719
It really is.

00:36:13.360 --> 00:36:37.119
And I I'm enjoying it, and I would, you know, I'm grateful that it's not with my husband because of we we know each other, you know, when you've been married for so long, we know each other so well that to have outside opinions, even though you know me, you know me well, but to be able to to have those other insights.

00:36:37.679 --> 00:36:42.639
They're insights because we don't have, I mean, we like we don't have a total shared history.

00:36:42.880 --> 00:36:43.519
Yeah.

00:36:43.840 --> 00:36:46.960
So I think there's insights you can see glean off of someone.

00:36:47.280 --> 00:36:52.719
Especially with you with your experience, uh not experience, but you've been you've been in church your whole entire life where I haven't.

00:36:52.880 --> 00:36:55.599
So I only know one type of church.

00:36:55.840 --> 00:36:56.400
Yeah.

00:36:56.639 --> 00:37:03.920
And so to have your you standing next to me, because same with Doug, like he only knows one type of church.

00:37:04.079 --> 00:37:13.119
And so I think it's great just to have someone who can balance me who can who can question my like what I'm seeing or what I'm saying, or like, hey, do you agree?

00:37:13.199 --> 00:37:15.440
And and we don't agree on everything.

00:37:15.760 --> 00:37:16.079
No.

00:37:16.400 --> 00:37:20.639
Actually, we don't agree on a lot of things, but that's what I love.

00:37:20.719 --> 00:37:24.000
I mean, we agree with Jesus and who Jesus is, and we love Jesus.

00:37:24.239 --> 00:37:28.239
But I mean, there's so much of our lives that we uh we just do things differently.

00:37:28.719 --> 00:37:30.480
Which I freaking love that.

00:37:30.800 --> 00:37:35.679
But I and I think that's the part about I think what you know, and the kind of like the seeking of community.

00:37:35.760 --> 00:37:39.039
Like I don't need I don't need so I don't need community to look exactly like me.

00:37:39.119 --> 00:37:40.639
I actually really prefer that it doesn't.

00:37:41.199 --> 00:37:41.840
Yes.

00:37:42.400 --> 00:37:48.320
I'm looking for things that like you can experience growth, but I, you know, to experience growth, there has to be challenge.

00:37:48.559 --> 00:37:48.960
Yeah.

00:37:49.119 --> 00:37:52.639
And you have to have somebody who's willing to challenge you in a healthy way.

00:37:52.880 --> 00:37:53.519
Yes.

00:37:54.000 --> 00:37:55.039
Yeah, yeah.

00:37:55.440 --> 00:38:05.840
I'm glad that you added that because there are people who do it and they and I probably have been challenged in ways before that I thought growth looked like I just need to be beat up a little.

00:38:07.119 --> 00:38:07.440
Okay.

00:38:08.000 --> 00:38:09.440
I don't know how to respond to that.

00:38:11.119 --> 00:38:13.360
I was really good at taking insults.

00:38:13.440 --> 00:38:15.199
I was really good about taking blame.

00:38:15.440 --> 00:38:20.159
I just I was really good about taking ownership of things that I didn't have ownership of.

00:38:20.239 --> 00:38:21.840
So if I thought it was gonna make things better.

00:38:22.079 --> 00:38:22.960
Oh, insane.

00:38:24.880 --> 00:38:29.119
If they're I do work just to make the friendships to make things pee.

00:38:29.360 --> 00:38:29.599
Yeah.

00:38:30.159 --> 00:38:34.239
I I could take insults and not just to make it stop.

00:38:34.400 --> 00:38:34.719
Hold on.

00:38:34.800 --> 00:38:39.679
And I should probably even just say like insults, because I think maybe they weren't maybe directed that way, but they were received that way.

00:38:39.840 --> 00:38:40.159
Yeah.

00:38:40.400 --> 00:38:44.880
And sometimes they are that way, but they didn't realize that those what that's what it was.

00:38:45.119 --> 00:38:51.599
But I in in jobs and friendships and just many, many things.

00:38:53.039 --> 00:38:58.559
I was more likely to just take the brunt of whatever it was if it helped something move on.

00:38:58.719 --> 00:38:59.119
Yes.

00:38:59.440 --> 00:39:01.039
Always the first one to apologize.

00:39:02.239 --> 00:39:05.119
Like, okay, might not have been my fault, but okay, great.

00:39:05.280 --> 00:39:07.760
You're you're saying it's my fault, my fault, my bad.

00:39:07.920 --> 00:39:10.320
Let's move on, figure out what we need to do.

00:39:10.960 --> 00:39:17.920
I I well, I told I I just briefly said I had a I had a thing with a friend a few weeks ago and it was rough.

00:39:19.360 --> 00:39:31.360
And without going into like what it was about, but there was a a thing of she was going through something I was listening.

00:39:31.519 --> 00:39:31.920
Yeah.

00:39:32.079 --> 00:39:39.119
I spoke into something that I probably could have used more tact.

00:39:39.440 --> 00:39:39.760
Okay.

00:39:40.400 --> 00:39:46.559
And I probably could have maybe just listened and not said anything at all.

00:39:46.719 --> 00:39:47.039
Okay.

00:39:47.280 --> 00:39:49.039
So that's just that's just kind of the background.

00:39:49.519 --> 00:39:51.039
I mean, that's sometimes so hard to discern.

00:39:51.440 --> 00:39:51.599
I know.

00:39:52.159 --> 00:39:54.000
And in the moment I I I didn't do it well.

00:39:54.239 --> 00:39:56.159
I don't think I I it wasn't bad.

00:39:56.239 --> 00:39:58.880
And here's the thing is what I said was not bad.

00:39:59.039 --> 00:40:02.320
It's just I didn't perceive it in the moment of how it could be received.

00:40:02.480 --> 00:40:02.800
Okay.

00:40:02.960 --> 00:40:03.280
Okay.

00:40:04.079 --> 00:40:12.000
And one of the things that she came back at me with was like, why can't you just say you're sorry?

00:40:12.880 --> 00:40:13.199
Oh.

00:40:14.480 --> 00:40:19.280
And and I want to be so clear, I'm glad that it was the way that it was.

00:40:19.360 --> 00:40:25.440
It was because I needed to kind of fight within my own self of why I didn't want to immediately glaze over this.

00:40:25.599 --> 00:40:26.239
Yeah.

00:40:26.559 --> 00:40:31.039
Because in that moment, what I said wasn't what needed an apology.

00:40:31.199 --> 00:40:31.840
Yeah.

00:40:34.320 --> 00:40:53.920
I feel like our friendship, as deep as it is, will be better now because we had a chance to talk about not only like where we were at that moment, but also we're we were working off terms of our friendship for 20 plus years.

00:40:54.239 --> 00:40:55.199
Oh gosh, yes.

00:40:55.440 --> 00:40:57.679
And we are in different places and spaces right now.

00:40:57.760 --> 00:40:58.079
Yeah.

00:40:58.320 --> 00:41:04.079
Where she has always been in a really bold I can handle everything, and she's in a more tender place in her life right now.

00:41:05.280 --> 00:41:14.719
And I needed to be aware of like as tough as I know she is, like it wasn't in a moment that she needed tough love.

00:41:14.960 --> 00:41:15.440
Yeah.

00:41:15.679 --> 00:41:22.079
And I was in a place of wow, I have been in a really sensitive place before.

00:41:22.400 --> 00:41:25.199
And I needed to do a better job of recognizing that.

00:41:25.599 --> 00:41:27.679
Because so we weren't necessarily in the same place.

00:41:28.239 --> 00:41:36.239
All that to say was when I talk about I I don't like the way that that happened.

00:41:36.400 --> 00:41:41.920
However, I'm glad that it happened because I think we are going to be better friends moving forward.

00:41:43.599 --> 00:41:54.400
But it was one of the very first times ever that I was like there was something in me of I don't want to apologize in glazo for this just to move on.

00:41:57.119 --> 00:42:02.639
Because what you said was the words were were were true.

00:42:03.039 --> 00:42:06.079
The words that I was responding to were that.

00:42:07.440 --> 00:42:09.920
But the delivery probably wasn't the best.

00:42:10.079 --> 00:42:18.400
It wasn't the best because I I wasn't delivering it to the way that I normally if they would have come to you, somebody would have come to you in the past and said, Hey, why aren't you apologizing for this?

00:42:18.480 --> 00:42:21.599
You would have been like, Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't know you you took it that way.

00:42:21.760 --> 00:42:22.559
That's not what I meant.

00:42:22.639 --> 00:42:31.840
And this time you were like, I'm not going, I'm not going to I and I don't even want to focus so much on was it was I right, was I wrong, or on on either side of that.

00:42:32.239 --> 00:42:38.000
Because I think we both realized, oh, I think we were functioning on the rules of something of 20 years ago that we had based.

00:42:38.159 --> 00:42:39.039
And we're now different people.

00:42:39.119 --> 00:42:40.159
And we're now we're different people.

00:42:40.320 --> 00:42:40.559
Yeah.

00:42:40.800 --> 00:42:44.320
And I think it's okay that we change how we how we communicate.

00:42:44.480 --> 00:42:44.960
Yeah.

00:42:45.199 --> 00:42:49.920
And in that it was like, okay, well, and we're both overthinkers.

00:42:50.239 --> 00:42:50.960
Oh, yeah.

00:42:51.119 --> 00:42:53.679
I think that's that's very typical for for women though, too.

00:42:53.920 --> 00:42:54.960
So we ruminate.

00:42:55.199 --> 00:43:00.239
So we don't always think of it in the moment because I was like, hey, you know, if you're having that thought, like I need you to tell me right away.

00:43:00.320 --> 00:43:02.559
And she's like, but I won't know till three days later.

00:43:02.800 --> 00:43:05.119
I the I I mean, I'm the same way.

00:43:05.199 --> 00:43:06.000
I'm such a processor.

00:43:06.159 --> 00:43:07.519
And then I come up on my way home.

00:43:07.599 --> 00:43:14.159
I'm like, oh my gosh, if I would have said this, I had to come up with all of these great points of how I could have won the argument.

00:43:14.400 --> 00:43:15.679
And it wasn't really an argument.

00:43:16.000 --> 00:43:17.599
Yeah, and for us, yes.

00:43:17.760 --> 00:43:23.599
But for us, I mean, like, this wasn't really even an argument, but it was funny because we went a little over a week without talking.

00:43:23.920 --> 00:43:27.840
And she had gone way down the rabbit hole.

00:43:28.000 --> 00:43:32.079
Rabbit hole of one way, and I went way down the rabbit hole another way.

00:43:32.320 --> 00:43:35.360
And we were honestly having very separate arguments at that point.

00:43:35.440 --> 00:43:37.760
And it wasn't even an I argument's not even the right word.

00:43:37.840 --> 00:43:40.719
We were having very separate feelings of what we thought the other person was feeling.

00:43:40.880 --> 00:43:41.039
Oh.

00:43:42.159 --> 00:43:47.679
So we were combating things that weren't even the issue with the other person.

00:43:48.400 --> 00:43:49.360
Isn't that wild?

00:43:49.599 --> 00:43:52.480
That's because but we do that with everything.

00:43:52.719 --> 00:43:53.360
I know, I know.

00:43:53.519 --> 00:43:59.519
I mean, text messages are the worst where we read something and we just because you can't tell tone or anything.

00:44:00.079 --> 00:44:02.559
With with text messages, and then we'll just stew on them.

00:44:02.639 --> 00:44:05.760
Like, oh my gosh, I can't believe that was said to me.

00:44:05.920 --> 00:44:07.679
And then they're like, What are you talking about?

00:44:07.840 --> 00:44:09.039
I'm like, whoops.

00:44:09.440 --> 00:44:09.920
Yeah.

00:44:10.159 --> 00:44:19.039
Well, you know, all that is to say, I want to focus on if my circles are smaller, it's okay.

00:44:19.199 --> 00:44:20.400
I just want them to be stronger.

00:44:20.719 --> 00:44:22.000
Ooh, I like that.

00:44:22.960 --> 00:44:28.320
And moving kind of in the like new directions of things.

00:44:29.519 --> 00:44:33.360
How do we show up differently now that we know we're on healing paths?

00:44:34.960 --> 00:44:36.400
I want to be more intentional.

00:44:37.440 --> 00:44:38.639
I want to be more honest.

00:44:38.880 --> 00:44:39.440
Yes.

00:44:39.679 --> 00:44:45.039
Which is really kind of funny because I feel like I'm really a vulnerable and authentic person.

00:44:45.119 --> 00:44:48.239
You get my raw, unfiltered, like most of the time.

00:44:48.559 --> 00:44:57.360
However, I feel like I've been more raw and unfiltered to how I feel about other things and less raw and unfiltered about how I feel about me and my particular needs.

00:44:59.360 --> 00:45:07.599
Which you may not gather that from that because you're like, yeah, you've been pretty raw, pretty raw, pretty open, pretty honest on all your feels.

00:45:07.920 --> 00:45:09.360
Yeah, lots of feels.

00:45:09.760 --> 00:45:10.320
Yeah.

00:45:10.559 --> 00:45:16.559
I think, but you are stepping into moving forward, and I am not hiding in productivity.

00:45:16.800 --> 00:45:17.440
Yes.

00:45:17.840 --> 00:45:19.360
Which that's, I don't know.

00:45:19.440 --> 00:45:21.119
It's a, it's, it's weird.

00:45:21.360 --> 00:45:24.320
I've been an overfunctioner for a very long time.

00:45:25.760 --> 00:45:27.119
You yes, you have been.

00:45:27.199 --> 00:45:40.239
And we, I mean, that we've been talking about that since episode one, where, you know, I think it's been very clear for you that God is saying that for for you for to be more productive is you need to take a step back.

00:45:40.559 --> 00:45:41.360
I know, I know.

00:45:41.440 --> 00:45:43.519
And I'm still working on like what do those things look like?

00:45:43.599 --> 00:45:45.039
What a stepping back look like.

00:45:45.199 --> 00:45:45.440
Yeah.

00:45:45.679 --> 00:45:52.639
And I do think part of what we're doing right now is examining other places in life and seeing if there's other systems that we're supposed to be a part of.

00:45:52.800 --> 00:45:55.199
There's new relationships to be formed in new places.

00:45:55.360 --> 00:45:55.760
Yeah.

00:45:56.000 --> 00:45:58.079
Which in one way feels harder.

00:45:59.199 --> 00:46:05.519
But in other ways, it feels like maybe it relieves other things, you know.

00:46:05.760 --> 00:46:06.719
I don't know.

00:46:07.360 --> 00:46:07.840
I don't.

00:46:09.119 --> 00:46:15.519
So uh yeah, I think all that to say is I think in this refinement just changes how we show up to things.

00:46:17.440 --> 00:46:17.920
Yeah.

00:46:18.159 --> 00:46:20.239
I I I can't really add to that.

00:46:20.719 --> 00:46:21.280
I agree.

00:46:21.599 --> 00:46:22.079
I don't know.

00:46:22.159 --> 00:46:23.519
And I just think that's wherever you are.

00:46:23.679 --> 00:46:24.559
I think it's wherever you are.

00:46:24.719 --> 00:46:26.480
I mean, we can talk about the examples of our own life.

00:46:26.639 --> 00:46:28.239
We hope you resonate with some of it.

00:46:28.480 --> 00:46:30.239
And it doesn't need to be in the same place.

00:46:30.400 --> 00:46:47.280
But I think when you are in places of healing, when you have allowed God to refine, if you've walked through fire for refinement in any area of your life, how you come out of that, it's probably gonna be a little bit clearer, a little bit sharper.

00:46:47.519 --> 00:46:55.679
There's going to be a reflection on it of him that is different than when you tried to sharpen yourself, yours like yourself.

00:46:55.920 --> 00:46:56.559
Yes.

00:46:56.960 --> 00:46:57.599
On your own.

00:46:57.920 --> 00:46:59.039
On your own.

00:47:00.000 --> 00:47:08.400
So I I think, you know, when you look, you know, like, I don't know, I've probably seen videos of this, but I mean, like, when you try and like carve something out on your own.

00:47:08.480 --> 00:47:11.840
Let's say you're carving out some sort of a weapon.

00:47:11.920 --> 00:47:14.159
I don't know why anybody would do that, but let's say we're carving out a weapon.

00:47:14.400 --> 00:47:14.480
Okay.

00:47:17.199 --> 00:47:23.840
If you're trying to carve something on your own, uh, stone, wood, whatever material you're using, you can only do so much.

00:47:24.079 --> 00:47:24.719
Yeah.

00:47:26.000 --> 00:47:28.800
Until it goes through a refinement process.

00:47:29.119 --> 00:47:29.440
Okay.

00:47:29.599 --> 00:47:31.039
I see what you're saying.

00:47:31.440 --> 00:47:38.320
You wouldn't nothing that I can build will ever have the reflection that refinement brings.

00:47:39.039 --> 00:47:39.519
Yeah.

00:47:39.760 --> 00:47:43.360
And the reflection is not, you know, the finishing is what Jesus can do.

00:47:44.079 --> 00:47:46.000
We can't do that on our own.

00:47:46.320 --> 00:47:46.639
No.

00:47:47.360 --> 00:47:48.880
Yeah, I can sharpen things.

00:47:48.960 --> 00:47:50.320
I iron sharpens iron.

00:47:50.400 --> 00:47:59.760
I mean, like we can sharpen uh one another, but that's it's not the same thing as like letting him in and being like, you get to mold this.

00:47:59.920 --> 00:48:00.559
Yeah.

00:48:01.199 --> 00:48:05.679
You get to decide what next day on here and what gets smoothed out.

00:48:06.880 --> 00:48:15.360
I would say all of the Nicks stay, they just get, as you say, more refined and they help us to grow into stronger people.

00:48:15.599 --> 00:48:16.239
Yeah.

00:48:17.360 --> 00:48:18.800
More wiser people.

00:48:19.039 --> 00:48:19.199
Yeah.

00:48:19.440 --> 00:48:19.760
More wiser.

00:48:20.079 --> 00:48:27.679
But I think I I guess, you know, where I have stayed is, you know, I think I've just deepened some of those nicks on my own trying to fix it.

00:48:28.000 --> 00:48:29.039
Oh, yes.

00:48:29.280 --> 00:48:30.480
Because that's what we do.

00:48:30.800 --> 00:48:32.639
And I don't want to do that anymore.

00:48:32.880 --> 00:48:33.199
No.

00:48:34.559 --> 00:48:35.920
Until next week where I have a setback.

00:48:36.000 --> 00:48:36.639
I'm just kidding.

00:48:38.079 --> 00:48:45.840
We're gonna do well, I mean, and in order to refine them, you have to take bold moves and bold moves that you believe that God is calling you to.

00:48:46.079 --> 00:48:46.559
Yeah.

00:48:46.800 --> 00:48:48.239
Well, we're not perfect.

00:48:48.480 --> 00:48:48.800
No.

00:48:49.199 --> 00:48:52.159
But I do think we're closer to being intentional.

00:48:52.320 --> 00:48:52.800
Mm-hmm.

00:48:54.079 --> 00:49:02.960
And less afraid of taking some next steps.

00:49:03.360 --> 00:49:03.760
Yeah.

00:49:04.000 --> 00:49:22.559
As scary as I thought walking into church was going to be, there was a huge relief of stepping into a church and realizing, oh, okay, I'm I'm meant to be in a in a place.

00:49:22.719 --> 00:49:24.159
I'm meant to be in a church.

00:49:24.480 --> 00:49:24.800
Yeah.

00:49:24.960 --> 00:49:29.519
So I think whether you're changing or you feel changed.

00:49:29.760 --> 00:49:30.400
Yes.

00:49:31.039 --> 00:49:40.800
And I would say this is not even just about you and I, but I would say for anyone, like, what are the things you can't ignore anymore that need to show up differently now that you know there's a change?

00:49:41.039 --> 00:49:41.679
Yeah.

00:49:42.320 --> 00:49:45.840
So I'll leave that question with you guys who are listening.

00:49:45.920 --> 00:49:57.840
You know, like if you know that things need to be changed or you have felt changed or there's been a shift, what are things that you can't ignore anymore and that you know you need to show up in different circles and situations?

00:49:58.960 --> 00:50:00.320
How do you do it differently now?

00:50:00.480 --> 00:50:03.280
Like what what are the things you can't ignore anymore?

00:50:03.920 --> 00:50:06.159
I just think there are those are valid questions.

00:50:06.239 --> 00:50:09.599
And if you're not asking yourself those things, then maybe you're not as changed as you thought.

00:50:09.760 --> 00:50:10.159
Yeah.

00:50:10.480 --> 00:50:16.559
So, and also I think you're constantly in that that space of being changed.

00:50:16.800 --> 00:50:19.760
That's it's not a we've done it all.

00:50:19.840 --> 00:50:21.039
We've signed it.

00:50:21.519 --> 00:50:21.760
No.

00:50:22.079 --> 00:50:23.039
End of the podcast.

00:50:23.119 --> 00:50:23.679
We're done.

00:50:23.920 --> 00:50:29.760
Because it's not it will forever be.

00:50:29.920 --> 00:50:33.920
Yeah, we're just gonna keep showing up and asking God what what does he have for us?

00:50:34.159 --> 00:50:35.599
What do you have for us?

00:50:35.760 --> 00:50:37.679
Yeah, and where do you want us to go?

00:50:38.000 --> 00:50:39.840
All right, have a great week, everyone.